Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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NOVEMBER 23-29, 2016 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM Professor Smartypants Is Back Inferno (Rated PG-13) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS When I walked into the theater to see Inferno (121 minutes) I noticed several people leaving a trail of tears behind them as they left. While waiting in line I speculated — "Which movie is making everyone cry? It can't be Boo! A Madea Halloween and it can't be Jack Reacher…" Well, soon after sitting down to enjoy my $2 Tuesday popcorn and Fanta, I realized that moviegoers were probably in tears over how bad the latest Dan Brown adaptation is. I admit I read the Robert Langdon series, and I watched the first two films. By the time Inferno came out, I judged that Dan Brown was a one trick pony and moved on. Ron Howard evidently read the same material and decided he could make a bad thing worse, especially if he dragged Tom Hanks back into the franchise for a third film. And right after Hanks had finished churning out biopic Oscar bait to make us forget his involvement in the first two films! Robert Langdon (Hanks) wakens in Florence, Italy. He is pale and doughy, obviously having been in a coma for months…oh, wait. That's just how Hanks looks now. He has a head injury, and as he slowly awakens, the audience is treated to a series of visions that closely resemble a Nine Inch Nails videos from the mid-90s. He sees businesspeople with their heads twisted backwards walking past deformed and mutilated beggars while blood pours out of a building to cover the figure of a woman draped in scarf. I hope you like seeing these things, because they reappear at random. Doctor Sienna Brooks (Felicity Jones) is nearby demonstrating that as men get older they emit pheromones that younger, sexier and more accomplished women find irresistible. By the way, the narrative twisting this May-December pairing borders on ridiculous. She is young-looking to be an M.D., but it all makes sense because she was a child prodigy and started her doctor training when she was 19. The fact that she gets so much screen time while Dr. Elizabeth Sinskey (Sidse Babett Knudsen) gets so little is infuriating. Soon after Langdon cards his designated female sidekick to make sure she is old enough to rent a car, the pair flees from an angry woman with a gun. She might be trying to kill the leads to stop the film from continuing, but alas, she fails. This is only the first of several chase scenes, each more boring and predictable than the last. In fact, most of the chase scenes hinge on the audience believing that Langdon is an expert in secret passages and roof access points across the whole of Italy, while also believing that Brooks took the time to carefully dress for a harrowing run from danger and still chose wedge platform heels. Once we swallow that, we are treated to supervillains making stupid choices. For example, a WHO operative who is secretly planning to auction off an incurable deadly superplague to the highest bidder tells lies for no reason, which results in Langdon and Jones running away from him. Meanwhile, the entire plot relies on the fact that supervillain Bertrand Zobrist (Ben Foster) decided to release the plague for noble reasons. Instead of leaving a note in a safe deposit box for his co-conspirator, he left an elaborate trail of Dante-based clues that they were unable to decode. Like, if you want me to hit a doomsday button, draw me a map. Finally, we can only be thankful that Ron Howard skipped turning The Lost Symbol into a film. As tepid, repetitivea and, frankly, godawful as this one was, The Lost Symbol would have caused movie theaters to collapse in upon themselves by creating a cinematic black hole from which no happiness, relaxation, or enjoyment could possibly escape. Now showing at Patriot 14 + IMAX. HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@ upandcomingweekly.com. 910 484-6200. Expires 1/31/17 $i. 50 Drinks. $i. 50 Drinks. $i. 50 Drinks. $2.00 before 6:00 p.m. $3.00 after 6:00 p.m. $1.00 extra for 3D MOVIES Movie Monday: $1.50 All Day(Holiday or 3D movies excluded) Buy one get one free! Buy one get one free! Fayetteville Independent Light Infantry VOL. 16 FREE to Residents, Businesses and Organizations throughout our Community. Welcome to Radio & TV Stations 18 Month Calendar WINNERS! UP & CO M I NG W EEKLY 'S Local Festivals County Libraries Area Health Facilities Schools Public & Private Parks & Recreation Universities & Colleges Frequently Called Numbers Town of Eastover City Welcome Mayor Nat Robertson Interim Chamber President Darsweil Rogers President FACVB John Meroski Cumberland County Commissioner Marshall Faircloth Live Theatres Museums & Galleries Local Annual Events Town of Hope Mills & Hope Mills Chamber Cumberland County Schools Dr. Frank Till