Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/15265
NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Woody Allen Joke Come to Life: Shirley Anderson, 71, is suing her son Ken, 46, in Vancouver, British Columbia, for parental support — even though she and his father had abandoned him when he was 15 (having one day just picked up and moved and, as in Mr. Allen’s joke, “left no forwarding address”). An archaic 1922 law in British Columbia obligates adult children to support “dependent” parents, and in 2000, Shirley sued, demanding $350(Cdn) per month each from Ken, who is a trucker, and his four siblings (three of whom were at least 17 when the parents left and not considered “abandoned”). A judge awarded token interim support pending a fi nal resolution, which after years of paperwork and delay was to come in early August but has been postponed once again. [Vancouver Sun, 8-4-10, Montreal Gazette, 7-24-10] The Continuing Crisis We Have Rules! A team of anglers from Hatteras, N.C., had fi rst place wrapped up in the prestigious Big Rock Blue Marlin Tournament in June, salivating over their $1,231,575 prize money (including a bonus for single- largest catch), when judges discovered that one member of the Hatteras crew, Peter Wann, had not gotten a $30 North Carolina coastal recreational fi shing license before their boat pushed off that day. Under the rules, the entire team was disqualifi ed, and the runner-up, from Cape Carteret, N.C., got the money. [Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk, Va.), 6-26-10] They Don’t Make “Drug Lords” Like They Used To: Widely feared Jamaican drug kingpin Christopher “Dudus” Coke was arrested in June and extradited to New York City after being picked up wearing women’s clothes and a 1970s-style Afro wig too small for his head (with a pink wig on standby). The Jamaica Observer reported that Coke wet his pants as he was arrested. [Daily Mail, 6-24-10; Jamaica Observer, 6-27-10] Longtime South African drug lord Fadwaan “Fat” Murphy, speaking at a bail hearing in January in Cape Town, disclosed that he was born a hermaphrodite and has a separate identity (“Hilary”), which became relevant when arresting offi cers discovered that Murphy was wearing a strap-on penis. Nonetheless, he insists he is a man: “I look like a man. I talk like a man. I am a man.” [Sunday Times (Johannesburg), 1-10-10] COPYRIGHT 2010 CHUCK SHEPHERD WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19) It is your nature to be kind and gracious. You certainly don’t expect thanks for this. And yet, if you are not acknowledged, you’ll get the sneaking suspicion that you are throwing your kindness into an energy-sucking void where it will disappear and make no difference in the world. Go where you are appreciated. TAURUS (April 20-May 20)You will strive for deeper understanding of those around you. You perceptively read the hints in their clothing, gestures and handwriting. “A signature always reveals a man’s character — and sometimes even his name.” — Evan Esar GEMINI (May 21-June 21) You will be divinely guided to accomplish a goal in a completely new way. Believe in your mission, even when others fi nd your drive and manner somewhat strange. Those who fi nally get it will be supportive and proudly involved. CANCER (June 22-July 22) You will see some- one so beautiful that your heart will literally pause — and then pitter-patter harder and faster to make up for the lost beat. If you let this person go without making a connection, you’ll be searching for him or her in the weeks to come. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Here’s a strategy: Be highly enthusiastic. Go on and on about how wonderful it is that your dreams have come true, even if this isn’t the case. Assume that it will be soon enough. The rest of the world will support you, if only because it’s not worth the effort to disillusion someone so gleeful. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You will utilize dif- ferent tools to increase your power and infl uence. For instance, instead of writing an e-mail, you will fi nd that you can communicate your requests telepathically. You mentally give clear directives to someone, and this person seems to pick up on your instructions and respond to your wishes. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Being a force for good is a big responsibility. But over time and with daily practice, it is suddenly effortless. Continue to hold yourself to high standards and you’ll lift the world around you. This week you recommit yourself to being the person you have always wanted to be. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) When you don’t have a lot of desire, you won’t have a lot of frustration. You could just accept that because of your ambition you will spend part of your time being perfectly, beautifully frustrated. Or you could reduce your wish list and just be happy. