Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/418071
NOVEMBER 19-25, 2014 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Scoot Force My husband's been saving for a motor- cycle, and I was excited about riding on the back, hanging on to him — sexy and fun! But then he came home with a Vespa, the little Italian scooter. It just seems so girly. The tiny wheels make it look like a toy, and he's a big guy, so it looks like he's borrowed a little kid's bike. How can I get him to take it back? — Disappointed Men who ride Vespas and other scooters will tell you that they are secure enough in their masculinity that they don't need their transportation to be all hairy-chested and gladiating. But the reality is, image matters, especially a wife's image of her husband. And motorcycles are iconically manly and badass, while Vespas are…well, it's the imagery of Hells Angels, Easy Rider, and The Wild Bunch versus the My Little Pony of ground transportation. Your husband wasn't wrong to want a Vespa. But he isn't a bachelor anymore, so he shouldn't be mak- ing major financial decisions like a guy who's still eating cold cereal over a toilet. Not even when he's spending his own money. It isn't that he should ask your permission. (You're his wife, not his mommy.) He just needs to r emember that he's in a partnership and act like it — consult you on major purchases and decisions and make sure you fully understand what he is (and, by extension, you are) getting into. Sometimes, you may not agree with some course of action, and he may still decide to go through with it. But asking for your feedback will at least make you feel respected and part of the process. And it's essential in heading off problems — like being a big bruiser of a guy spending thousands on a vehicle sized for Italian slicksters who subsist on olive oil and cigarette smoke. As "not his mommy," you don't get to tell him to trade in the horsiepower for horsepower. Instead, tell him there's a problem, and lay it on the table for the two of you to take apart and solve together. This requires making compromise your collective goal (though this may be more successful in spirit than in practice). Can you, for example, think a little more, uh, ex- pansively about masculinity? Realistically, maybe not. Would he consider returning the bike, or would that be too huge of a financial haircut? Or … is there some solution that works a bit for both of you, like his renting a bike on some weekends — the kind that looks like it runs on gas, not rainbows and unicorn farts? At the very least, L'affaire Vespa could serve as a reminder to take a more part- nered approach to both conflict resolution and impending major purchases —before you get all excited about his new sports car and he drives up with the sport package … in the mom jeans of motor vehicles, the minivan. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Amanda Collins, 28, took "beauty pageant mom" to the next level (down) earlier this year when she entered her daughter Luna in Britain's UK Princess and Prince International — based entirely on Luna's ultrasound scan at age 20 weeks. Said Collins, "As soon as I saw her image on the screen ... I knew she was a stunner." Contest officials had accepted the scan application, and six weeks after birth, Luna was named runner-up in the Princess and Prince, and on top of that, four weeks later, runner-up in Miss Dreams UK. "All she has to do," said Collins, "is lie in my arms and smile as I stroll down the catwalk." [Daily Mail (London), 10-26-2014] Recurring Themes In September, at the annual 10- day Phuket Vegetarian Festival in Thailand (ostensibly promoting abstinence from eating meat), dozens of men pierced and sliced their mouths, cheeks and arms in religious devotion in a spectacle which, though blood-drenched, was supposedly free of pain (and subsequent scars) because the fanatics were in God-imposed trances. The display supposedly brings "good health, peace of mind and spiritual cleansing," and includes walking on hot coals and climbing blade-embedded ladders (both barefoot, of course), all to the accompaniment of fireworks and the ear-shattering pounding of drums.[Huffington Post UK, 9-29- 2014] Brad Culpepper played defensive tackle for nine NFL seasons and, not surprisingly, applied for disability when he retired, since his medical folder listed 14 MRIs, head and knee trauma and neurological and vision problems — which resulted in doctors declaring him "89 percent" disabled and the Fairmont Premier insurance company giving him a $175,000 settlement. Fairmont sued recently to get its money back, claiming that Culpepper is, and was, "exquisitely fit," as evidenced by a September 2013 Tampa Bay Times feature on his gym workouts, and in his having earned a martial-arts Black Belt, and in his participation for 14 days in the grueling TV series Survivor: Blood vs. Water in 2013. ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Put your vitality and conspicuous nature to good use, Aries. Volunteer for a cause or donate your time to a worthy organization. Expect others to follow your lead. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Now is not the time to keep your feelings under wraps, Taurus. If you have an opinion, share it. Fortunately there are plenty of people willing to lend you an ear. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Being hot then cold is sometimes the Gemini way. Shifting feelings and being mercurial is just how you're made, and those who call you friend will have to adapt. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you are full of ideas this week and you can put them to good use by being as vocal as you can at work. Suggest a brainstorming session with other employees. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, be genuine and speak from the heart this week. Your compassion for other people's feelings will help a dear friend who will be grateful and appreciative of your kindness. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Do not judge a book by its cover, Virgo. That person you have been checking out is entirely different from what you first imagined. It's time to delve deeper. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 The element of surprise can work well for your love life this week, Libra. Do something unexpected, and you and your significant other will be happy with the results. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, make some changes to your fitness routine this week so you don't find yourself in a fitness funk. Switch the yoga mat for some cardio and vice versa. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, if you are feeling a bit bored by your relationship, take the initiative to stir things up a bit. Go to a concert or plan a short jaunt to a tropical locale. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Someone you know may have gotten in over his or her head and can probably use your help right now, Capricorn. Help this person come up with some solutions to the problem. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, shake up your routine and you may be surprised by how much you enjoy the changes. In fact, you just may look at everything from an entirely new perspective. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, though you cannot afford that especially pricey treat you've had your eyes on, you can afford something a little more modest. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard