Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/574510
SEPTEMBER 23-29, 2015 UCW 53 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Do I Look Infatuated in This? Is there anything inherently bad about getting into a serious relationship quickly? I met this guy about a month ago. We hit it off instantly, became boyfriend and girlfriend two weeks later, and have been dropping I-love-yous. It all feels pretty great; I don't have a history of poor relationship judgment; and I wasn't desperate or even looking for a new partner. However, popular opinion seems to run against getting involved so fast. Your thoughts? — Speedy There are three stages of love: the "falling in it" stage, the "figuring out how it'll work" stage, and finally, the "you're the one!" commitment stage. You're in the starting days of the "falling in it" stage — getting hit by rushing hormones and neurotransmitters — which is to say that you're chemically dazed. Which is to say that making any sort of decision about what you two have is like getting really high and going off to sign papers for a bank loan. In fact, according to research by psychiatry professor Donatella Marazziti, it's likely that right now, you and this guy are each chemically different people — and thus behaviorally different people — than you will be once the chemical storm dies down. Marazziti found significant shifts in testosterone levels in both men and women who'd recently fallen in love. Compared with single people and people who'd been in relationships awhile, women newly in love had elevated testosterone, likely making them more sexually tigress-y, while the T levels of men newly in love dropped, likely making them more gooey and emotional -- to the point where even a Navy SEAL might start sounding like a Valentine's Day card. How long the biochemical inebriation lasts varies, but Marazziti's research suggests that couples are pretty much out of the falling in love daze a year to two years later. It's only then — once you sober up — that you find out what you actually have together. The kind of love that sticks around is not just a feeling but a feeling that inspires loving action. As novelist Marlon James, quoting a former lover, put it: "Love isn't saying 'I love you' but calling to say, 'Did you eat?'" Love that lasts should also inspire a sort of loving inaction — loving the person enough that you don't hate them for all the ways they turn out to be a total idiot: how they can't seem to understand that pee goes in the big white porcelain thing, not on the floor; that those gross phlegm-clearing sounds are not a mating call; and that socks left on the bedroom rug will not grow tiny legs, crawl up the hamper, and fling themselves in. Copyright AMY ALKON WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The Federal Aviation Administration recently granted (likely for the first time ever) an application to fly a paper airplane. Prominent drone advocate Peter Sachs had applied to conduct commercial aerial photography with his "aircraft" (a Tailor Toys model with a tiny propeller and maximum range of 180 feet), and the agency, concerned with air traffic safety, accommodated by treating the request (unironically?) under the rules for manned flights (that, among other restrictions, Sachs must not exceed 100 mph and must engage a licensed airplane pilot to fly it). "With this grant," said the "victorious" Sachs, "the FAA has abandoned all logic and sensibility." [Forbes.com, 8-27- 2015; Popular Science, 8-31-2015] Questionable Judgments Because temperatures were in the high 90s the last weekend in August, tourists visiting the historical Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland were greeted by the outdoor sprinkler system dousing them near the gates. It was intended as relief, said operators, to keep guests from fainting, but, as one Israeli visitor said, "It was a punch to the gut" -- too reminiscent of Auschwitz's gas chamber. (Jewish prisoners had been marched calmly to their deaths under the pretense that they were only being taken for showers.) [Ynet News (Tel Aviv), 8-31-2015] DIY dentistry seemed off-limits — until amateur orthodontia got a boost from a 2012 YouTube video in which Shalom DeSota, now 17, praised rubber bands for teeth- straightening. DeSota's family lacked dental insurance at the time, so the would-be actress experimented by looping rubber bands around two front teeth she wanted to draw together. Many painful days later, she succeeded. The American Association of Orthodontists expressed alarm in August at the video's recent popularity. So much could go wrong -- infection, gum-tearing, detachment between tooth and gums — that DeSota, the organization said, had simply been lucky. [Today.com, 8-17- 2015] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Hasty reactions can lead to unnecessary problems, Aries. Instead of making assumptions, wait until you get a clear picture before you come to any conclusions this week. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, others are impressed with your analysis and ability to get the job done at work. Don't be surprised if you soon find yourself in line for a promotion. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 There is nothing wrong with trying to make special moments last as long as they can, Gemini. If you want to linger over a romantic dinner or keep the party going, do so. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Try to find a balance between your need for connection and a desire to be alone, Cancer. This week you may have to do some juggling, but it is nothing you can't handle. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you may feel free and adaptable right now, but in reality your plans are much more fixed. You may not want to stray too far from what's expected. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, the depth of your feelings this week may come as a surprise to you. Everything makes you feel a bit more emotional than usual. It is okay to spend some time in thought. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, your mood begins to lift as you find many reasons to celebrate this week. The simplest things can bring you happiness. Don't forget to share joy with others. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, you can't quite figure out if you are happy or sad, because each new opportunity seems like an emotional roller coaster. Enjoy the ride and appreciate the good times. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, you can appreciate all the little details that come with tasks this week. You may see things that others don't because you are paying extra attention to your surroundings. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Right now you aren't very happy about having to deal with someone who isn't always honest with you, Capricorn. Just maintain a neutral attitude and you will find happiness. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, you appreciate all the positive feelings coming your way, especially in a week as challenging as this one. Make the most of all of the positive vibes. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, you may have a hard time distinguishing between fantasy and reality the next few days. But enjoy the extra time to daydream. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard