Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/517362
18 UCW MAY 27- JUNE 2, 2015 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS The File High Club A year ago, a co-worker I had a crush on made moves on me after hours at work and we stopped just short of having sex. I saw him as a potential boyfriend and I emphasized that I was not interested in casual sex. He told me at the time that he had broken up with his girlfriend but two days later said they'd made up. Several times since, when his relationship has been on the rocks, he's suggested we have sex. I told him I want no physical contact with him ever again, and now he rarely speaks to me, despite seeing me daily at work. I considered him a friend, so I'm devastated he took advantage of me and was only interested in cheating. I'm finding it really hard to heal and move on. — Disturbed Remember dating? People who want relationships — especially female people who aren't up for anything less — go on dates before they go on the conference table. If you want a relationship, having sex before he gets emotionally at tached is a risk y strateg y — one that of ten leads to just sex. Or just sex whenever his relationship is on the rocks. Women protect themselves by being what evolutionary psychologists Martie Haselton and David Buss call "commitment skeptics" — holding off having sex while seeking evidence of a man's willingness to invest. As for men, research by psychologists Russell Clark and Elaine Hatfield confirms what most of us have observed numerous times: As long as a woman has a moderate level of attractiveness, a man's likely to want to have sex with her. Sure, it's disappointing when a man you're picturing in the "future boyfriend" slot just wants to have sex. To move on, turn this into a learning experience so you can protect yourself in the future. This starts with admitting that you got sucked in because you let ego and emotion do the driving while reason was gagged, hogtied, and left for dead in the trunk. Accept that it's your responsibility to vet whether a situation would ultimately work for you instead of leaving the guardianship of your needs to others — others whose agenda may not match yours. Yes, I'm hinting that many men will tell a woman just about anything to get sex. AMY ALKON Copyright 2015 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD By Chuck Sheppard There's hardly a more "generic" song in America than "Happy Birthday to You," but to this day (until a judge renders a decision in a pending case), Warner/Chappel Music is still trying to make big dollars off of the 16-word ditty (15 original words plus a user-supplied 16th). Its original copyright should have expired, at the latest, in 1921, but amendments to the law and technicalities in interpretation (e.g., did the copyright cover all public uses or just piano arrangements?) bring Warner at least $2 million a year in fees. A federal judge in California is expected to rule soon on whether the song is in fact uncopyrightably "generic" -- 125 years after the Hill sisters (Mildred and Patty) composed it. [CBS News, 3-27-2015] Can't Possibly Be True -- In April, WNBC- TV's investigative unit in New York City reported on a series of fetish parties in Manhattan reportedly organized by a licensed M.D., in which the consensual activities consisted of saline scrotal inflation, controlled near- asphyxiation and controlled arterial blood- letting (in which splatters are captured on a canvas as if made by a painter). An event organizer said the "Cirque de Plaisir" was more of a "performance art" display by a few body-modification aficionados than it was a fetish "party." Local governments were alarmed especially by the blood splatters' endangering onlookers and promised an investigation. [WNBC-TV, 4-29-2015] -- Accused amateur serial tooth-puller Philip Hansen, 56, was convicted on two counts in May following a trial in Wellington (New Zealand) District Court. Several women had accused him, during 1988-2011, of holding their mouths open and wriggling teeth out with pliers (and in one case, a screwdriver), motivated by his attraction to "gummy women" as a prelude to sex. He apparently also lauded the "free" service he was providing, since real dentists, he said, would have charged the women. (Hansen allegedly told another woman, with full dentures, how "beautiful" she was -- as he was removing the plates, crushing them and flushing them down a toilet.) [Stuff.co.nz, 4-30-2015; Dominion Post via Stuff.co.nz, 5-6-2015] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Career goals are front and center, Aries. Try to process any fears that may have held you back before now, and you will discover that those fears are unfounded. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 This week you discover a good mix of creativity and practicality that you can put to use at work and at home, Taurus. Make it last as long as possible to reap the rewards. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, you are capable of making big decisions, but you're not entirely sure if you want to just yet. Bide your time and think everything through for the next several days. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you have put in long hours on a big project, and now is the time to buckle down and put in one last great effort. After that you can finally relax. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, things will fall into place sooner than you expect if you focus on the things that you can accomplish. Wishing and hoping won't get you far. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, others continue to send you mixed messages. While this may be confusing, soon you will learn to navigate others' signals and make the right decisions. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, your schedule is loaded with a lot of commitments. While things might seem hectic from time to time, remember that your hard work now will pay off in the future. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Reevaluate what is most important to you and set a new plan in motion, Scorpio. Others will be very supportive and serve as sounding boards as you determine where to go next. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, take a deep breath and relax when faced with a difficult decision this week. Trust your instincts and make a decision you are truly confident in. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, an authority figure wants to challenge you this week, so show him or her what you really are made of. Your ideas are valid, and you just need to assert yourself. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, you are more than willing to give it your all this week. You are accustomed to giving your best effort so this challenge should be nothing you can't handle. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, a tight schedule has you focused on the tasks at hand. You are more than capable of handling what's on your plate. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard