Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JANUARY 11-17, 2017 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Wood I Lie To You? My girlfriend found a certain little blue pill in my jeans pocket, and her feelings were hurt. I explained that I'm as into her as ever; I just need a little extra help because I'm getting older. However, she's taking this personally. How do I reassure her? — Rhymes With Niagara A penis is generally at its peppiest when a man's in his teens and 20s (before genes and/or years of bad living narrow the arteries from superhighways to single-file footpaths). That's because erections are blood flow-powered — ultimately, anyway. They start in the brain in response to a thought or something from the environment — like being touched or seeing the hot neighbor bending over in yoga pants. Nitric oxide gets released and starts a chemical reaction that relaxes smooth muscle in the penis, allowing blood vessels to dilate: "Open up! Party time!" Then, sex researcher Dr. Robert Kolodny explains, "an increased amount of blood flows into the penis, where it is trapped in three spongy cylinders that run the length of the organ. The resulting fluid pressure is what causes the penis to increase in size … and to become rigid." There's an elastic fibrous membrane — the tunica albuginea — that keeps the blood in the penis. And this thing being leaky — kind of like a submarine hatch with a bad seal — is just one of the things (along with narrowed arteries, anxiety, endocrine problems, smoking, and diabetes, among others) that can cause a penis to stay floppy or get wilty. Using a pharmaceutical erection helper is basically like calling in a plumber when the shower pressure isn't what it used to be. It doesn't make a man the least bit more attracted to a woman or more into sex than he'd otherwise be. It just relaxes the smooth muscle and increases blood flow, making the, um, cadet more likely to report for duty. Explain all of this to your girlfriend. Then tell her how beautiful and sexy you find her, and tell her again. And keep telling her — with regularity. Men don't quite understand how much this means to a woman. When a woman believes her man finds her attractive, it helps her feel loved and secure. That reassurance — combined with being clued in on the mechanics of the manpart — should help your girlfriend understand that there's no reason to take your pill popping personally. The pipes just need a little help; it isn't the penis version of "Groundhog Day" — with the little feller peeking out, deciding the landscape is hopeless, and going back into hiding. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Oh-So-Sweet Dreams The Hastens workshop in Koping, Sweden, liberally using the phrase "master artisans" recently, unveiled its made-to-order $149,900 mattress. Bloomberg News reported in December on Hastens' use of superior construction materials such as pure steel springs, "slow- growing" pine, multiple layers of flax, horsehair lining (braided by hand, then unwound to ensure extra spring), and cotton covered by flame- retardant wool batting. With a 25- year guarantee, an eight-hour-a-day sleep habit works out to $2 an hour. (Bonus: The Bloomberg reviewer, after a trial run, gave the "Vividus" a glowing thumbs-up.) [Bloomberg News, 12-2-2016] The Job of the Researcher Humans are good at recognizing faces, but exceptionally poor at recognition when the same face's features are scrambled or upside down. In December, a research team from the Netherlands and Japan published findings that chimpanzees are the same way — when it comes to recognizing other chimps' butts. That suggests, the scientists concluded, that sophisticated recognition of rear ends is as important for chimps (as "socio-sexual signaling," such as prevention of inbreeding) as faces are to humans. [Washington Post, 12-6- 2016] Suspicions Confirmed Humanity has accumulated an estimated 30 trillion tons of "stuff," according to research by University of Leicester geologists — enough to fit over 100 pounds' worth over every square meter of the planet's surface. The scientists, writing in the Anthropocene Review, are even more alarmed that very little of it is ever recycled and that buried layers of technofossils that define our era will clutter and weigh down the planet, hampering future generations. (Don't just think of "garage sale" stuff, wrote Mother Nature News; think of every single thing we produce.) [Mother Nature News, 12-7-2016] Copyright Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, relaxation seems like the perfect idea, but some restlessness might get in the way of these plans. Low-impact activities may be the way to go. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, if you find it difficult to ask for what you desire, garner the courage and make a stand. Trust your instincts that you deserve what you are seeking. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, you are in your element this week and you will be soaring on good vibes for several days. There's no pressure to get things done, so keep on sailing. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, find your footing this week, which figures to be busy and hectic. Prepare a schedule so you can complete all the tasks at hand on time. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, optimism is good, but you may need to be a realist this week as well. Do not compromise common sense for the sake of seeing the bright side of everything. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, concentration comes naturally to you, but don't focus so much that you begin to miss what's going on around you. Seek a friend who can keep you smiling. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, you are eager to listen and learn but you also want to share your own experiences. This week you will need to find a balance between being the student and the teacher. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, avoid jumping to conclusions and encourage others to do the same. Allow things to play out before forming any concrete opinions or developing a course of action. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Make your decisions now before you add any more information to the mix, Sagittarius. Your judgement could be clouded by unnecessary data coming your way. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, you are at a turning point in your life and now may be a good time to make a few important changes. This may involve a new career path or new friends. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, even if you have a lot to get done, you will be able to think on your feet and make changes as needed. Maintain your self- confidence throughout the week. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Actively explore your impulses in the next few days, Pisces. You may not have a chance to do so in the coming weeks. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard