Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/779049
GregStevens,Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIALBOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@ redbluffdailynews.com Fax: 530-527-9251 Mail to: Daily News 728Main St., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS "LaLaLand"wasabigre- cipient of Oscar Award nomina- tions this week. In some ways the activities in Washington, D.C. last week might seem like they took place in some fictional "La La Land." However, they may have pro- vided some in- sights into what the next four years might be like; all this would be humorous, but their consequences could be fright- ening. We have seen our new Presi- dent called "sniffer in chief" as he sniffed his way through what normally would have been an initial campaign speech instead of the official inaugural address. He was also called "trumpeter" and "whiner in chief." We have heard his press sec- retary deride the media esti- mates of the crowd size at that inaugural event, awkwardly im- itating a ventriloquist's dummy which only mouths the words of the person pulling the strings on his mouth. Then we heard former cam- paign manager and current counselor tell one media outlet that there were alternative facts about the size of the inaugura- tion crowd. Maybe some mem- bers of this new administration think they live in an alternative universe. Some have even suggested the Donald has proposed an of- ficial crowd counter as a mem- ber of his administration. It would be an easy job because that person could merely report what he was told to report. The hard part of the job would be keeping a straight face. Later the new President pre- tended to go "hat in hand" to the CIA to tell them how won- derful he thought they were. As you might expect people cringed at this poor act of show- manship and excellent example of false humility. Also, we heard the new leader of the free world complain that he lost the popular vote because up to 5,000,000 illegal aliens ac- tually voted against him. Go fig- ure… Well, let's actually go fig- ure. Clinton received 65,844,610 votes; if the Tweeter in Chief is correct, then about one out of 13 of her votes came from those not legally entitled to vote. If estimates are correct there are about 11 million illegal immi- grants in the United States; if half of them are over 18, then somehow, almost one hundred percent of those illegals over 18 must have voted for Clinton. Wow. Not even Putin has that kind of influence. Now there are rumors the Donald will be appointing a vote counting group to inves- tigate his apparently sincere beliefs about illegals voting. Nothing like taxpayers' money well spent, I say. Alternative facts such a study may develop might actually bring some comic relief to us, but they will bring nothing new to the table. There have been nine major ex- pensive studies in recent years about voter fraud, all of which concluded it is virtually nonex- istent. The President's definition of voter fraud includes those who are registered to vote in two states, like his daughter, Tiffany who is registered in both New York and Pennsylvania! The new President didn't take much time in declaring that federal government sta- tistics are "phony," and he will give us the true statistics… whatever he claims they are. Both his press secretary and his counselor will surely tell us what they are. On Wednesday, he pro- claimed his speech to the CIA was a home run and that he got more of an ovation than when Peyton Manning won the Su- per Bowl. He said he could tell when he gave a good speech, and he was sure of it. He is re- vealing himself as "a man who is obsessed with his own popu- larity and eager to provide ev- idence of his likability, even if that information doesn't match reality," according to one com- mentator. One wonders if the President should consult a dermatologist about the thin skin condition that makes such comments nec- essary. JoeHarropisaretired educator with more than 30 years of service to the North State. He can be reached at DrJoeHarrop@sbcglobal.net. Joe Harrop Amateurhour and alternative facts in DC He is revealing himself as "a man who is obsessed with his own popularity and eager to provide evidence of his likability, even if that information doesn't match reality," according to one commentator. Cartoonist's take As extraordinary as it sounds, Donald J. Trump is now the 45th President of the United States. It's mind-bog- gling. Like making John Goodman the cover model for this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Kim Kardashian- appointed chief scientist at the Atomic Energy Lab. Colin Kae- pernick in charge of WikiLeaks. The liberals' last best hopes were dashed on Inauguration Day when the Mango Musso- lini put his hand on the Bible and didn't burst into flames. The preacher said the rain that started to fall as DJT took the oath was a good omen in the Bi- ble. Yeah, tell that to Noah. The speech was darker than the Cleveland Browns' offseason. Kind of a cross between Nixon and Voldermort. "It's Mourn- ing in America." Trump will be a president for all Americans ex- cept the Muslims, Mexicans, los- ers, whiners, idiots and nasty women, especially the fat dis- gusting ones. But now our attention turns not to the real estate developer's vitriolic tweets but his diabolic feats. What is the agenda of the Tweeter of the Free World? Here's what might go down over the rest of the first 100 days of the Donald Trump Experience. January 31. Day 11. Trump trademarks "White House" and banks a royalty every time the press shows or mentions it. February 12. Day 23. Con- gress repeals Obama Care and replaces it with Trump Care, which covers nobody but is ad- vertised as "much more incredi- bly tremendous." February 21. Day 32. An Ex- ecutive Order makes it illegal to use the words "climate" and "change" in the same sentence. March 7. Day 46. The Presi- dent tweets a major nuclear re- duction pact with Russia. March 8. Day 47. The Presi- dent tweets a major boost in our nuclear arsenal to intimidate Russia. March 9. Day 48. The