Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/754308
NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Knight Shift My boyfriend of a year is a big sweetheart, but whenever we go out to eat, he always orders first. It really bothers me, and I feel disrespected and embarrassed that people are seeing this, despite how this probably makes me a bad feminist. How do I ask him nicely to let me order first when we dine out? — Irked Males, throughout human history and throughout the animal kingdom, did evolve to be the protectors and defenders of women. This makes biological sense, considering that women provide a cozy B&B for the developing fetus, plus liquid refreshment and child care after the kid is born. And even a relatively wimpy man is likely to have more muscle mass, upper- body strength and aggression-energizing testosterone than most women. A number of modern behavioral protocols come out of these sex differences. For example, there's how the man's the one to walk closest to the curb, open the car door, and act as a human shield against a gun-toting mugger — despite how, these days, even the itsy- bitsiest woman can make quick work of an attacker with her sparkly "My Little Pony"-emblazoned Smith & Wesson. The reality is that the psychology driving these customs, which evolved over millions of years, doesn't just change all "presto gloriasteinemo!" because women now have ways to defend themselves. That's probably why you feel embarrassed about others' eyes on you. Evolutionary psychologist Daniel Sznycer, who researches shame, explains that shame is not just a feeling. It seems to be an information management program that evolved to help us protect our reputation. That feel-bad that rises up in us is a signal that we'd better do something pronto to stop our slide down the social totem pole. As for how to tell your boyfriend, keep in mind that you can school a guy in social customs but you can't school him in being "a big sweetheart." Use a compliment as your launchpad — about wonderful things he does for you — and then throw in a "I know you didn't realize this, but…" This way, it's not so much a criticism as a pointer on how to make you happier. And the truth is, if you're like a lot of women, you might find it sexy when the physical differences between men and women are emphasized in small symbolic ways like this. No, you aren't a traitor to womankind if you say "Thanks… that's so sweet!" when a guy puts his coat around your shoulders — instead of "Get that thing off me! I'll do the feminist thing and freeze." Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD New York City officially began licensing professional fire eaters earlier this year, and classes have sprung up to teach the art so that the city's Fire Department Explosives Unit can test for competence (if not "judgment") and issue the "E29" certificates. In the "bad old (license-less) days," a veteran fire eater told The New York Times in October, a "bunch of us" performed regularly for $50 a throw, largely oblivious of the dangers (though some admit that almost everyone eventually gets "badly burned"). For authenticity, the Times writer, a fire eater who dubbed herself Lady Aye, completed the licensing process herself ("as sexy as applying for a mortgage"), but declined to say whether she is awaiting bookings. [New York Times, 10-30-2016] Bright Ideas A major streetlight in the town of Pebmarsh Close, England, went out of service when a truck hit it a year ago, and despite pleas to fix it from townspeople — and Essex County councillor Dave Harris — no action has been taken. In October, Harris staged a "birthday party" on the site, formally inviting numerous guests, and furnishing a birthday cake — to "celebrate" the "age" of the broken streetlight. (The shamed county highway office quickly promised action.) [Essex County Gazette- Standard, 10-24-2016] Prominent British radio host Dame Jenni Murray suggested in October that the U.K. scrap traditional "sex education" courses in school and instead show pornographic videos for classes to "analyze it in exactly the same way as (they analyze Jane Austen)" in order to encourage discussion of the role of sex. Younger students might explore why a boy should not look up a girl's skirt, but older students would view hard-core material to confront, for example, whether normal women should "shave" or make the typical screeching moans that porno "actresses" make. Dame Jenni said simply condemning pornography is naive because too much money is at stake. [The Independent (London), 10-12-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, step out of the limelight this week and let another person close to you shine. He or she needs the vote of confidence. Lend your support and offer any advice you can. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 An impossible situation may prove less difficult than you initially expected, Taurus. Stick with your current path, and you can overcome the challenges ahead. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, your calendar is filled. Make the most of social situations and your chance to be the life of the party. There will be time to recharge your batteries later in the month. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, certain things have been on your mind and you don't know how to reach a resolution. It may be best if you talk things over with a trusted friend. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Your specialized skills are called on in the workplace this week, Leo. Make the most of this opportunity to prove to your superiors just how much you are able capable of. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Sometimes others do not see things from your perspective, Virgo. It may take some convincing to get them to come around to your way of thinking. Exercise patience. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 A family situation arises and you're asked to resolve it, Libra. You may need to step back and let things play out, but try your best to come to a decision that benefits all involved. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, this week is a great time to take a step back and regroup. Things have been hectic of late, and the chance to rest up and relax is just what the doctor ordered. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Put your family first this week, Sagittarius. You have been overwhelmed with professional responsbilities in recent weeks, but now it's time to reconnect with your loved ones. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, you might need to save a little more before booking that dream vacation. You're on the cusp of your getaway; you just need to hammer out a few more financial details. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, maintain the strictest confidence when a loved one discloses something to you this week. You're a source of strength for this person, and they trust you to remain silent. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Continue to communicate openly and honestly with others, Pisces. It's the best way to get ahead and solidify existing relationships. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard