Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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MAY 18-24, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Fresh Prince Of Bel-Stare My boyfriend "loves women." When we're out, he'll check out and comment on every hot girl. I get that he's just "appreciating their beauty," but it makes me feel really bad — angry and insecure. How can I get him to stop? Why does he need to do this? I sure don't. — Unhappy You might take your boyfriend's babe- ernecking less personally if you recognize that male sexual attraction is visually driven in a way female attraction is not. This is reflected in research by anthropologist John Marshall Townsend. He showed men and women photos of hotties and homelies of the opposite sex, dressed in either a Burger King uniform or biz exec-wear and a Rolex. When he asked which they'd go for, men were indifferent to how the woman was dressed — picking the hottie no matter what she was wearing. Women, on the other hand, went for the homely business dude, and tended to nix even a hookup with the hot hamburger helper. There are also some indications that, just by looking at those on the babe squad, parts of the male brain's reward circuitry get activated in ways women's do not. In brain imaging research on both male and female subjects, cognitive scientist Jasmin Cloutier found that only men looking at photographs of hotties got the lights turned on in the orbitofrontal cortex — part of the brain that's thought to suss out potentially rewarding stuff on our horizon. Though — sorry, ladies — all men look, the kind, loving ones don't get caught (and especially don't marvel aloud). In other words, what's worrisome about your boyfriend's behavior is what it says about the kind of partner he is to you. When somebody loves you, they want to make you feel good — not like you're comparing poorly to half the female pedestrians jiggling down the sidewalk. The way to approach this is to explain how much this behavior hurts your feelings. As the father of behavioral economics, Adam Smith, noted, evoking somebody's empathy tends to motivate them to try to make things better. Telling them what to do, however, tends to backfire, leading to cries of "Vive la revolution!" As for how you'd like things to change, let your boyfriend know that you just don't want to see him gaping or hear about it. Okay, he appreciates women as these moving pieces of art. Museums are quiet. Men aren't yelling at the Mona Lisa, "Hey, girl, I'll give you something to smile about!" Likewise, in a relationship, there are legit cries for help, but one of them is not "Help, I've fallen down her cleavage, and I can't get up!" Copyright Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The eye-catching Viet namese model and Playboy ( Venezuela edit ion) Play mate Angie Vu complained to t he New York Daily News in April t hat her f ive-plus mont hs in jail in Brook ly n have been "tor t ure" and "cruel" because of her lack of access to beaut y care. Vu is f ight ing ex t radit ion to France for t ak ing her 9-year-old daughter in v iolat ion of t he fat her 's custody claim and is locked up unt il a federal judge rules. Among her complaint s: "t urning pale" in t he " harsh light "; lack of "Guerlain's moist urizer "; inabilit y to look at herself for mont hs ( because glass mirrors are prohibited); and "worr y ing " about being hit on by " lesbians" (t hus causing "w rink les"). At least, she told t he repor ter, she has found God in jail and passes t ime reading t he Bible. [New York Daily News, 4-26-2016] Questionable Judgment s Chef Mahbub Chowdhur y pleaded g uilt y in April to food and hygiene v iolat ions in Sw indon (England) Magist rates Cour t af ter inspectors found " brow n f ingerprint s" in t he k itchen at his Yeahya Flavour of A sia carr y-out rest aurant . Chowdhur y was candid about his "cult ural" habit of by passing toilet paper and using his hand to clean himself. The plast ic bot t le w it h t he f ingerprint s, Chowdbur y said, cont ained water t hat he normally used instead of t he toilet paper, and his law yer arg ued t hat since t he bot t le was never act ually lab-tested, t he brow n spot s could have been "spices." [Metro News (London), 4-13-2016] England's Brighton and Hove Cit y Council, st riv ing to be progressive, issued a direc t ive to parent s of new school st udent s ( k ids as young as age 4) calling on t hem to mark t he gender ident it y t hey prefer — and notes t hat any child who ident if ies as ot her t han male or female should leave t he space blank and consult w it h of f icials indiv idually. (Crit ics, according to The Sun, expressed t hat school should be for " developing " such ident it ies w it hout t he necessit y of declaring t hem so early in life.) [The Sun, 4-19-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, your tendency this week is to escape into your mind and imagination. While that's fine for a little while, pretty soon you have to come back down to earth. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, people are pulling you in all sorts of directions this week. They each want you to share in their good times, but there's only so much of you that can go around. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, even though you generally like to keep your feet on the ground, this week you are looking to be a little adventurous. Let someone entice you into a whimsical journey. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, a desire to bring more calm into your life could have you seeking out a vacation or just a respite from daily life. Take the time to unwind and you'll come back recharged. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, this week may prove to be a little intense, but you'll muster the energy and strength to push on through. Balancing fun and some work-related responsibilities is key. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Practicality seems to disappear when you have your mind on enjoyable activities, Virgo. Find a way to be both fun and practical and you will be set. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Well-laid plans are the cornerstone of a successful week, Libra. Everything will go smoothly, but most days should pass without a hitch. Enjoy the brief respite. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, expect a lot of action this week. There's no slowing down as you check off each item on your to-do list. Others may have difficulty keeping up with you. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, live creative fantasies this week because you might not have another chance to indulge for a while. This is the break you have been seeking for some time. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Honesty is always the best policy, Capricorn. This will become obvious when a past untruth you shared comes back to haunt you. Confess now to save face. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 You have the physical stamina to accomplish many things, Aquarius. This week is bound to be one with a lot of progress. Make a list now of what you want to accomplish. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, be patient with the people around you. You may be fast to grasp a concept, but it could take others a little while longer. Amy Alkon Your opinion is something we always want to hear. Call or email us your feedback. 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