Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/794280
Disagreementsover money can tear mar- riages and families apart. In fact, sources say that un- resolved money con- flicts re- mains the number one for di- vorce. But it doesn't have to be that way. More often than not, the solution can be found in this one-word direc- tive: Communicate! DEARMARY My husband always insists on balanc- ing our joint checkbook, and I recently found out why. The last statement came in while he was away on business, so I de- cided to deal with it. I was astonished to see a check to his parents for $250. I went through a couple of prior state- ments and found the same thing. I figured out he's been doing this ever since his parents re- tired last year. Besides be- ing shocked, I was hurt. I wouldn't have outright re- fused to help my in-laws, but we're not exactly roll- ing in dough. We have three kids and a hefty mortgage. How should I broach the subject with him? And shouldn't I be acknowledged for my contribution to our lit- tle retirement fund? After all, I work, too! —Christina DEAR CHRISTINA Skim- ming money is a real problem for any partner- ship, especially a mar- riage. But money prob- lems in a marriage are rarely just about the money. There's usu- ally an underlying is- sue. If he had asked me, I would have told him that as noble as his inten- tions might be, his com- mitment to you and your marriage trumps his rela- tionship with his parents. It's wrong to do this be- hind your back. But since you wrote, I'm going to ask, why did he feel he had to sneak around to do this? There may have been a time when he told you every- thing. But now he knows you'd hit the roof if he were to bring it up. I sug- gest that you go to him as his loving wife and part- ner, not as a raging foe. Simply tell him how hurt you are that he couldn't talk to you about this. As- sure him that you are willing to talk. Let him know that if you are go- ing to enjoy financial har- mony in your marriage, everything has to be on the table, both his spend- ing and yours. Talk it out. I'm sure you can negoti- ate a compromise you can both live with. And I can't help but point out that a man who cares this much for his aging parents has to be a pretty good guy. DEAR MARY My sister and her husband have re- ally been struggling to make ends meet. To help them out, my parents are converting their home into a two-family resi- dence. Mom and Dad are moving into the upstairs apartment and letting Debbie, Steven and their two kids take over the main part of the house. I'm glad Mom and Dad can help them out, but my brother and I are con- fused about what this means as far as our in- heritance goes. It was al- ways assumed the house would be split three ways. Will this situation change anything? Debbie as- sures us there's nothing to worry about. Thanks in advance for any light you can shed on this sit- uation. — Pam DEAR PAM If you are concerned that by moving in with your folks Debbie and Steven might some- how claim ownership of the house, relax. Your parents would have to sign a specific legal docu- ment for that to happen. Their will or living trust determines what happens to their assets upon their death. Let's say that one day the three of you inherit this property, as you as- sume. If sis and hubby are still living there, sis then wears two hats: She is a co-tenant with Steven and a co-owner with you and your brother. That's when the sparks could fly. Do you three owners sell the property? Raise the rent? Kick out the oc- cupants? Family money squabbles can get ugly. I suggest you bring up the subject with your folks now. Encourage them to have an attorney review their will or living trust and create a simple occupancy agreement for Debbie and Steven that reflects their long-term wishes for their estate and family. By the way, improv- ing the property will undoubtedly increase its market value. That sounds like a good deal for everyone. You can email Mary at mary@ everydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday Cheapskate, 12340 Seal Beach Blvd., Ste. B-416, Seal Beach, CA 90740. EVERYDAY CHEAPSKATE When money is at the root of marriage, family squabbles The Sierra Club Yahi Group is hosting the follow- ing events for