Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/637179
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Pleasehelp me to understand why it seems so common that after a divorce, the parent with visitation will allow themselves to fade out of their children's lives. In early 2009 I left my husband after repeated attempts to help him through his drug addiction. Our daugh- ters were 11 and 13 at the time. For the first two years, he kept up his visitation schedule. Despite having as much access to them as he wanted, he stuck to the schedule for the most part and then faded away. I know so many stories of others in the same situation. My girls are 18 and 20 now and they have learned that in their father's world, they don't matter. It hurts them deeply. Our girls are busy but they would love to get a call from their father and feel a sense of importance to him. Messages go unanswered. When they are together for holiday occasions, he cannot relate to them and he seems too self-absorbed to listen. The conversation is dominated by him. His girls are strong, intelligent and indepen- dent. He is either too self-absorbed or feels inadequate around them. What are your thoughts as to why this happens so much? —AtaLoss DEAR LOSS » I'm not aware that this happens as often as you seem to think it does. I also think that judging others based on your ex-husband's behavior is not fair to the scores of parents who try to be good parents. A typical visitation schedule of one evening a week and every other weekend means that it can be challenging for the noncustodial parent to develop a close relation- ship, especially as they get older. Intimacy is built not only through special occasions, but sheer quantity time spent together performing the mundane tasks of life in a family — going to the supermarket and school events, preparing din- ner and cleaning up. It is challenging to build up an intimate family life on a visitation schedule. It is also best for children if the custodial parent does everything possible to assist the non-custodial parent in building a relationship. Obviously, your ex- husband has done a very poor job, and I'm sorry that your children long for a relationship they can't have. DEAR AMY » I'd like to of- fer a practical suggestion for "Struggling Artist," who is trying to establish herself, post-college. This artist should take a business course at her local community college. Freelancers need to real- ize that they are really setting up a business for themselves, and all the rules that apply to other entrepreneurs also apply to them. — Been There DEAR BEEN THERE » Excel- lent advice for artists, mu- sicians and writers — or anyone in a creative field. I wish I had done this my- self earlier in my career. Reader wonders why parents with visitation fade away You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Aquarius(Jan.20-Feb. 19) — If you reconnect with someone from your past, an op- portunity will present itself. It's time for a new beginning. Aim for progress in all aspects of life. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Focus on helping others. Seek out individuals who can make whatever project you are work- ing on better. Make romance a priority and celebrate life. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Leave the past behind you and focus on building a stronger and better future. Bring about prac- tical changes that will encour- age stability and future security. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Take on more responsibilities and prove to others what you are capable of doing. Romance is highlighted. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — You should take care of your interests, not someone else's. It's important not to fall behind or to let anyone take advantage of your generosity. Keep your life in perspective. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You should make positive changes that will add comfort and joy to your home. An impor- tant partnership can be taken to the next level if you share your feelings. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Preparation will be necessary if you want to achieve your goal. Put extra effort into physical improvements if you want to feel confident enough to engage in a challenge. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You will attract positive atten- tion if you use your attributes to help others and are open and receptive to new ideas and projects. Romance will improve your life. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Don't be too quick to share your thoughts or feelings. Someone will use your words against you, making your life difficult. Work on yourself instead of trying to change others. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Take a break and make plans to do something fun with a loved one. A short vacation or just lazing around and discuss- ing plans for the future will result in personal gains. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Take time to rummage through your possessions and donate things you no longer need. Your kindness will be appreciated, and the space you make at home can be put to better use. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You'll be in the spotlight. Everyone will want to know what you think. An opportunity will arise if you get together with people from your past. Horoscope By Eugenia Last SATURDAY, FEB. 6 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2016 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B