Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/651000
MARCH 9-15, 2016 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Having the Time of Someone Else's Life I'm a 39-year-old guy, and I just met the most amazing woman, but she's going through a divorce. My best friend said to never date somebody while they're divorcing, because they're crazy and emotionally unavailable. He says you need to wait for two years afterward. Well, I really like this woman, and she likes me. If I dated her now, would I just be a rebound? — Bad Waiter There are clues to where on the divorce spectrum someone falls, like whether she makes offhand remarks along the lines of "I wish him well, but we weren't a good match" or "I wish I could leave him tied up in a clearing so something would eat him." There is something to be said for waiting periods, whether you're mentally ill and shopping for an Uzi or hoping to live happily ever after with someone who might not be entirely recovered from her previous attempt. But the blanket "wait two years!" advice is silly and probably comes out of a misconstruing of some research finding. (Also, as an epidemiologist friend frequently points out to me, these findings tell us how something seems to affect most people; however, there are important individual differences that get lost … like that tiny line about potential side effects: "Oh, by the way, 1 percent of the subjects ended up wearing all their teeth on a necklace.") Still, unless this woman and her not-quite-ex-husband got married a few months ago because they were super- drunk and standing near each other in Vegas, there's a chance she'll believe she's ready to get involved before she actually is. Whether it makes sense to date her now becomes a question of risk analysis. Plug in the variables you know, like the ugliness level of her divorce, whether she starts every other sentence with "my ex…", and whether she seems to understand were she went wrong (and take responsibility for her part in it). Factor in her fabulousness and your level of risk tolerance — how willing and able you are to deal if, a year in, she apologizes after realizing that she just needed a nice man to put Band-Aids on her ouchies. Even if it seems unwise to date her right now, you can keep a foot in the game by seeing her regularly — like once a month — while keeping the temperature on low. Stick to daytime dates — short, bright light, no alcohol — and use abstinence- only measures that have been found to be highly effective, such as wearing Green Lantern Underoos. (As a bonus, these would double as incentive to avoid texting while driving and ending up the talk of the ambulance bay for two weeks.) Copyght Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Longtime National Symphony cellist David Teie announced in November that his crowdfunding project was hugely successful, freeing him to produce an album of music meaningful to cats. (Cats, for example, relax in response to the earliest sound of their mother's purring, which Teie clocked at 23 harp notes a second.) Teie's work, according to an October Washington Post feature, includes examining waveforms of real-time purrs and creating an organ sound to mimic the opening and closing of a cat's vocal chords. His KickStarter pitch raised so much money that he might also try creating music for bored zoo elephants or stressed- out whales. In tests, cats responded well to Teie's music, according to a 2015 journal article (but with less curiosity at the Washington cat cafe Crumbs & Whiskers). [Washington Post, 10-18- 2015, 11-29-2015] Leading Economic Indicators Amazon.com has riled up Buddhist temples in Japan, according to a January Associated Press dispatch, by offering traveling monks rentable online to conduct funerals and other rituals. The monk would go to a home, grave or funeral home, at fees and upgrades ranging from the equivalent of $300 to about $8,500. (Many of Japan's 75,000 Buddhist temples are struggling financially and destined to close. Complained a spokesman for the Japan Buddhist Association, what Amazon is facilitating "is allowed in no other country in the world.") [Associated Press, 1-30-2016] In February, Gawker.com introduced the semi-serious Lube Crude Index as a poignant indicator of how far the price of oil has fallen. Comparing the world price of a standard 42-gallon barrel of crude (about $31) with that of a 55-gallon barrel of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant (retailing as, when packaged in smaller quantities, a sexual aid) shows that "sex lube" is more valuable than crude oil by a factor of 28 — a barrel's worth of the lube recently priced at $1,175 versus crude's barrel-adjusted $41. As recently as June 2014, the Lube Crude Index was near 1. (Gawker reported that only two actual barrels of Passion Natural could be found and that the price would likely rise further if one of them were sold.) [Gawker. com, 2-3-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Without your knowledge, you have made it to the top of a very influential person's list. This can only mean good things for your future, Aries. Be proud of yourself. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Friends and family who seem meddlesome may have more noble motives, Taurus. Give these loved ones the benefit of the doubt and be glad they care so much. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, a big project means you will be working with others in the week ahead. Put your best foot forward and be receptive of others' ideas and suggestions. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you are full of energy this week, but for whatever reason you are still holding back. Don't be afraid to unleash that energy and get to work. Others will be impressed. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Mull an invitation before responding this week, Leo. You can find both pros and cons to accepting the invitation, and taking the time to consider it will ensure you make the right call. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, a healthy sense of ambition will move a project along much more quickly than you or others had imagined. Once the work is done, you'll have plenty of time to relax. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 A person from your past may come into your life, Libra. He or she stirs up old emotions, and you may need to take a step back in a current relationship. Think things over carefully. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, your ambition is growing, but you are already beginning to feel overwhelmed. You may need to put the brakes on any new endeavors for a little while. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Any business transactions you make this week can have a lasting effect on your financial status, Sagittarius. This means carefully considering every purchase. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, expenses are piling up, and soon your stress levels may be rising as a result. You can use a dose of good news, and it's coming this week. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Someone is rubbing you the wrong way, Aquarius. Just walk away and don't let this person get under your skin. Taking the high road will serve you best in the long run. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, the week ahead is full of promise. Your energy levels are soaring, and you are poised to meet new people and make things happen. Amy Alkon Log on. Plan a getaway. Let yourself unplug. a we b s ite to ta ke yo u to pl a c e s wh e re th e re a re n o we b s ite s . NC Tourism_Ad Layouts_4C_NEWS_9.88x10_FINAL.indd 3 6/4/14 4:45 PM