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Justsitrightbackandyou'll endure a tale... September 26 marks the 50th anniversary of the classic TV sitcom "Gilligan's Island." People exclaim, "You're making me feel old" when I tell them that. Gee, Skipper, I would have thought it had something to do with your shiny dome, extra chins and smoker's cough. Silly me, huh? Yes, time flies. For five de- cades red-blooded American males have debated the "Gin- ger or Mary Ann?" dilemma. Now for those of us old enough to remember the show's orig- inal network run (1964-1967), the answer is most likely "Who's hottest? Depends. Who can get me coupons for or- thotic insoles and prostate medicine?" I used to enjoy "Gilligan's Is- land" with my late father (al- though it was a misquote, we shared a family phrase of "Meanwhile, on another is- land..."), and my son Gideon has now seen all the episodes (plus the 1978 TV movie "Res- cue From Gilligan's Island"). The show can bring the gen- erations together, but in other ways there is a clear dividing line. My generation wondered how those castaways could survive typhoons, volcanoes and headhunters. Now people ask, "Seven white heterosexual characters? How did they ever survive the series development process?" I couldn't get Gideon to ar- ticulate the appeal of "Gilli- gan's Island," but I suspect that it's just that it's good, goofy, wholesome escapist fare with likable characters. And it's easy to get up to speed. Each week the sinfully-long- by-current-standards theme song told the audience every- thing they needed to know about the show's premise. Now if you want to bone up on a show's premise, you have to check the public restroom walls. Of course not everyone ap- preciates the theme song. Homesick soldiers wince at certain parts of it and mutter, "A three hour tour? A three hour tour? That's what the re- cruiter promised me." Also, "Gilligan's Island" was ahead of its time. It preceded reality shows such as "Survi- vor," paved the way for come- dies featuring nontraditional families and with lines such as "no lights, no phones, no mo- torcars, not a single luxury," it prophesied the current plight of people with student loan ob- ligations. I understand that Warner Bros. is developing a theatrical movie of "Gilligan's Island." I hope they can keep it sweetly nostalgic and not update it too much. Otherwise we'll have storylines such as these: Wealthy industrialist Thur- ston Howell III suffers from insomnia, until he has an epiphany. "Egad, Lovey! No wonder I can't sleep. I just re- membered I have the Supreme Court in my jammies pocket." The Professor has second thoughts about being a scien- tist, when faced with deniers. He announces an ingenious method of escaping from the island and is met with shouts of "Islands do not exist!" Hijinks do not ensue, as the characters are tipped off by books such as "The Com- plete Idiot's Guide To Items Floating In The Lagoon" and"Refraining From Trust- ing Visitors To Tell The World Where You Are For Dummies." All work on the island ceases as castaways stand in line to get the new iHam- mock 6. The Skipper advises Gilli- gan, "Little buddy, don't you think you should open the co- conuts before having them baked in coconut cream pie? Oh, I wish we had brought the raft and left the medical mari- juana back in Honolulu." Sigh. If not for the courage of the fearless fans, the Min- now would be lost... DannyTyreewelcomes reader e-mail responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page Tyree's DannyTyree Gilligan's Island turns 50 Cartoonist's take The headline above refers to the film of the same name, but also to the long awaited instal- lation of the original bell from the tower of the late Cone & Kim- ble Building at the corner of Main and Walnut. The "book" of the headline re- fers to bets on whether the bell, after a year's dis- cussion and go-aheads, will ever be installed. The "candle" re- fers to whether it has been burn- ing in the minds of those in- volved in the hopes of the project coming to fruition. The "bell," of course, is the large ringer cast on the east coast that hung in the magnificent tower for nearly 100 years until the building was de- stroyed by fire. Why is it important to display it after all these years? There is nothing left of the original C & K building ex- cept the bell. There may be a few bricks salvaged and distrib- uted to local admirers of the old beauty, but that's about it. Even the magnificent tower reproduc- tion does not indicate what once adorned this main intersection of town. I had once proposed a mu- ral on the wall to the south of the plaza that was approved by the wall owner. But this pro- posal was shot down by V. Phil- brick who headed up the C & K restoration committee at the time. I had even offered to fund the mural myself and displayed for the group an artist concept of what it would depict for ben- efit of new comers to Red Bluff, but to no avail. Despite her lack of foresight, we now have one more shot at telling onlookers what was once the retail pride of our fair city. A new brick foundation for the bell is now in place cour- tesy of Glen Phelps, and the bell has been suspended above the bricks by Triple D's Metal Fabri- cation. Hopefully the accompa- nying plaque will soon follow. It includes a photo of the building and the inscription "This bell, cast in 1866, once adorned the clock tower of the magnificent Cone & Kimball Building, which was the center of commerce in Red Bluff for nearly 100 years until destroyed by fire in 1984." ••• Good to see the Paskenta Band of the Nomlaki Indian Tribe inter fighting has ceased and that it can get back to nor- mal, which is making money via its casino. It is probably too judgmental to suggest that cer- tain members were corrupted by easy money. The lifestyle of ousted members of the govern- ing council indicates they were not used to such largesse and were not equipped to deal with it in prudent fashion. It could happen to anyone, but as it happened to an Indian tribe it could make those not so blessed shake their heads in disbelief. ••• Minnesota running back Adrian Peterson is accused of child abuse for hitting his 4-year-old son with a switch. My mother used a coat hanger on my behind, but I did not press charges, for I deserved it. ••• With the ISIS situation in Iraq and the beheading of Ameri- can captives, our President is on the horns of a dilemma. Polls indicate people in the U.S. do not want any more wars — that these warring factions should settle matters amongst them- selves. In fact we should become an isolationist country and stay the hell out of any more foreign entanglement. Those in favor of going in with air strikes are en- amored with our military might, and yet our country has not re- ally won a war since WWII. But then most of our Presidents have had to deal with our country in conflicts since its conception. Sources say only 17 out of 44 did not have to deal with a shooting war. Does that suggest we are a war monger? No, not on the face of it, but we do tend to butt into other countries' problems under the cover of national interest or national security. ••• Regarding the Giants vs. Dodgers games last weekend, in the first game of the series, we were delighted that the Giants manhandled their rivals 9-0. However, in the next day game, they pummeled the Giants 17-O. How can this be? Turning to ri- valry expert Joe Konte, we learn that this was not the greatest margin of victory between the two teams. In 1944, the Giants won 26-8. The Dodgers walked 17 Giants players and gave up 18 hits in that game. The final game of last week's series was won by the hated Dodgers in a close encounter 4-2, which indicates, with supe- rior pitching the next time we face them, we might still prevail and win the Western Division. ••• Quotes to live with: "The pur- pose of all major religious tra- ditions is not to construct big temples on the outside, but to create goodness and compas- sion inside, in our hearts," Ten- zin Gyatso 14th Dali Lama. "There's something in ev- ery atheist itching to believe and something in every be- liever, itching to doubt," Mignon McLaughlin. "Religion enables us to ignore nothingness and get on with the job of life," John Updike. "Religion without the element of mystery would not be a reli- gion at all," Edwin Lewis. "It is doubtless true that re- ligion has been the world's psy- chiatrist throughout the centu- ries," Karl Menninger. And the best one, "All reli- gions are the same: Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays," Cathy Ladman. ••• Lead story in the Sunday En- terprise Record is accompanied with a photo of an idiot with a large anaconda snake encir- cling his neck. I hope the smil- ing owner does not leave little children alone in his house with his pet. News stories have veri- fied the lack of wisdom in such decisions. I suggest he trade the snake in for a large fern instead. ••• Worth a repeat. Isaac was knocked down by a car. A paramedic loaded him into an ambulance and inquired anxiously, "Are you comfort- able?" "I make a good living," Isaac replied. Robert Minch is a lifelong res- ident of Red Bluff, former col- umnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmur- ray@hotmail.com. I say Bell Book and Candle at the Cone & Kimble My generation wondered how those castaways could survive typhoons, volcanoes and headhunters. Now people ask, "Seven white heterosexual characters? How did they ever survive the series development process?" Sounding off Alookatwhatreadersaresayingincommentsonourwebsiteandonsocialmedia. WaytoohotinJuly.Itwasmiserable.Alot of the rides were too hot to even touch. Shannon Stone: On proposal to move Tehama District Fair from September to July I would love to see it anytime before school is back in session so the kids don't have to be out. Hope it moves back to a better date. Jennifer Meeder: On proposal to move Tehama District Fair from September to July Greg Stevens, Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIAL BOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@red bluffdailynews.com Phone: 530-527- 2151ext. 112 Mail to: P.O. Box 220, 545 Diamond Ave., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS Robert Minch September is a grand month for traditions. It is also when we welcome our elected repre- sentatives back from the gru- eling recess they are forced to spend fund- raising in their home districts. We here at Durstco have always been cu- rious as to exactly what it is that our country's top polticos do to recharge for this stretch run. How do they recline and unwind? And now that this piece is finally set up, it is with great pride, that we share the results of our exhaustive in- vestigative research and reveal for the very first time: How They Spent Their Summer Va- cation. - Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell learned how to say "No!" in 14 different lan- guages. - Vice President Joe Biden journeyed to a clinic in Swit- zerland for a charisma im- plant, which alas, didn't take. - Florida Senator Marco Ru- bio held a series of mock de- bates with himself on the sub- ject of immigration and lost every single one. - President Barack Obama traded his foreign policy leg- acy for the chance to lower his handicap by a stroke. - Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan binge watched all 6 seasons of Breaking Bad. - Arizona Senator John Mc- Cain accepted the Curmud- geon Society of America's "Man of the Year Award." For the 12th consecutive time. - Secretary of State John Kerry wept like a little baby. - The 4 Conservative Jus- tices of the Supreme Court battled the 4 Liberal Justices on the Supreme Court for the soul of Anthony Kennedy. - Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton took remedial hugging lessons while surrep- titiously measuring the White House drapes. - Michele Bachmann re- hearsed a Republican presi- dential nomination acceptance speech - Speaker of the House John Boehner caught some bitchin' rays. - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid came up with a list of 48 ways to trick the GOP into shutting down the gov- ernment. Again. - Chris Christie won a "Silly Donkey" trophy for losing 1.7 pounds after 3 weeks at Gor- don Ramsey's Hell Camp for Fatties. Will Durst can be reached at durst@caglecartoons.com. WILL DURST How they spent their vacation OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Friday, September 19, 2014 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A4