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Tuesday, January 25, 2011 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Finicky fiance frustrates fellow Dear Annie: I come from an extremely dysfunc- tional family. I am 50 years old and have been estranged from my family since I was 31. I do not miss them and have no desire for contact. I’ve had only a few long- term relationships in my life. I am currently cohabit- ing with a 52-year-old man who had never been in a relationship before me. For the first two years, he was wonderful, but when I pressed for marriage, he backed away. He knew I was interested in a private ceremony because of my family estrangement, and he agreed with me. But when he finally pro- posed, he objected to the small cer- emony and put off the wedding. I know he really does not want to marry me, although I suspect he would have gone through with it to please me if I had been more flexi- ble. But I did not want to give in and threatened to leave. We did not speak for a week, and then he called his mother and told her everything, including my wish for a private cer- emony. He also told her many things I had said when we were arguing, including that I wish I had never met him. I asked him to come with me for counseling, but he refused, saying he doesn’t want anyone knowing his business. Yet he thinks it’s OK to share ‘‘his business’’ with his highly biased mother. Because of all the things he told her, I cannot be in the same room with her. He Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar sealed our fate when he brought her into our rela- tionship. We sleep in separate bed- rooms and have no physical contact. I know it’s over. Do you think I am wrong to feel violated because he confid- ed in his mother? And every time I remind him that he agreed to a private ceremo- ny, he clams up and won’t respond, which I think is extremely hostile. — Cana- da Dear Canada: Your boyfriend has made some mistakes, but noth- ing that cannot be forgiven. A mid- dle-aged man who has never had a prior relationship is probably close to Mom and would naturally turn to her for advice and solace. Your rigid reaction prevented you from under- standing his point of view. But your suggestion to get counseling is excellent, and we hope you will do so even if he refuses. Dear Annie: There has been some debate about whether bar patrons should tip a bartender if he happens to be the owner of the bar. We all are generous tippers, but many times the owner will be the bartender on duty. What is the prop- er protocol then? — Niagara Falls, N.Y. Dear Niagara: While you are not obligated to tip the owner of an establishment, it has now become a fairly common and accepted prac- tice. If you are a frequent patron of this bar, tipping would be the less awkward option. Dear Annie: This is in response to ‘‘Frustrated Mom,’’ whose daughter was being bullied. I am a teacher in Massachusetts, where we have very strict laws regarding bul- lying. Those school administrators are abdicating their responsibilities and are wrong to assume there will be an increase in the bullying if they admonish the guilty parties. That mother needs to push harder. Why haven’t the parents of the girls been called into a meeting? The adminis- tration needs to come down hard on these girls. By the way, if her daughter is receiving bullying text messages or other communications, they are harassing her, which can be a crim- inal offense. Mom should help her daughter keep a log, print commu- nications and build a case. If neces- sary, involve the police. Her daugh- ter may never win back these girls’ respect or affection, but she doesn’t have to put up with their bullying. I know from experience that the vocal pushy parents get what they want from schools. Don’t back down. — Massachusetts Teacher Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Targeting retirement Do you own a target-date mutual fund in your 401(k) plan or Individual Retire- ment Account? If you do, you should understand how target-date funds work. And if you don't own one now, you might want to consider adding one of these popular funds, which let the investment pros decide on the appropriate invest- ment allocations based on your hoped-for retirement date. You can find target-date funds at all the major mutu- al fund companies, includ- ing Vanguard, Fidelity, T. Rowe Price, American Cen- tury -- and very likely in your company retirement plan. The concept of target- date (sometimes called "lifecycle") funds is to cre- ate different funds for dif- ferent targeted retirement dates, such as 2020, 2025, 2030 or beyond. You pick the fund that most closely matches the date you hope you'll retire. Then you stick with the fund -- and keep adding to it on a regular basis -- over the years. Each target-date fund gives the investor a different mix of various stock cate- gories, along with bonds, and even more conservative money markets. Recogniz- ing that unsophisticated investors get nervous about changing their allocations, these funds are managed to become more conservative in their allocations to stock as they approach the target date, the date you've set for retirement. Even at the actual target date, these funds maintain some exposure to stocks -- because they are designed for you to take withdrawals over your period of retire- ment. So you still need some -- although a smaller amount -- of the growth that stocks provide. Target-date funds have become one of the fastest growing categories of mutu- al funds, since they were introduced about a decade ago. There is now more than $250 billion invested in them, with about 80 percent of those dollars invested through employer-spon- sored retirement plans. The big growth in target date funds came after the Labor Depart- ment ruled that companies could, and in fact should, default new employee contributions into these diversified mutual funds. They became a "safe harbor" option because these plans are designed to give investors managed exposure to the stock mar- ket. Before target date funds received this "seal of approval," many employees were defaulted into safer money market funds or the equivalent. While those funds guarded against loss of principal, they failed to give the employees a chance to grow their money over the long run for retirement. After the huge market decline in 2008, many retirement plan investors were shocked that their tar- get-date funds showed huge losses. They shouldn't have been -- if they had read the information that described how the funds work. After all, when the market has that kind of huge decline, all stocks will fall to some degree. The entire idea of a tar- get-date fund is that you'll ride it out -- not only to the targeted date, such as 2020, or 2025, or 2030 --- but even beyond during your retirement years as you take withdrawals stretched out over your lifetime. Sadly, those who mis- takenly thought that target- date funds "guaranteed" a certain level of annual per- formance rushed to the exits at just the wrong time. Many sold out in shock just as the market reached its bottom in 2009. They missed the huge rebound. So the big question has been: Do target-date fund investors really understand how these products work? The Labor Department, which governs employee Dr. Andrew PomazalD.O. Physician & Surgeon General Medicine Saturday Appointments Available • High Blood Pressure • Diabetes • Joint & Muscle Pain • Lung Problems We offer Osteopathic Manipulation 530 528-2066 2050 Main St, Red Bluff Accepting New Patients retirement plans, has pro- posed new dis- closure rules and new education retirements so that unsophisti- cated investors would under- stand the risk of loss. Now a new Vanguard study gives convincing evidence that these proposals may be unneces- sary. (Vanguard- administered retirement plans are a leader in providing target- date funds for 401(k) and 403(b) plans.) Their new survey reveals that people who actually choose a target-date fund for their own IRA have a better understanding of how these funds work than those employees who are just defaulted into a target- date plan. That's not sur- prising, because investors who are responsible for their own decisions tend to do more homework. Vanguard estimates that half of the participants in target-date funds in 2009 were simply defaulted into them as part of their employee benefits pro- gram. Even so, according to this survey, the vast majority were aware that these investments are not guaranteed and do involve risk. Nearly two-thirds understood the benefits of diversification -- but that it does not guarantee against loss. And only 8 percent of participants had the incor- rect belief that target-date funds were designed to provide a guaranteed income. Even fewer were so misinformed as to believe these funds become "risk free" at the target Terry Savage The Savage Truth on Money date. Investing is always easy in hindsight. One thing is sure: If you don't take some appropriate risk in your investments, over the long run, you will barely break even with infla- tion -- and may come out behind, after taxes. There are three ways to minimize risk in the stock market. The first is to diversify your investments. The second is to con- tinue to con- tribute to those diversified invest- ments, through the ups and downs of the markets. And the third is to take a long- term perspective. Target-date funds are designed to do just that -- grow your money in a diversified way, using the discipline of professional money management -- over the long run. As an employ- ee, all you have to do is keep your eye -- and your money -- on target! And that's The Savage Truth. Terry Savage is a registered investment adviser and is on the board of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange.She can be reached at www.terrysavage.com. Magic pill for Alzheimer’s? DEAR DR. GOTT: What is the latest information about the early- Alzheimer’s pill? How early or at what age or at what signs should it be taken? DEAR READ- ER: My guess is that you are refer- ring to Rember, what we all hope will be a breakthrough drug. It is a new formulation of meth- ylene blue, an old product. More than two years ago, British scientists reported a new drug that was designed to slow Alzheimer’s disease. The trial involved 321 people with mild to moderate Alzheimer’s in the United Kingdom and Singapore. The patients were divided into four groups, three of which took different doses of Rember, and the fourth was provided a placebo. Following testing, those in the first three groups expe- rienced an 81 percent decrease in symptoms, while those taking the placebo worsened. The drug was developed to tar- get and dissolve “tangles” in the brain that destroy nerve cells and lead to memory deterioration. While this (and other) drugs cannot reverse the devastating effects of Alzheimer’s, it appeared to stabilize it. Results suggest the drug is almost 2-1/2 times more effective than existing drugs currently on the market. Dr. Peter Gott Research remains ongoing to investigate methods of early- stage diagnosis and to determine when the tangles are first formed in the brain, perhaps when people are still in their 50s. It is hoped the drug may even be used as a preventive, but more extensive research must be conducted before we can approach that issue. Larger trials are now required to confirm the safety of the drug and to determine how far its effects can go to benefit the people living with Alzheimer’s. More than 5 million Americans are living with this disease. Up to 500,000 are under the age of 65. In 2008, more than 700,000 Britons had dementia, with the majority suffering from Alzheimer’s. In answer to your ques- tion, the drug is still in the trial stages, with more test- ing to go before it might — and I say might — become available by prescription. A major and perhaps insur- mountable concern is funding. The cost of Ari- cept for the treatment of Alzheimer’s is about $9 per pill. However, when we compare the cost of home health, nursing facil- ities and hospitalizations, the study might be on the right track. Stay tuned for news on The results of the study were presented at the Inter- national Conference on Alzheimer’s in Chicago, Ill., and have been touted as the most realistic evi- dence that a new drug can improve cognition in peo- ple with the disease. It brings new hope to both sufferers and their care- givers. A consulting psychia- trist monitored the pro- gram and indicated those on Rember were more confident and better able to cope with daily activity and didn’t experience the level of mental decline expected. The trial was a Phase 2 study that was geared toward checking the safety and efficacy of the drug. If the results of future studies are as promising as indicated in this study, the medication might be made available for prescribing. this exciting development as it evolves. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Alzheimer’s Dis- ease.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order made payable to Newsletter and mailed to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092- 0267. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspirational sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption. 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