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Progress will be thwarted for some of the week. It’s nothing you should take too personally — you are not being picked on. During this slight pause, you’ll have time to brainstorm and dream. This is your chance to broaden the scope of your vision. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) In defi ning the word “frailty,” the Oxford English Dictionary suggests, “All drama begins with human frailty.” Since you are trying to reduce the amount of per- sonal drama in your life, you will spend much of this week working to strengthen your emotional core. You will face fear and conquer it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Someone who wants to know you will ask excellent questions. This will be your opportunity to present who you really are. You can be you — the true, original version. And when you are, you’re exciting and very attractive. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) In certain mo- ments, it is easy for you to lose your ego and truly see the world as someone else does. This week brings opportunities to step out of yourself and suddenly acquire knowledge that you could not have found without taking the leap. You will astound those who have more conventional learn- ing methods. By Holiday Mathis Wiley’s Grille & Bar at the Holiday Inn Bordeaux. Relaxed • Casual • Friendly ADVICE GODDESS Buy Now! (Pay Later) There’s never a good time to break up with your girlfriend, but there is a really bad time, and that’s what I chose. I did it over the phone as she was boarding a plane to attend her best friend’s wedding. I thought it would be good for her to be with friends after hearing the news, but it ruined her weekend. She pretty much thinks I’m a terrible self-centered idiot, and she’s right. Here’s the good part: I want her back. I’m really not sure why I did it in the fi rst place. I guess I thought she’d be better off without me, and enjoy city life while she’s young and single. (She’s 26, I’m 31.) Now I can’t sleep, eat, or think without her, but she won’t even talk to me. We used to love sitting in a chair together and reading your column on weekends. I’d give anything to be back in that chair with her, reading this and your answer. — Heartbroken Menu includes a variety of appetizers, salads, sandwiches, entrees and char-grilled, hand cut “Sterling Silver” choice steaks. www.hibordeaux.com 1707 Owen Drive 910-323-0111 or 800-325-0211 OPEN DAILY FROM 4 P.M. - MIDNITE, GRILLE OPEN 4:30 - 11 P.M. 2 pool tables, 2 big screens and 10 monitors hosting NFL ticket (in season), and as the fun heats up, take advantage of our outdoor deck. Wiley’s offers a full bar including frozen Island Oasis creations. There actually is a good time to break up with somebody, and it’s when you’re sure the relationship’s over. Accordingly, there’s a good time to fi gure out why) you’re breaking up, and that’s before you do the deed. And, why did you break up with your girlfriend? Here’s the good part: You’re still not sure! Luckily, you don’t let that stop you from spinning this as some benevolent act on your part. Want to do a good deed? Buy a homeless guy new shoes and a turkey sandwich. Want to do right by your girlfriend? Figure out why you dumped her. Commitment issues? Pre-emptive abandonment (ditching her before she ditches you)? Only if you let her know exactly what she’s dealing with can she assess whether it makes sense to give you another shot, in a way she can’t with “it was just one of those random acts of blithering idiocy.” If you’ve had a pretty good record with her up till now (you’ve never left her at the mall or anything), you might be able to worm your way back in. You need to express deep remorse for what you did and beg her to take you back (be specifi c about why she’s so great and why you’re great together). Of course, getting her to even talk to you will take an act of romantic restitution. (Think John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler, standing under his girl- friend’s bedroom window, boom box over his head, blasting Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.”) Women are suckers for a having a great romantic story to tell, especially one where the guy shows that he gets what an idiot he was to ever take the woman for granted — and not just because he called a friend: “Broke up with her this morn- ing.” Friend: “Dude. She was hot. What’d you do that for?” Guy: “Damn, you’re right. I’ll call back and tell her I was just messing around.”. Amy Alkon (c)2010, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. AUGUST 25-31, 2010 UCW 23