Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/288180
APRIL 2-8, 2014 UCW 5 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM My mother's heart breaks every time I hear or read a story about bullying. When I see the deep pain and rejection in the eyes of children on the receiving end of such cruelty, a part of me dies a little. I know the scars of bullying will be there forever. I also grieve for the parents of those bullied who are suffering for the children they love and cannot protect. Many of them report bullying behavior to various authorities with, sad to say, various results and, sometimes, no results at all. And most tragic of all bullied children who try and perhaps succeed in stopping the bullying by ending their own lives. No child should die this way and no parent should be left behind to bear it. It is in that context that I have begun to read recently about parents whose chart- topping frustration levels have led them to take on the bullies themselves. Take for example Chris Eichele, just up the road in Cameron in Harnett County. After a school year filled with taunting, hitting and hand sanitizer smeared into his stepson's eyes, Eichele had had enough. His reports to Harnett County school officials and then to the Harnett County Sheriff's Department did not stop the bullying of middle-schooler Josh, so a hopping-mad Eichele marched himself to the school bus stop and waited. The "We'll take care of its" simply had not. I want to draw a mental picture of this. As somewhat of a Tiger Mom myself when the Precious Jewels were younger, I occasionally took my 5'5" plump 1XX pound self to see a teacher or a principal both with and without a Jewel in tow. But whatever those educators must have thought, I was certainly not the imposing figure Chris Eichele had to have been to those on the big yellow bus. News accounts describe Eichele as 6'4" and 300 pounds, sporting impressive tattoos and some facial piercings, a sight certain to grab the attention of middle- schoolers and anyone else on that bus. Eichele stepped aboard, gave the bus driver who had piloted the big vehicle obliviously or at least callously while torment rained down on Josh a big piece of his mind, and then lit into the students. After this frustrated and angry parent — shall we say, "shared his thoughts," there was little doubt who the bulliers would be dealing with if they continued to go after Josh. Instead of reversing the situation, Eichele found himself charged with two misdemeanors, trespassing/impeding a school bus and communicating threats, all because he could get no response to his complaints about ongoing mistreatment of his stepson. Let us travel in our minds to northern California where another father has taken a different tack in an attempt to protect his 9-year-old son. Stephen Feuder filed a restraining order against the offending grade-schooler who punched his son in the face. Feuder told news outlets that he had no choice but to go to court for a legal remedy used most often in domestic violence cases, because school authorities refused to deal with the situation. Are you seeing the common thread here? Parents attempt to take their concerns through the normal and expected channels and, for whatever reasons, are thwarted. Harnett County school officials say they did suspend several students over Josh's bullying, but no one bothered to inform Eichele, so he had no clue, especially since the bullying continued anyway. Harnett County law enforcement said their hands were tied since they did not witness the bullying. Maybe they should get backpacks and go for a few rides themselves. Feuder says he is just as frustrated as ever since the restraining order must be served on the student to take effect, and the school refuses to release the name and address of the bully because of privacy laws. There has got to be a better way. In this day and age, privacy is an issue, especially for minors whose parents naturally want to protect them. But for Eichele to be kept in the dark after Josh's tormentors had been punished, ineffectively as it turns out probably since no one knew about it, strikes me as wrong. As for Feuder's legal tactic, the law always moves more slowly than society in general, but it is past time for the law to catch up in this area. A post from a reader on the Feuder story says this mother had an uncooperative school administrator subpoenaed to appear in court, and that finally did the trick. Eichele, Feuder, and countless other parents have acted out of love and deep frustration about what was happening to their children without apparent action on the parts of those in charge. School administrators must find ways to deal with bullying far more effectively than they can and do now, and they — and we — must demand the legal tools to do so from the General Assembly. And, I have to say it. I hope Chris Eichele is never distressed enough with me to appear at the front door of chez Dickson! Put Your Dukes Up, Big Boy by MARGARET DICKSON MARGARET DICKSON, Contributing Writer, COMMENTS? Editor@upandcom- ingweekly.com.. 910.484.6200. THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET Contest&RequestLine: 910-764-1073 www.christian107.com KeepingtheMainThing...theMainThing. visitusonline FocusontheFamily 20Countdown Magazine Adventures in Odyssey Serving Fayetteville Over 50 Years! EASTER SUNDAY SPECIALS starting at $6.99 Easter Sunday Serving: 7 a.m. - 3 p.m. 484-0261 1304 Morganton Rd. Homemade Desserts Fresh Seafood Hand Cut Steaks Italian & Greek Children's Menu Bullying is a problem in schools across the country.