Presi- dent tweets a major merger with Russia. The two countries will now be known as the USSSR East & West. March 12. Day 51. The White House's press is moved to the basement of a bar in Bethesda, Maryland. March 18. Day 57. Eric and Donald Jr. are apprehended shooting pandas at the National Zoo with RPGs. March 24. Day 63. California Governor Jerry Brown autho- rizes barricades at all state en- trances and begins to charge a $15 cover and a two- drink mini- mum to enter "Golden Land." March 29. Day 68. After Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Sonia So- tomayor are arrested, Trump fills 3 vacancies and the Su- preme Court rules abortions il- legal and determines voting to be restricted to white male land- owners. April 1. Day 71. The Presi- dent authorizes a nuclear strike against Ottawa but Secretary of Defense Mad Dog Mattis pulls the plug after figuring out it's an April Fool's joke. April 3. Day 73. President Trump tries to throw out the first ball at a windy Washington Senators season home opener but the ball and his hand get stuck in his hair due to an ex- cess of product. April 26. Day 96. The Pharma- ceutical Industry reports record first quarter profits. April 29. Day 99. Trump holds a contest among his Cabinet members to see who can sell the most Subway sandwiches in three hours on the National Mall. April 30. Day 100. Trump tweets that he is bored and wants to quit. The nation is stunned. May 1. Day 1. Mike Pence suc- ceeds Donald Trump as the 46th President of the United States. The nation recoils. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed columnist and comedian. Go to willdurst.com for info about his new one-man show "BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG," and the documentary "3 Still Standing." Will Durst Trump's first one hundred days in office Another view King Solomon once wrote in Proverbs 19:13 the most an- noying sound on the planet was a nagging wife, but obvi- ously, he'd never heard what left- ists sound like after they lose elections. "Trump De- rangement Syn- drome" will be around for years to come folks, so it might be wise to invest in a good set of earbuds to drown out the whining. Oh, and maybe con- sider carrying a fire extin- guisher in case another anti- Trumper decides to light him- self on fire, like the guy in front of Trump Tower who said he did it "as an act of protest." Congressional Democrats showed who they really are by boycotting Trump's inaugura- tion while fellow Democrat an- archists chucked bricks, shat- tered glass, ignited fires and destroyed personal property. Funny thing is, more than 90 percent of D.C. went for Clin- ton, so the destruction spree only served to injure their own. The following day, anti- Trump women's marches also turned a little nasty. They be- gan with what sounded like a menopausal outburst by Ma- donna who welcomed protest- ers to "the revolution of love" and then shot off a series of F- Bombs on live TV. Madonna also admitted, "Yes, I'm an- gry. Yes, I'm outraged. Yes, I have thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House, but I know it won't change an- ything." Lovely. Actress Ashley Judd part- nered in the vulgarities which aren't fit to print here, but one thing is for sure: Madonna's and Judd's clown show inspired lots of people to join the Dem- ocratic Party, said no normal person, ever. I will admit, because of Trump's colorful past, he brought some of this on him- self, but that's no excuse for this level of stupidity. Their candidate, Hillary Clinton, de- fended a man charged with raping a 12-year-old-girl. Clin- ton forced the exclusion of damning evidence which al- lowed the man to serve only one year for raping and injur- ing Kathy Shelton, who was made infertile as a result. Ms. Shelton told The Daily Mail, "I don't think [she's] for women or girls. I think she's lying. I think she said anything she can to get in the campaign and win."Clinton also publicly smeared multiple women while defending her own man. Commentators on MSNBC bragged about the crowd size of the women's marches but, as a fellow female, I couldn't help noticing the size of some of the marchers. There is a big differ- ence between crowd numbers and crowd size. From the TV clips I watched, there's not a lot of cutting back on salt intake and Big Gulps in New York City. Sure, TV cam- eras always add a few pounds, but not that many. Some of the footage of the women on bridges was concerning. I re- call Rep. Hank Johnson (D- GA) lamenting in 2010 the whole island of Guam might tip over due to overpopula- tion. Someone might want to check the structural integrity of the bridges used during the marches. I will compliment them for marching. At this point, any cardio will help, but they should also lay off the choco- late bars, like I do when my size 2s get tight. In fact, they should consider marching every day rather than just when Demo- crats lose elections. MSNBC said protesters clogged the subways and bus systems. They could've burned a few extra calories hoofing it to the protest areas. Much of the time the women were im- mobile, which looked more like a cow auction at the Fort Worth Stockyards than a pro- test march. MSNBC said the goal of the marches and speeches was to inspire women "to get off the couch and run for office." Just getting off the couch would be a good start. Grazing slowly on smaller por- tions also helps. During the marches, MSNBC commentators suggested the outlandish displays were a hint of things to come as the Dem- ocratic Party pushes farther left. Obviously, they are clueless these antics are a YUGE! reason why voters handed Trump the presidency. Susan Stamper Brown lives in Alaska and writes about culture, politics and current events. She is a regular contributor to Townhall, The Christian Post, Right Wing News and GOPUSA. Contact her by Facebook or at writestamper@gmail.com. Democrats' temper tantrums continue Will Durst Susan Stamper Brown Joe Harrop OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Saturday, January 28, 2017 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A5