Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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42 UCW OCTOBER 26 - NOVEMBER 1, 2016 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Eat Should And Die Your response to "Torn" really missed the mark. She is the 35-year-old woman whose friends and family think her 43-year-old boyfriend is lazy and not good enough for her and will end up living off her. She has a full-time job with benefits, while he works part time and saves up when he wants to buy something. She says he supports her emotionally: "He … has my back to an unreasonable degree." Yet, you contend that his lack of ambition may lead her to resent him. My advice to her: "If the relationship works for both of you, enjoy it. Nurture it. Keep the outside influences outside. And for crying out loud, woman, pull up your big-girl Underoos and tell your friends and family to take a deep breath and say a prayer to Saint Eff You." — Better Idea He supports her emotionally. That, you insist, should be enough. Should be. And though it's reasonable to prefer that it would be, the late Albert Ellis, co-founder of cognitive-behavioral therapy, explained that "should" involves the irrational demand that the world manifest itself in an idealized way — the way it SHOULD be. This keeps us from dealing with it as it is. For example, I should be writing this response to you in a villa in the south of France with servants, a helipad and a moat. But here in the real world, I continue writing from the cute shack in L.A. that I share with my dog and several million termites. Likewise, the perfect husband could be a sweet man who splits his time between a low-stress part-time job and chillaxing on the couch with a doob. But women evolved to have emotional mechanisms pushing them to seek men who are willing and able "providers," and a man's ambition is a cue for that. As anthropologist Donald Symons explains, changing any "complex adaptation," like those driving mating psychology, takes "hundreds or thousands of generations." This is why — as I explained to "Torn" — research finds that women married to a Mr. Mom often end up resenting him, making those marriages more likely to end in divorce. Should "Torn" stay or go? That actually isn't for you or me to say, because our values aren't her values and what works for us may not work for her. That's why I suggested she mull over the potential issues — over time — and make an informed decision about whether to go all in with her Laid-Back Larry. Yeah, I know — love should "conquer all." And yes, in a perfect world, we could respond to utility company disconnect notices with a sweet note: "Please don't shut my lights off! XOXO!" Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD John Weigel and Olaf Danielson are engaged in a f renzied bat t le of "ex t reme birdwatching ," each hoping to close out 2016 as t he new Nor t h American champ of t he American Birding A ssociat ion, and a September Smit hsonian piece had Weigel ahead, 763 to 759. Danielson is perhaps bet ter k now n for doing much of his birding in t he nude (and is t he aut hor of t he provocat ively t it led volume, "Boobies, Peckers and Tit s" — all common names of popular birds). The old one-year record was 749, and t he associat ion at t ributes t he larger numbers t his year to El Nino, which has disrupted food supplies and driven birds into dif ferent locat ions. [Smit hsonian. com, 9-21-2016] Fine Point s of t he Law Compelling Explanat ion: Senate bill 1342, passed in t he Idaho legislat ure earlier in 2016, aut horizes schools to use t he Bible as a reference in classrooms (despite t he U. S. Supreme Cour t 's hav ing specif ically condemned a prev ious version of t he bill ever since 1964). The bill's sponsor, Rep. Sage Dixon, said he t hought his law was nonet heless const it ut ional because, "The lit t le Supreme Cour t in my head says t his is OK ." (Even so, Gov. C .L . Ot ter vetoed t he bill.) [LoweringTheBar.net, 3-30-2016] Nebraska voters in November w ill be asked whet her to keep t he st ate's longst anding deat h penalt y for murder — even t hough ret aining it w ill require t hem to vote "repeal." The legislat ure replaced deat h row last year w it h mandator y life sentences, and t he referendum is to "repeal" or "ret ain" t hat legislat ion. Hence, to abolish t he deat h penalt y, voters must select "ret ain." The st ate at torney general, and elect ion of f icials, declined to challenge t he conf using arrangement, instead suggest ing t hat Nebraskans are smar t enough to f ig ure t he whole t hing out . [Omaha World-Herald, 9-20-2016] COPY R IGHT CHUCK SHEPPAR D ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you will soon learn that any obstacle can be overcome if you set your mind to it. While a certain task may seem daunting right now, you won't allow it to intimidate you. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Others are paying attention to you even if they seem distracted, Taurus. Embrace the scrutiny and do your best to reciprocate any special attention coming your way. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, make an effort to be there for a loved one this week. You have a unique ability to listen and support others, and your loved one will not take your efforts for granted. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, if your energy and attention span is a bit scattered this week, take steps to ensure all of your responsibilities are taken care of. A respite is on the horizon. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, by observing others you can learn how they operate and make the most of your chances to work with them. Apply a similar approach to your personal relationships. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Try to tackle a financial project this week, Virgo. Select something relatively easy to begin with, and then go from there if you find yourself in a financial groove. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 It's time to get the creative juices flowing, Libra. Tackle a project around the house, like painting or rearranging a room. Look for a new creative hobby as well. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, you have a lot of energy and a need to strive toward perfection in all that you do. Those traits will prove valuable around the office this week. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Keep trying to convince someone that your ideas are credible, Sagittarius. With a little more persuasion, you may win this person over and he or she will become a big supporter. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, even if you don't want to go along with what the group is doing this week, you just may have to concede that what is best for the group trumps your personal preference. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, financial issues may be keeping you on your toes, but it's nothing you can't handle if you stick to your plan. You may want to do some tinkering, however. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, continue to bring the right people into your inner circle. One person in particular has your eye and might be just what you need. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard Full Service Catering from Weddings to Casual Company Picnics! 1114 N. Bragg Blvd. Spring Lake, NC 28390 Open from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Tuesday - Friday *Veteran Owned Business*