Up & Coming Weekly

April 22, 2014

Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.

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APRIL 23-29, 2014 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Gone With the Windex I'm a woman sharing a house with several roommates. We're all in our mid-20s. This one male roommate and I sometimes cook meals together, and we share a bathroom (since we're both cleaner than the other roommates) and deep-clean the kitchen together. I've always been attracted to him, but he spends three nights a week with a girl he calls his "booty call." Last week, we were home alone together, had some wine… and ended up having sex. We haven't spoken much since, and he's still seeing this same woman just as much. He's moving out next week and relocating out of state for work in two months, but I can't help wondering. I can't tell whether my feelings are sincere or whether I'm just sad because the other roommates are not as clean or as interested in cooking. — Confused It's so rare to find a roommate who cleans the kitchen, I can understand why you wanted to sleep with him. Don't read too much into finally getting it on with Mr. Clean. There's a reason a guy seizes the opportunity to have sex with a woman, and it's typically "Because it's there." Sometimes sex can kick-start a relationship, but in this case, it merely seems to have kick-continued the sex he's been having three times a week with somebody else. Taking "a more active approach" will not change this. In fact, for a woman, it's often a very counterproductive approach. Forget the idea that you "should" be able to pursue a man the same way a man would pursue you. As I explain with some frequency, men evolved to pursue women and tend to devalue women who chase them. This is a deep-seated thing, embedded in our psychology and driving our behavior over millions of years of human history, down to our bitsiest bits. In other words, you found a lost cause, hopped aboard and are now riding it like a pony. You are not alone in this. We humans have a powerful aversion to loss. When it starts to look like we've made a bad bet, we engage in the "sunk cost fallacy," continuing to invest (and even stepping up our investment) based on how much time, energy, resources or emotion we've already invested. Of course, the rational approach would be basing any further investment on whether it's likely to pay off in the future. Acknowledging this will free you up to meet a guy who does want you, perhaps some lonely cleaning products heir scouring the world for a woman who'll put a sparkle in his eye while he puts a sparkle in her glassware. As for you and your scrub-buddy roommate, it's like that scene with Rick and Ilsa at the end of Casablanca: "We'll always have Clorox." WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19). You want to be the best, and you will make every effort to occupy the top position. If you don't get there today, call it a noble effort regardless of how you place. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Today's project is complicated, with many moving parts. You make it look easy. Your ability to balance several things at once makes you an invaluable asset to your group. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). There are those who think you should suffer for your art or work. But if you've already suffered through your adolescence, consider that you've done enough suffering for a lifetime and take it easy on yourself. CANCER (June 22-July 22). As you ponder your next move, remember that the investment of education is one that no one can take away from you. Choose your area of study very carefully, and you'll never regret learning. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). It will serve you to believe unreasonable things that most people wouldn't consider to be true. By your thinking, if they haven't been proved false, the possibilities remain. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You'll be dealing in your material assets. Your choice will be between spending, saving or giving of what you have. Keep in mind that each of these choices ends in loss; it's just a matter of timing. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Someone has knocked themselves out for you. If you haven't properly shown appreciation for this, do so now, and your personal life becomes instantly stable and fulfilling. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). When people make decisions together, there's a chance the result will be a compromise that suits no one. If there's a better way, you'll think of it this afternoon. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Maybe you can judge a book by its cover and a movie by its poster. But you can't judge a book by its movie. You'll have the choice of a long journey or the shortcut that gives a mere taste of the whole experience. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You can't lose when you sacrifice in the name of love. A sacrifice for love makes you a richer person regardless of whether you ever get back what was sacrificed. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Support your mind by giving it the conditions it needs to work best. Sleep, nutrition, fresh air and sunshine will be involved. Also required: distance from a certain tedious experience. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). The future holds surprises. Treat everyone fairly. Everyone. Over time, friends have a way of becoming enemies, and enemies have been known to join forces as true friends NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The Formula One circuit is generally thought to attract fans as a showcase of motorcar technology and racing skill, but organizers of the Australian Grand Prix (the first of the 19 races on the annual circuit) threatened a lawsuit in March against Formula One management because the races should also be showcases of noise. Formula One has softened cars' power this year in order to make breakthrough achievements in fuel efficiency, but that also tamped down Formula One's "trademark ear-shattering roar," according to a Business Insider report. Fans are less likely to buy tickets, the organizers fear, if they lose the deafening, 100-decibel vroom that is a "visceral element of the fan experience." [BusinessInsider.com, 3-20-2014] The Continuing Crisis In February, officials in Sudan seized at least 70 female sheep that had male sexual organs sewn on — the result of livestock smugglers trying to circumvent export restrictions. (Ewes are valued more highly, and their sale is limited.) Authorities had been treating the inspections as routine until they spotted one "ram" urinating from the female posture. [BBC News, 2-10- 2014] Amelia Boomker, 36, of Bolingbrook, Ill., celebrated her acceptance into the Guinness Book of World Records in March, recognized for donating more than 127 gallons of her own breast milk to critically needy babies in the Midwest. The donations came on top of supplying breast milk for her own four sons, three of whom were born during the 2008-2013 period in which she pumped out her excess for the Indiana Mothers' Milk Bank. [Chicago Tribune, 3-20-2014] Most Commandments Violated: James Chatten, 46, pleaded guilty in January to several Commandment violations stemming from a July incident at the Christian Horizons church in Peterborough, Ontario. Chatten brought a prostitute inside the church, for sex, after hours, and stole money to pay her from a church drawer, then lied to police about being forced to raid the drawer. [Toronto Sun, 1-24-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard By Holiday Mathis

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