March. Un- less otherwise noted, trips are free and open to the pub- licandbeginatthetrailhead. If you have any ques- tions or want further infor- mation about specific activ- ities, call Wayland Augur at 519-4724 or write to wba@ acm.org. Hike Brockman Can- yon, Sutter Buttes, Sunday, March 5 TheSutterButtesaremost beautiful in the spring with cool breezes, green grasses, flowingcreeks andwildflow- ers. Join for a moderate hike of 6-7 miles and learn about the geology and history of this tiny mountain range in themiddleofourSacramento Valley. Limited to 15 hikers. Bring carpool money, lunch and water. Wear layers. Call Jeanne at 321-7279 to sign up and get meeting informa- tion.Prepaymentof$30isre- quired. If rain cancels, pay- ment will be reimbursed. HikeVinaPlainsPreserve, Sunday, March 12 Seeoneofthebestremain- ingvernalpoolsinCalifornia, managed by the Nature Con- servancy. The Vina Plains, consisting of grasslands and vernal pools, are located just 13 miles north of Chico. The temporary ponds on imper- meable volcanic soil fill dur- ing the rainy season to sup- port a wide variety of flow- ers, plants and crustaceans. The group will see song- birds such as meadowlarks and horned larks along with raptors hunting overhead. A 2-3 mile hike; bring boots, a hat,awindbreakerandwater andsnacks.Meetat10a.m.at ChicoPark&Ride.Raincan- cels. Call Alan at 891-8789 or writetoajmendoza777@com- cast.net. Walkin' and Fiddlin', Sat- urday, March 18 Walk along the levee of the Feather River and spend time watching the California Old Time Fiddlers Competi- tion in Oroville. Bring water, lunch, walking shoes, money for carpool and entrance fee; dressinlayers.Meetat8a.m. at Chico Park & Ride or in Oroville. Call Jeanne at 321- 7279 for more information. SouthRimLoopHike,Sat- urday, March 18 Hike down from Ten Mile House to the Annie Bidwell trail then hike back up the Bloody Rim trail and then back on the Guardians trail. There is a possibility of springflowers,bringaflower field guide if you like. Rain will cancel the hike. Meet at 10:30 a.m. at Chico Park & Ride.CallJulianat893-1994. HikeTableMountain,Sun- day, March 26 Enjoythespringwildflow- ersandwaterfallsofspectac- ularTableMountainnorthof Oroville. Hike for a total dis- tance of 7-8 miles and visit Beatson Hollow and Coal Canyons and Phantom and Coal Canyon Falls. Bring lunch, water, camera, hat, sunscreen, boots and money for drivers. Meet at 8 a.m. at Chico Park & Ride or at 8:45 a.m.atTableMountainpark- ing lot. Rain cancels. Call Ju- lian at 893-1994. SIERRA CLUB YahiGroupplansMarchevents Artists express their tal- entsutilizingavarietyofme- dia and the March exhibit at the Main Event Gallery, 710 Main St. in Red Bluff, will feature the exquisite and graceful furniture art of Da- vid Widlund, woodworker, carver and sculptor, accom- panied by a full spectrum of photographic art by mem- bers of the Tehama County Photo Club. An opening reception is scheduled for 5-8 p.m. Fri- day, March 3. "I create forms which are artistic and functional and chair making fits the bill," Widlund said. "Sculptur- ing and carving allows me to feel and interact with the medium on a personal level. As layers are removed, or refined, there is communi- cation with the piece guid- ing further direction of the project. Sculpting and carv- ing also allows the piece to bespecificinitsmessageand personality. A child's chair may be carved into whim- sical, garden creatures. A 3-legged chair may convey smooth flowing lines that bringpeacefulnessinaquiet setting. A straight-forward, cushioned seat may beckon, 'I am comfortable, sit here.'" Living in Chico, Widlund takes advantage of having access to fallen or aged or- chardtrees.Hedescribesthe processofselectingthewood he works with. "I prefer to use Claro and English Walnut," Widlund said. "Both grow locally and have excellent properties for carving, shaping and sculpt- ing." Widlund allows the grain, texture,colorandflawstodi- rect his thought process. "To eliminate a piece of lumber due to imperfec- tions seems unresponsive andwasteful,"Widlundsaid. "They should exist and are the reality of the wood. All qualitiesofthewood,perfect or imperfect, should be used to its fullest potential." Widlund, formerly from RedBluff,wasexposedtoart at an early age. He is the son ofartteacherWallyWidlund and wife Arlla. Self-taught, his early works primarily were woodcarvings until he inheritedwoodworkingtools from his father in 1990. He now creates and carves en- gravingsintohiscustomfur- niture, many of which will be on display. His pieces re- flect how he has been influ- enced by Sam Maloof, Frank Lloyd Wright, Phil Lowe, the Arts and Crafts Movement aswellasAsianandcontem- porary design. Members of the Tehama County Photo Club have gained recognition over the past 12 years for their artis- tic images. Many have par- ticipated and won prizes in local, regional and interna- tional competitions. Their exhibit at the Main Event Gallery will include a wide selection of works in both film and digital formats, showcasing some of their latest works. The public is invited to at- tend the reception and meet the artists. The exhibit will run through March 25. Gal- leryhoursare1-7p.m.Thurs- days through Saturdays. The event is sponsored by the Tehama County Arts Council. Call 391-3259 for more information. MAIN EVENT GALLERY Ar ti st ic f ur ni tu re a nd p ho to gr ap hy t o be fe at ur ed By Justin McCuin Social Security manager in Red- ding Social Security is con- stantly evolving to make your life easier. If you are currently receiving benefits from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban De- velopment (HUD), and are reapplying for benefits, or are assisting someone with their application, a trip to the Social Security office is probably not necessary even if verification of Social Secu- rity benefits is needed. Because of a data ex- change established between Social Security and HUD, most people do not need to contact Social Security for a benefit verification letter. HUD administrators pro- cessing a Recertification Ap- plication for Housing Assis- tance can use their Enter- prise Income Verification (EIV)SystemtoverifySocial Security and Supplemental Security Income benefits. Public housing agencies, private owners, and man- agement agents administer- ing HUD rental assistance programs may get registra- tion information about EIV by logging onto the follow- ing websites: go.usa.gov/ x97mHorgo.usa.gov/x97m6. If you are a new applicant for housing assistance, you can provide your HUD ad- ministrator with your So- cial Security award letter, Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) notice, SSA-1099, or other SSA benefit document you should have received at the beginning of the calen- dar year or when you began receivingbenefits,whichever is later. We created these data ex- change agreements to help youget the support youneed at the first point of contact, even if that's not with Social Security. If you do need to provide proof of Social Se- curity benefits yourself, we have another way to save you a trip to Social Security. You can get an instant ben- efit verification letter with a personal my Social Security account at www.socialsecu- rity.gov/myaccount. SOCIAL SECURITY Trip to office not necessary for housing benefits CONTRIBUTED Featured furniture artist David Widlund poses with his three-legged musician's chair, "Treble Clef." Mary Hunt TheFourFreshmen Monday,March13th,7:30pm 333Oak Street Red Bluff, California 530.529.ARTS www.statetheatreredbluff.com SERVINGOURCOMMUNITYWITH AN EXPANDED MEDICAL TEAM • WeacceptMedi-Cal,Medi-CalManagedCare by California Health and Wellness, Medicare, and most Private Insurance. • Assistance is available by Healthcare Options regarding Medi-Cal and Managed Medi-Cal questions or changes. • We are often available for same-day urgent care appointments. • A new clinic facility is coming soon to your community. We invite you to become part of our medical family. Call to schedule your appointment today. (530) 527-0350 TehamaCounty Health Services Agency Outpatient Clinic We are proud to offer quality primary care and family planning services by Dr. Jon Malan, Dr. Richard Wickenheiser, and our nurse practitioner on staff. Visitusat 100JacksonSt. in Red Bluff for details (530) 529-1220 Visit www.redbluffhealthfitness.com for more infomation Monthly Membership as low as $ 28 00 a month! LIFESTYLES » redbluffdailynews.com Friday, March 3, 2017 MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A5