Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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26 UCW FEBRUARY 8-14, 2017 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Get Off My Yawn! I'm a 61-year- old guy who's been married four times. I love the security and acceptance of marriage, but after several years, either my wife du jour or I will get bored, and we'll agree to move on. Clearly, I like being a husband, but I do a poor job of remaining one. Can I change that? — Chairman Of The Bored It turns out that the goo-goo-eyed "Granny and I are still so in luvvv!" and the bug-eyed "Wowee, that's new and exciting!" can have some brain parts and neurochemicals in common. Social psychologist Arthur Aron and his colleagues did a brain imaging study of couples who were still passionately in love after being married for 10 to 29 years. Surprisingly, the results looked a lot like their previous results on couples who'd just fallen madly in love, with intense activity in regions of the brain "associated with reward and motivation." The neurotransmitter dopamine is a central player in this reward circuitry. Though dopamine is still widely known by its outdated nickname, the "pleasure chemical," current research by neuroscientist Kent Berridge suggests that it doesn't actually give you a buzz (as opioids in the brain do). It instead motivates you to do things that might — like eating cake, smoking a doob and making moves on that girl with the hypno-hooters. Dopamine-secreting neurons are especially on the alert for what researchers call "novel rewards" — any yummy, sexy, feel-good stuff you haven't tried before. Neuroscientist Wolfram Schultz finds that "unpredictable rewards" may be even three or four times as exciting to us as those we're used to. The problem is, when there's nothing new on the horizon, there's no reason for your dopamine to get out of bed. In other words, there's a neurochemical explanation for why your marriages often go dullsville. But, there's also good news: Aron and his colleagues note that "if partners experience excitement" from, say, "novel and challenging activities" that they do together, "this shared experience can reignite relationship passion by associating the excitement with the relationship." Obviously, these should be unanticipated good experiences — like alternating who plans date night and surprising each other with the week's event — not having your spouse find you in bed with the cleaning lady. You might also try to delight your spouse with small unexpected gestures every day. Ultimately, you should find bringing in surprise much more fun than simply hoping the relationship won't die — kind of like a paramedic just staring down at a heart attack victim: "Not lookin' good, dude! Hope you didn't have any big weekend plans!" Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Schools' standardized tests are often criticized as harmfully rigid, and in the latest version of the Texas Education Agency's STAAR test, poet Sara Holbrook said she flubbed the "correct" answer for "author motivation" — in two of her own poems that were on the test. Writing in Huffington Post in January, a disheartened Holbrook lamented, "Kids' futures and the evaluations of their teachers will be based on their ability to guess the so-called correct answer to (poorly) made-up questions." [Huffington Post, 1-5-2017] Compelling Explanations In December, James Leslie Kelly, 52, and with a 37-conviction rap sheet dating to 1985, filed a federal lawsuit in Florida claiming that his latest brush with the law was Verizon's fault and not his. Kelly was convicted of stealing the identity of another James Kelly and taking more than $300 in Verizon services. He bases his case on the Verizon sales representative's having spent "an hour and a half" with him — surely enough time, he says, to have figured out that he was not the James Kelly he was pretending to be. He seeks $72 million. [WFTV (Orlando), 1-2-2016] In Hong Kong in December, Mr. Lam Chung-kan, 37, pleaded guilty to stealing a bottle of a co-worker's breast milk at work and drinking it — but only to help with "stress" in his job as a computer technician. Undermining the health- improvement explanation was a photo Lam sent the woman, showing himself in an aroused state. [South China Morning Post, 12-21-2016] Ironies London's The Guardian reported in January that "dozens" of people have been charged or jailed recently for "defaming" the new Myanmar government, which has been headed (in a prime-minister-like role) since April by Aung San Suu Kyi, who was elected after her release from house detention following two decades of persecution for criticizing the longtime military regime. For her struggle for free speech, Suu Kyi was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1991. Said the wife of the latest arrestee, Myo Yan Naung Thein, on trial for "criminal defamation" of Suu Kyi's regime, "This is not insulting — this is just criticizing, with facts. This is freedom of speech." [The Guardian, 1-9-2017] Copyright Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 It may hard to separate reality from fiction this week, Aries. You need to find a way to distinguish the two so you can move forward with confidence. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, your heart is telling you to aim for the highest peak because anything is possible if you put your mind to it. It might be a bit scary, but you won't know unless you try. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Your reputation precedes you, Gemini. That reputation may elicit positive feelings in some and negative sentiments in others. Don't let the detractors get to you. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 You may notice a strange vibe in the air this week, Cancer. You might feel your intuition kick into high gear. Trust your instincts on this one and see where it goes. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you have a generous heart and you often see the good in all of those around you. This can make you an excellent friend for anyone to have on their side. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, you may become preoccupied with what others think of you. Try not worry so much about what others think. If you're comfortable with yourself, that will reflect positively. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 It may be difficult to pull yourself out of a slump this week, Libra. However, if you surround yourself with upbeat friends, the week will end up being positive. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, try not to drift on autopilot this week; otherwise, you may miss crucial details along the way. Try to be engaged even if it is challenging at this juncture. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, make extra time for your immediate family and other loved ones this week. Enjoy the warmth and laughter, and embrace the companionship that family provides. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, do not beat yourself up for little mistakes you might make. No one is keeping a tally, so just go with the flow instead of trying to control every little thing. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Wishing and hoping for dreams to come true will only get you so far, Aquarius. You must take certain steps to make plans come to fruition. If you must, go it alone. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, give an important decision ample consideration. A solid foundation of careful thought will make you feel more confident. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard