Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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MARCH 9-15, 2016 UCW 25 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM CHRONIC MIGRAINE? Dr. J. Wayne Riggins, Dr. Sheel Patel, Dr. Raz Penmatcha, Dr. Cynthia Toth Dr. Lejla Vajzovic , Dr. Shelby Stephenson, Dr. Edward Kenshock, Jr. Dr. John Krempecki, Dr. Duy Lam www.CapeFearEye.com 910.484.2284 Schedule a consultation today with one of our Eye Care Specialists and see if BOTOX ® Therapy is Right for You. If you suffer from 15 or more headache days a month lasting 4 hours or more, Cape Fear Eye Associates is now offering Treatment Options for Chronic Migraine. Providing Care to Fayetteville and surrounding areas for over 28 + years Appointments call Don't miss this exciting opportunity to PROMOTE & SHOWCASE your summertime Camps/Programs & Activities to over 82,000 children, parents and teachers in Fayetteville, Ft. Bragg and Cumberland & Hoke Counties! Contact bill@kidsvillenews.com or call 910-484-6200 • Fax: 910-484-9218 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Local Summer Camp Edition. April, May, June & July! Truman Zoolander 2 (102 minutes) was a series of poor choices. It takes a joke that was barely funny enough to work for five minutes of sketch comedy and, if you include the original and the sequel, tries to generate more than three hours' worth of laughter. Zoolander wants the audience to laugh because models are dumb, but instead makes the audience cry because the movie is even dumber than the models of whom it is making fun. I didn't expect to enjoy the film very much, but I didn't anticipate feeling so much disgust as the end credits rolled either. Ben Stiller is married to Christine Taylor, who co-starred in the first film. I imagine she's been humoring him over the dinner table for the last 10 years or so. He would bring up the idea of a sequel and she would nod encouragingly, and tell him what a great idea he had, confident that it would never get made. Then one day, it finally started to happen, and she had to sit him down and gently tell him what a dud it was going to be. I figure that's the only reason she appeared in a cameo. Even though she knew she was right, she felt so bad about the ensuing argument she agreed to appear brief ly. The film opens with Justin Bieber, in what my husband suggested would ultimately be the best scene in the movie. Sadly, I think he just may have been right. Bieber is chased down a random European street to Sting's house. I'd imagine roughly 60 percent of the target audience has no idea who Sting is, and the other 40 percent don't care, so let's just file all Sting- related jokes in the Falls Flat file. Because remember when Sting got all that publicity for saying he could have sex for 10 hours straight due to whatever hippy dippy nonsense the celebrity world was into that week? Of course you don't, which is exactly the point. Ten years ago, the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good, Too collapsed, killing Matilda (Taylor) and indirectly bringing their son Derek Jr. to the attention of Child Protective Services. Derek went into hiding soon after. The scene shifts to the Interpol Fashion division. Valentina Valencia (Penelope Cruz) is reviewing social media footage of Bieber alongside some other singers who were last popular at least 10 years ago. She believes they all posted Derek Zoolander's trademark "Blue Steel" to their FaceInstaGram accounts and begins trying to track him down. Present day. The bloated, pasty body of the man who used to be Billy Zane finds Derek and Hansel (Owen Wilson) and sends them to a Portlandia skit in order to participate in a hot new fashion show. The plot holes mount as Mugatu (Will Ferrell) gets shoehorned into the story, right before the entire thing collapses in on itself like the Hollywood vanity project black hole that it is. Honestly, save yourself the time, and the pain of imagining how many Botox shots the lead actors probably self-injected, and just use two screens to watch The Da Vinci Code and the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show simultaneously. I guarantee you'll get a lot more enjoyment that way. Now playing at Patriot 14 + IMA X. The Joke's Not Funny Anymore Zoolander 2 (Rated R) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@ upandcomingweekly.com. 910.484.6200.