Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/748929
NOVEMBER 9-15, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Tour Of Doody I'm a 42-year- old divorcee, just back in the dating world and using dating apps. I have two young children, who live with me. I mentioned them in my profile at first, but I didn't get many replies, so I took them out. Is it okay not to disclose them there? And if I go out with a guy, when do I have to tell him? I'd like to wait till we build a bit of a relationship. —More Than A Mom Having kids shapes how you live. It isn't like some weird hobby you occasionally do on weekends, like roadkill taxidermy or yurt bedazzling. And sorry — even if you're far prettier in person than in your profile photos, being "striking" is just a figure of speech; it's unlikely to cause a concussive brain injury in a man, leading to big personality changes that give him a sudden longing to stepdaddy up. Not disclosing that you have kids until a guy is emotionally attached to you is what evolutionary psychologist David Buss calls "strategic interference" — using tactics (including scammy ones) to try to get another person to go against their evolved interests. For example, it is not in a man's genetic interest to invest time, effort and resources into another man's children, which is why men evolved to prefer women who do not already have children, as opposed to saying, "Well, she's got 12 kids … I'll take experience over 20-something hotitude any day!" Our emotions are our internal police force. They evolved to protect and serve — protecting us from allowing things that don't serve our interest. Your hiding that you have kids will make guys angry, including those who'd be interested in you, kids and all. The problem goes to character. If you're dishonest about this, what else will you be dishonest about? The right thing to do in online dating is to give men who will ultimately reject you the info they need to do that right away — keeping them from wasting their time and yours. (Otherwise, it's like seeking a new accountant by interviewing plumbers.) Being honest will narrow your pool — down to those who are actual possibilities for you, like divorced dads who'd be open to Brady Bunch-ing. There are also a few kid- loving guys out there who never got around to having any and would find it a plus that you have some ready-made. All the better if some other guy's on the hook for the kids' private school, Ivy League educations, and wintering in rehab on St. Barts. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD A network of freelance Buddhist priests in Japan last year began offering in-home, a la carte services (for those adherents who shun temples) through Amazon in Japan, quoting fixed fees and bypassing the usual awkward deliberation over "donations." And in September, Pastor David Taylor of Joshua Media Ministries International (St. Louis, Missouri) announced, to great fanfare, that he had "resurrected" a diabetic woman, 40 minutes after her death, by sending the lady a text message — through Facebook (though, of course, neither she nor any family member was available for an interview). [New York Times, 9-23-2016] [Christian Post, 8-29-2016] Redneck Chronicles As a dispute escalated between two brothers at their recycling plant in Bow, New Hampshire, in October, Peter Emanuel used his front-end loader to tip over the crane being operated by Stanley Emanuel (who managed to jump out just in time). Peter was arrested. Thousands flocked to the annual Roadkill Cooking Festival in Marlinton, West Virginia, in September, featuring an array of "tasting" dishes (e.g., black bear, possum, elk, snapping turtle) with a competition in which judges deducted points if the "chef" had not managed to remove all gravel or asphalt. [New Hampshire Union Leader, 10-6-2016] [BBC News, 10-3-2016] Fine Points of Canadian Law Luckily, thought Jamie Richardson of Whitehorse, Yukon, she had medical insurance for her 7-year-old Akita, who had torn a ligament in a hind leg, but it turned out that the policy, written by Canada's largest pet insurer, Petsecure, did not cover dog injuries from "jumping, running, slipping, tripping or playing" — that is, Richardson concluded, injuries caused by "being a dog." (After Richardson protested, Petsecure relented but, it said, only because Richardson had been a longtime customer.) [Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News, 10-3-2016] Who is the most at fault when (a) a mother provides beer to her underage son, (b) who then, with a pal, gulps down a bottle of vodka and steals a car from a dealer's lot, and (c) drunkenly crashes, leaving the pal with a catastrophic brain injury? In October, the Ontario Court of Appeal upheld a jury verdict that parceled out "fault," but assigned more to the victim of the 2006 car theft (Rankin's Garage of Paisley, Ontario) than to the mother or the driver (because Rankin's having left the key in the car overnight made it irresistible to "teenage car thieves"). [Toronto Sun, 10-13-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you stand to make a strong impression this week. Others at work may see your abilities in a new light, and you could be treated differently from this point on. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, pay extra attention to the people who really matter in your life, namely your friends and family members. Redirecting your attention will yield positive results. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, nothing says work or business has to be dull. Make your workday experience more fun, and you may be more inclined to put more of yourself into your work. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, it can sometimes be beneficial to escape from the hectic pace of daily life and spend some time on your own, especially if it means recharging. Make the most of an upcoming respite. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, the ride may prove bumpy for the next few days, but it's nothing you can't handle. Expect little time to yourself, but when you get a break, make the most of it. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Most of your plans are going to go perfectly this week, Virgo. Enjoy this stroke of good luck because you have earned it. Invite some loved ones along for the ride. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, take a new approach to resolving a stalemate. If you give a little, you might end up getting a lot. Listen to the other person's point of view more closely. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Expect your endurance to be put to the test this week, Scorpio. If you can muster some additional energy, you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, wake up a few minutes earlier each day and give yourself extra time to enjoy the peace and quiet that early morning provides. You'll start the day fresh. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, embrace others for the people they are. Each person brings something different to the table, and embracing those differences can help create lasting friendships. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, connecting with other people may become a bigger part of your job in the near future. Start polishing your social skills so you'll be ready. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, if a relationship has not been going as you had hoped, it may be time to take inventory and see what needs changing. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard