Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/665701
APRIL 13-19, 2016 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Amazing Graze - I've been married for seven years, and I'm cheating on my husband. I've heard that if you're cheating, it's because something's missing in your relationship. But my husband is fantastic. I love him. I just long for something new and different. Help. — Torn Marriage vows are annoyingly comprehensive. Take that "Forsaking all others…" thing. Do they really mean "allll others"? Even that hot guy in board shorts in spin class? There are people who are under the impression that life should be COMPLETELY FUN AND EXCITING AT ALL TIMES. We call them 5-year-olds. The grown-up view acknowledges that the typical day includes a good deal of bummer management and that choices in life require making trade-offs. Marriage, for example, gives you intimacy, security, and tax breaks — with the downside that the nookie tends to lack the zing of boning some hot stranger in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble. To understand how unfair you're being to your husband, don't just look at your cheating in sexual terms. You're doing what neuroeconomists and anthropologists call "free-riding" — sucking up the benefits of a situation while ducking the costs. Meanwhile, if you get cancer and all of your hair falls out and getting to the toilet feels like the third leg of a triathlon, the man carrying you there will for sure be the one you meet for nooners at the motel. As for what's missing, you have no motivation to heat up your marriage if you're getting your heat on the side. But a relatively new area of research — embodied cognition — finds that action drives emotion, meaning that if you keep acting loving and passionate, the feelings are likely to follow. You also jazz things up by being surprising and going a little crazy — in good ways. As the country song goes, "Sing like you don't need the money … dance like nobody's watchin'" — but have extramarital sex like there's a private detective across the street with a lens the size of something NASA puts into space. Copyright Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Bill Bailey (a former nine-year employee of the water-irrigation network near Grand Junction, Colorado) was awarded unemployment benefits in December for being wrongfully fired. The company claimed Bailey was insubordinate and that any complaints he had were merely because he is "too sensitive" to workplace "fun" and unable to "forgive and forget" his supervisors' team-building spirit. According to an administrative law judge, the "fun" included, among other things, detonating unannounced, ear-splitting PVC "potato guns" (using golf balls and other items) on the job and Bailey's boss placing his own feces in a bag inside Bailey's lunch pail. (At one point in the hearing, during the boss's mirthful, carefree descriptions of the "fun," the judge felt the need to advise him of his Fifth Amendment right.) (Following the judge's decision, Bailey's two supervisors resigned.) [Grand Junction Sentinel, 1-28-2016, 2-16-2016] Questionable Judgments The Agony and Tediousness of "Peeling": The Canadian supermarket chain Sobeys has recently been selling pre-cut avocado halves, sealed in plastic packages. Said a spokesman, the product "eliminates the guesswork ... if you are not familiar with peeling and seeding a fresh avocado." Also, recently, Whole Foods began selling peeled mandarin oranges, sealed in "recyclable" plastic, at $5.99 a pound (but withdrew the product in March, with an apology and promise to sell the oranges only in their "natural packaging: the peel"). [Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News, 3-17-2016] [LAist.com, 3-3-2016] The Continuing Crisis The Most "Florida" Story: State officials have notified retired pro wrestler Mary Thorn of Lakeland that, according to the law, her pet alligator ("Rambo"), age 15, having grown to 6 feet in length, may no longer be kept at home unless she provides at least 2 1/2 acres of roaming space. She made a public plea in March, warning that confiscating Rambo would kill him, as he is super- sensitive to sunlight (having been raised inside her home) and must wear clothes and sunscreen when outside (though Thorn pointed out that he is "potty-trained" and wags his tail when needing to answer nature's call). (At press time, the investigation of Rambo was still ongoing.) [The Ledger (Lakeland), 3-16- 2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Changes at work may prove lucrative for you, Aries. ThatÕs a bit of good news you can use right now, especially if you plan on throwing a big party or taking a vacation. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you may experience a burst of creativity that has you dabbling in a project or dreaming up plans for one. Ask friends or colleagues for some feedback. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, some revealing conversations with friends may have you second-guessing just who you can trust. Exercise caution when sharing private thoughts. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Expect some noticeable changes in your neighborhood, Cancer. You may be caught off guard this when familiar surroundings begin to look different. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, past efforts to advance your career may have not worked out, but that doesnÕt mean you should give up trying. Try to broaden your network again in the days ahead. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, if an opportunity to travel comes your way this week, take advantage of it. You do not know when you will get another chance in the near future. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, your instincts are highly attuned and you can do a good job of sizing people up this week. You can be so good at it that others look to you for personal advice. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, expect a few invitations to social gatherings to soon arrive in the mail or your in your inbox. This is a great chance to let others see a different side of you. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, your physical and mental energy is very high. Channel it into a productive endeavor and use your energy to get others motivated. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, the optimism bug has overtaken you and you are filled with energy and enthusiasm. Move on with some creative ideas and encourage others to follow suit. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, when you are feeling motivated, all others will follow your lead. ItÕs all or nothing for you this week. You have the motivation to plow through any task. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 New opportunities are coming your way. This could mean investing in some new technology or pursuing a new career opportunity. Amy Alkon