Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/77816
Wednesday, August 8, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Parents of addict can't toss him out and I have a 23-year-old son who is a heroin addict. ''Rob'' has been to rehab twice and has relapsed again. We have been attend- ing Nar-Anon meetings for the past eight weeks and find them helpful. Rob seemingly has not hit rock bottom yet. By that, I mean he still has some income due to odd jobs and unem- ployment benefits. The lat- ter are from a well-paying job that he lost for obvious reasons, and they won't last much longer. He has a prescription for Suboxone that he gets from a doctor who periodi- cally tests him for drugs. He also sees a psychologist once a month as a part of his treatment. Yet he is still using occasionally. From our Nar-Anon meetings, we are learning that others have it much worse. We also are learning that we are textbook enablers. My wife manages his finances and dis- penses his Suboxone, and we allow Rob to live with us, making sure he is fed and clothed. Nar-Anon says to cut all ties until he gets clean. But we are afraid that he will go off the deep end, and we would lose him forever. This kind of tough love scares me. As bad as things are, we are afraid to put the hammer down and throw him out. We also have two younger children, and this isn't doing them any good. Dear Annie: My wife Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar What do you think? — Dad in Wisconsin Dear Dad: It is heart- breaking and terrifying to watch your child descend into drug addiction. There is a real risk to your son's life, whether or not you enable him. Many parents have to reach the end of their rope before they are able to toss their child out and live with the consequences. You aren't there yet. Please con- tinue with Nar-Anon and encourage Rob to remain in therapy and to keep seeing his doctor, and if possible, get him into a halfway house so he is not under your roof Dear Annie: I have a question years, he clearly does not respect his wife. was 27 and I was 20. I knew my mother-in-law interfered in her daughters' marriages and wondered what she would do to us. It took four months. She insisted that we purchase Christmas gifts for my husband's nieces and nephews when we were struggling to pay bills. When we married, my husband regarding bridal shower etiquette. My brother recently became engaged to his girlfriend. Would it be appropriate to host a bridal shower for my future sister-in-law? — California Dear California: While it used to be improper for relatives to host a shower (too self-serving), it is now OK to do so, especially if the bride lives far away. And if you can include some of the bride's friends as hostesses to spread the responsi- bility around, that would help. Dear Annie: Your response to ''Alone in Minnesota'' was right on track: Her husband is a coward and an abuser. Marriage is about respecting each other, and by letting his mother keep her away all these together, and every day is more wonderful than the last. — Loved and Respected in Michigan Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. A step up in education The Back To School Project is about self- esteem, a step up in educa- tion, a kid's future. It's a ministry, a community effort, a heartfelt response to an urgent need. It's effective. It works and everyone wins. As the founder and director of the Back To School Project, one of my favorite memories took place in a parking lot; a humble mom stood some distance from the store waiting for her three kids to emerge from their shop- ping spree. One by one the children came out with bags of brand-new clothes, shoes and backpacks. The first child was greeted by a misty-eyed mother. The next came out to her mom rubbing tears from her cheeks. By the third child – the mom was over- whelmed, sobbing and telling me how grateful she was for what we had done for her kids. Since the project's inception in 2004, the Back To School Project has taken more than 1,000 chil- dren shopping for school clothes, backpacks and According to the National Retail Federation, this year in the United States, $22 million will be spent on back-to-school clothing. A family with two children will spend an aver- age of $800.00 to purchase clothing and backpacks. That's a far cry from the $100 the Back To School Project will spend on each of its participating students, many of which have never before experienced a new- clothes shopping trip. As a former single-par- ent of four daughters myself, I am all too famil- iar with this situation. Prior to my getting married in 1993, my children had never been on a shopping trip until the day someone gave our family an anony- mous gift of $100. My daughters, now in their 20s and 30s, still remember the outfit they bought with Recorder, Beverly Ross, announces that the Candi- date Filing Period is still open for the Consolidated General Election held on Tuesday, Nov. 6, for special district board of directors, governing board members for school districts and city offices. The filing period closes on Friday, Aug. 10, for all interested parties including incumbents. If incumbents do not file for open positions then the fil- ing deadline will be extend- ed until Wednesday, Aug. 15, for all interested parties excluding incumbents. The following positions are open for filing: Red Bluff City Council, Red Bluff City Treasurer, Red Bluff City Clerk, Corning City Council, Corning Mayor, Corning City Clerk, Corning City Treasurer, Tehama City Council, and Tehama City Clerk. Board of Directors of Corning Healthcare District, El Camino Irrigation District, Gerber/Las Flores Commu- nity Services District, Los Molinos Community Ser- vices District. Governing Board Members of Glenn County Board of Education, Tehama County Board of Education, Antelope School District, Capay Jt. Union School District, Corning Union Elementary School District, Corning High School District, Elkins School District, Evergreen School District, Flournoy School District, Gerber Union School District, Kirkwood School District, Lassen View School Dis- trict, Los Molinos Unified School District, Manton Jt. Unified School District, Mineral School District, Orland Jt. Unified School District, Plum Valley School District, Red Bluff shoes. The project has also provided more than 1,000 free professional haircuts to local school-age chil- dren. Those who con- tribute their time and dollars are impact- ing the future of our city, county, state and nation one child at a time. their $25 piece of the pie. I remember too, feeling cared-for by someone whom I did not know, someone who gave unselfishly to my family. Those are distant memories now, but each year I am privi- leged to see the same kindness shown to needy children by the caring people of our community. Since 2004 the Kim Back To School Project endeavors to meet the unmet clothing need of underprivileged school-age children in Tehama Coun- ty. It gives kids an opportu- nity to begin the school year on a level playing field with their piers. Going back to school those first few weeks is so critical. If kids don't have to worry about how they look or if someone is going to make fun of them. They can focus on school. We have funding for about 200 kids for the shopping trip Saturday but we have hundreds more waiting to This is a call to action. Union School District, Red Bluff Jt. Union High School District, Reeds Creek School District, Richfield School District. urged to contact the Tehama County Elections Depart- ment to obtain further infor- mation, filing costs and appropriate forms. Call (530) 527-8190 or toll free (866) 289-5307. To view the November General Election Calendar, and Candidate Watch List; Berry 96080. be sponsored. It only takes $100 to sponsor a child. Please join us in this opportunity to help a local child with school clothes this year. Your tax-deductible donation can be mailed to: Back To School Pro- ject, C/O Tehama County Education Foun- dation, P. O. Box 292, Red Bluff, CA A team of professional stylists will provide free haircuts to any school-age child from kindergarten through 12th grade 2-6 p.m. Sunday at the Red Bluff Community and Senior Center, 1500 S. Jackson St. Our goal is to send every child back to school with pride, dignity and a feeling of self-worth. Make a donation. Spread the word. Enjoy the return on your investment as you impact a child's life today. Kim Berry is founder of the Back Project. To School Candidate filing period for Nov. 6 general election Tehama County Clerk & please visit our website at www.co.tehama.ca.us/elec- tions. All interested parties are this conversation, he immediately got into his car and drove to see Mom. I have no idea what he said to her, but she did not make any attempt to interfere in our mar- riage for 20 years. Then my in- laws wanted me to talk to my hus- band's sister and convince her to divorce her husband. I refused and again told my husband. He had another ''visit'' with his parents, and they didn't speak to him for six months. We now have spent 42 years When I told my husband about TOR K: I have severe heartburn that hasn't responded to the many medications I've tried. Are there any surgical treatment options? DEAR READ- DEAR DOC- 3B Surgery for heartburn effective for most ER: Yes, there are, and they're quite effective. But first you need to be absolutely sure that you've given medication a fair trial. The medicines that are avail- able today, in comparison to when I graduated from medical school, are very potent and work for most of my patients. heartburn is an uncom- fortable burning sensation that radiates up the middle of your chest. The pain can be so intense that you think you are having a heart attack. Heartburn is a symp- tom of a condition known as gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD). It is often called "reflux." To understand what causes GERD, we need a short anatomy lesson. After you swallow food, it drops into your esophagus, a long tube that connects the mouth to the stomach. At the bot- tom of the esophagus as it enters the stomach, there is a circular group of mus- cles called the lower esophageal sphincter (LES). As you well know, The LES helps move food along into the stomach. More impor- tant, when it squeezes down, it narrows the size of the opening between the esophagus and stom- ach. This keeps the digestive juices, which are rich in acid, from squirting back up into the esophagus and irri- tating the wall of the esophagus. While the lining of the stomach is built to withstand the stomach acid, the lining of the esophagus is easi- ly injured by acid. If the LES relaxes too much, irritating stomach fluids surge up into the esophagus. This is the most common cause of heartburn. Some com- monly prescribed medi- Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. The most common procedure is the Nissen fundoplication. This sur- gical procedure takes a portion of the top of the stomach and loops it around the lower end of the esophagus and LES. The wrap must be tight enough to prevent the acid from coming back up, but it shouldn't be so tight that food can't enter and a satisfying belch can't escape. Partial fundoplica- tion, in which the stom- ach is wrapped only partway around the esophagus, is another option. The different kinds of surgery for stomach acid all are aimed at tightening up the LES. cines can cause the LES to relax too much, caus- ing heartburn. (I have a list of them on my web- site.) The operations are generally effective. They can eliminate the need for all GERD medica- tions. Over time, howev- er, the stomach wrap can loosen. If that occurs, you may need to resume medications and, less often, undergo surgery to redo the procedure. We have more infor- mation on treatments for GERD in our Special Health Report, "The Sensitive Gut." (Learn more about this report at AskDoctorK.com, or call 877-649-9457 toll- free to order it.) Fundoplications are increasingly being done as laparoscopic proce- dures, which feature spe- cial instruments and cameras inserted into tiny incisions in the upper abdomen. With laparoscopic surgery, patients recover much faster than from open surgery. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. County mental health board to meet next week The Tehama County Mental Health Board will meet at noon on Wednesday, Aug. 15, at the Tehama County Health Services Agency, 1445 Vista Way, Red Bluff For more information call 527-8491 ext. 3018.