Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/39585
Thursday, August 18, 2011 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Selfish spouse's statement stuns Aricept for Alzheimer's Dear Annie: My husband's par- ents divorced 25 years ago, and both remarried people who had children from pre- vious marriages. All of the siblings are self-support- ing with the exception of one stepbrother , ''Rick,'' who is now 26. My in- laws pay for Rick's apart- ment and all of his expenses because he can't seem to hold a job and they don't want him living with them. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My husband thinks he has the right to demand that his mother and her husband stop giving Rick money. I disagree. How they spend their money is up to them. My husband says it isn't really their money. It's family money, and they should not be using his inheritance to support a lazy stepbrother. He doesn't understand why he's worked so hard all these years when Rick doesn't have to. He told me he sees no reason to maintain a relationship with his mother if he's not going to get anything out of it. I couldn't believe my ears. He said he didn't mean it the way it sound- ed. I told him his parents don't owe him an inheri- tance and that I hoped my own parents would spend every last dime before they died. My husband and I earn a good income. I am amazed that I married such a selfish man. I've never seen this side of him before, and I don't like it at all. — Floored Dear Floored: We don't believe your hus- band is selfish so much as he is hurt and resentful. In your husband's eyes, supporting Rick means Mom loves Rick more. Talk to him about those feelings, and see if you can help him under- stand that his par- ents did him an enormous favor by teaching him to be self-reliant, and that Rick will suffer in the long run. You also could remind him that, as the stepmother, his mom probably has less say over the matter than he real- izes. We hope he can for- give her and move past this. Dear Annie: I have spent many years in coun- seling trying to get over some social anxiety issues, but one still lingers. People invite us to their homes, and we enjoy their hospitality, but returning the favor makes me beyond nervous. I have nothing to offer that is as nice as what they have presented. I don't cook very well and would never want to offend someone with less than what they provided for us. As a result, I have stopped accepting invitations. I have taken many different medications to work through this, but nothing seems to help. My mother was a wonderful hostess, so I was taught well. Is it just laziness? — Social Dud Dear Social: No. Many people are nervous about entertaining, feeling that their homes and food are inadequate. You may even subconsciously be comparing yourself with your mother. Try hosting a smaller or larger event (sometimes serving only appetizers is less stressful) or a backyard barbecue. You also can serve catered food or reciprocate by treating someone at a restaurant. But please keep in mind that most people are less focused on your house and cooking than you are. They simply want to enjoy their friends. Dear Annie: You fre- quently advise readers to have the problem person see a doctor for evalua- tion. My question is: Just how is one supposed to get the problem person to a doctor if they don't think they have a problem? — A Longtime Reader Dear Reader: It's true that you cannot force an adult to get help, which is why we often recommend counseling for the writer, as well. And sometimes, when the problem is psy- chological, the person is perfectly willing to see an internist, who could often refer or even medicate. Occasionally, threats to leave the marriage or throw out a freeloading child can ''encourage'' the problem person to seek professional help. The fact that it may not always be successful does not mean one shouldn't make the effort. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. JUST MOVE IT Part of a national campaign to promote physical activity for American Indians and Alaskan Natives Friday, August 19th 11:30 AM Registration and Start Avanti-Garde and Electric Beach Tanning 317 South Jackson St. Join us for a series of non-competive walks and runs. Open to families, individuals of all ages and people of all cultures. For more information contact Avery Vilche at 200-2224 or Renee Timmons at 567-5528 ROLLING HILLS CLINIC DEAR DR. GOTT: I under- stand Aricept is not intended to reverse the process of brain degeneration in Alzheimer's patients but is expected to slow the process down. I am a retired physician and have been on it for about two years, and at age 88, I feel that I am probably having the normal expected results. I am slowly getting worse, primarily because of memory loss, etc. Do you know of any recent research that has led to any improvement in the actual treatment of Alzheimer's? I appreciate your response. Dr. Peter Gott DEAR READER: While I am confi- dent you know all the ins and outs of Alzheimer's, I will briefly explain it for other readers. This disease is one of sev- eral forms of dementia that worsen over time, affecting memory, thinking and behavior. Risk factors for developing the disease include aging, a family history of the disorder, and having a specific com- bination of genes for proteins that appear as abnormal in the disease. Other factors that are not as well proven include a his- tory of head trauma, being female and a long-standing history of hypertension. There are two types of the disorder: early- and late-onset. Early-onset is less common, with symptoms that progress rapidly appearing before the age of 65. It has been known to run in families. The late-onset form is more common and appears after the age of 65. Symp- toms include difficulty with cognitive skills, memory, forgetting names and events, taking more time to perform rou- tine activities, misplacing items, losing interest in things that were once enjoyed, becoming lost while driving down a familiar street, an inability to multitask, depression, using poor judgment, losing keys or personal items, dressing inappro- priately at different times of the year and hallucinating. Some medical conditions can cause dementia or worsen its symptoms, such as anemia, medication intoxication, thy- roid disease and a vitamin deficiency. Unfortunately at this stage, there is no cure for Alzheimer's, but progression of the disease can be slowed with medica- tion. The first drug approved by the FDA was tacrine (Cognex) in 1993, followed by donepezil (Aricept) in 1996, rivastig- mine (Exelon) in 2000, galanta- mine (Razadyne) in 2001 and memantine (Namenda) in 2003 for all stages of the disease. On average, the five drugs approved by the FDA are effective for about six to 12 months for 50 percent of those individuals who take them. It is possible for a person to suffer ill effects and intoxication from these medications that can appear to worsen a condition and leave family members and caregivers with little hope. I am personally aware of a friend on a different medication whose symptoms exacerbated rapidly, leaving him with hallucinations every waking hour and an inability to speak so anyone could understand, to get out of a chair without help or even to recognize family members. Fortunately, his specialist switched him from the medication he was on to Aricept, with fewer side effects, and his turnaround was rather phenomenal. Recent treatment trials are in progress, while others have been com- pleted. Some were reported to have neg- ative results; however, even when those treatments failed to be as effective as hoped, knowledge was gained that will help researchers in the future. Because the trials are in various stages of comple- tion, I recommend you visit the Alzheimer's Association website for details. Numerous trials do reveal hope for victims of the disorder. According to the chief medical and scientific officer of the Alzheimer's Association, there are two main obsta- cles to overcome. First is the need for volunteers for clinical trials, followed by an increase in federal research funding. If you are interested in participating in a current clinical trial, you can contact the Alzheimer's Association at www.alz.org/research. Readers who would like related infor- mation can order my Health Report "Alzheimer's Disease" by sending a self- addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 U.S. check or money order to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039. Be sure to mention the title, or print an order form from my website's direct link: www.AskDrGottMD.com/order_form.p df. D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY