Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/299379
APRIL 23-29, 2014 UCW 7 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM PITT DICKEY, Attorney, Contribut- ing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@ upandcomingweekly.com. Where is Barbara Streisand when you need her? Facebook ignored her advice about who the luckiest people are. It's not nice to ignore Barbara Streisand. Babs once sang with "a voice like butta" that "People who need people are the luckiest people of them all." Facebook just bet $2 billion that People Who Don't Need People will make Mark Zuckerberg the luckiest person of them all. I refer to Facebook's recent purchase of the Oculus Rift Virtual Reality head set. With the advent of the Oculus Rift virtual reality helmet, actual reality is obsolete. We will be able to experience all the fun of schizophrenic hallucinations and full blown psychotic episodes with none of the unpleasant side effects of anti-psychotic medications. No longer will people have to view the world through the camera on their smart phone. The smart phone was helpful by reducing boring old three dimensional reality to an exciting two dimensional digital photograph. Smart phones were a rudimentary defensive device against reality. The smart phone stood bravely between you and the obscure object of your desire. Armed with a smart phone you could visit the Grand Canyon or some stupid art museum and not have to actually look at the thing in front of you. Your smart phone is a digital prophylactic between you and what you look at. It provides one degree of separation between you and reality. Kevin Bacon remains six degrees of separation away but that is another column. Smart phones provide us a much needed filter to digitalize and sanitize reality. While helpful in blocking chunks of reality, smart phones are not perfect. They are too small to block out the rest of real life beyond the edges of your photograph. Inconvenient blobs of life still lurk in view. Other people appear outside the smart phone's field of vision. People are so 20th Century boring. Who wants their lives cluttered up with other people? People are double plus uncool. Enter the Oculus Rift to wipe away everything beyond subscription reality. Once you get your head in the Oculus Rift, you'll never let go. Subscribing to virtual reality is so much better than living in mundane old actual reality. The Oculus Rift wraps completely around your head blocking out the sights and sounds from the real world. You can sit in a dark room fighting dragons, conquering planets, or making sweet, sweet love to a six armed Goddess from the Planet Romulac. It's digital heroin. No longer be bothered by your family, friends, or even your own life. Strap the infant sized Oculus, Jr. on your nine month old baby. He will be entertained. You won't have to interact with him. It's fun for the whole family. Can't you see June, Ward, Wally and Beaver Cleaver sitting in different rooms of their house wrapped in the Oculus Rift and never having to deal with each other? What a perfect world. Beaver would have never gotten stuck in the giant coffee cup on the billboard if he had an Oculus Rift. He would have never left home. Put the Beaver in a dark basement wearing his Oculus Rift and he will never have known the difference. Insert your feeding tube and never leave the house once you have the Oculus Rift. Marvin Gaye heard something through the grape vine that prompted him to sing, "People say believe half of what you see/ And none of what you hear." With the Oculus Rift you don't even have to believe half of what you see. Believe nothing. Get your own new improved reality with the Oculus Rift. Unclutter your life from human contact. It's a wrap. People Who Don't Need People by PITT DICKEY USA Ret. The 'I CAN' in American! John 'JC' Czajkowski For Cumberland County Commissioner (At Large) 6 May Primary Election • Republican Ballot With Your Vote 'I WILL' jcforcc.com Paid for by Committee to Elect John JC Czajkowski. SPECIAL OPERATORS CHALLENGE 5K/10K/AND KIDS EVENTS Saturday, May 31st, 2014 Carolina Horse Park, Raeford, NC Register Now! Register at Active.com THE MUDDY NICK - 10K Resilience Run THE BOOMERANG - 5K Track and obstacle style run with the added challenge of a few Beers and a foot long Bratwurst. THE LITTLE MUDDY - a 1/2 and 1 Mile Mini-Obstacle Race for ages 5 through 16. The SOC is an Obstacle style race through The Carolina Horse Park. The SOC is founded by U.S. Military Veterans as a way to aid local charities and honor our fallen military, law enforcement, and all first responders. Limited number of Challengers per wave. Sign up early to ensure your preferred race time. Charities we proudly support: Special Forces Charitable Trust, Special Forces Association Chapter 62 & Chapter 100, Step Up for Soldiers, Team Red, White and Blue (RWB). We are also collecting canned food and clothing. • A Remington 870 Express 12-gauge shotgun to be raffled off • Free Body Mass index testing and massages by The Spa Fitness Center & Renaissance Day Spa • First Health on-site to give free medical screenings • All Veterans Parachute Team jumping into the event with the American flag All registered Challengers will receive a T-shirt, a Finisher Medal and a Race Bag filled with goodies from our local sponsors. http://www.active.com/raeford-nc/running/races/special-operators-challenge-2014 http://www.facebook.com/specialoperatorschallenge Fun Food Music! Your smart phone is a digital prophylactic between you and what you look at. It provides one degree of separation between you and reality.