Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/656512
30 UCW MARCH 23-29, 2016 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Papa's Got A Brand New Hag My boyfriend travels a lot, and when he's away, he wants to video call over FaceTime. Well, I look absolutely hideous on FaceTime, and I don't want to do it. And really, who doesn't look scary on FaceTime? Megan Fox? Scarlett Johansson? I get that he loves me and knows what I really look like, but I always feel depressed and self-conscious after I get off our video calls. — FaceTime Hater Friends will remind you that your boyfriend loves you and tells you you're being silly (read: shallow). Some will offer helpful suggestions, like "It's all about the lighting!" They aren't wrong. I suggest avoiding light entirely, like by FaceTiming from a dark closet. Another popular chant: "Wear concealer!" My recommendation: Le Burlap Bag Over Le Head. Right now, countless readers are getting ready to email me to tell me I'm an idiot. (Hold your fire!) First, male sexuality is highly visual — in a way female sexuality is not. And then there's what psychologists call "the contrast effect" — how the attractiveness of someone or something changes, depending on the "neighborhood": how attractive or unattractive the nearby alternatives are. So, you could be an easy 8.5 in Smalltownville and come to Hollywood — aka Mecca for every high school's golden-blondiest cheerleader — and find yourself struggling to hang on to a 5.8. The contrast effect even holds true for somebody we love. In research by evolutionary psychologists Douglas Kenrick and Steven Neuberg, when men in relationships were exposed to pictures of very attractive women, they perceived their partner as less attractive — and (eek) felt less satisfied with and less committed to her. Obviously, looks aren't all that matter. But sexual attraction naturally wanes over time. Best not to help it along with a "just keep your chins up!" attitude about FaceTiming. This isn't to say you should leave your boyfriend visually starved. You can keep him well-supplied with images of you that you can control: selfies. These selfies could even be used for a "foreign correspondent" approach to FaceTime — keeping the camera on a still photo of yourself (like when a CNN reporter is on an audio-only connection from a tent outside of Jalalabad). This will allow you to focus on your boyfriend instead of on another man — one with the medical training to make your cavernous nasolabial folds look less like the place they'll find Jimmy Hoffa, your dad's coin collection, and three hikers who disappeared in 1976. Copyright Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Seattle's ambitious Office of Arts & Culture has allocated $10,000 this year to pay a poet or writer to create a work while present on the city's Fremont Bridge drawbridge. The office's deputy director told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer in January that the city wants to encourage "public art" and that the grant will oblige the recipient to create a work of prose or poetry from the bridge's northwest tower, to help the people of Seattle understand the function of art in the city. (The artist will not be "in residence," for the tower has no running water.) [Seattle Post- Intelligencer, 1-14-2016] The Continuing Crisis The dominant- submissive lifestyle soared to higher-brow status in February when The New York Times reported on the recent marriage of the celebrated composer of "moody, queasy" works (and compulsive dominant) Georg Friedrich Haas to Mollena Williams, who blogs introspectively about her own kinky bondage as "The Perverted Negress." Friedrich had introduced himself to her on a dating site with the note, "I would like to tame you," and credits her acceptance for his improved productivity — because, he said, "I am not (any longer) disturbed by unfulfilled thoughts." Although Williams-Haas is a black woman submitting to a white man, she explained that, "To say I can't play my personal psychodrama out just because I'm black, that's racist." [New York Times, 2-24-2016] New World Order Exasperated, Columbia County (Pennsylvania) District Judge Craig Long felt the need to post a sign outside his courtroom in January informing visitors that they should not wear pajamas to court. However, even Judge Long acknowledged that his admonition was not enforceable and that he was merely trying to encourage minimal standards. [WNEP-TV (Moosic, Pa.), 1-29-2016] "Microaggression": In its brand- new communications stylebook this year for city workers, San Diego officials noted that the city's then-upcoming Presidents' Day announcements should, to be bias- free and inoffensive, never refer to America's "Founding Fathers" — even though they were all males — but only to "founders." [Pacific Justice Institute press release, 2-8-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES- Mar 21/Apr 20 A positive attitude may help you overcome any challenges that come your way this week, Aries. Maintain this positivity and things will ultimately work out for the best. TAURUS- Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, offer others positive feedback when they deserve it. Your willingness to give credit where it's due is why others find you so easy to work with. GEMINI- May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, others will be very receptive to your fresh ideas this week. Be prepared to explain these ideas in as much detail as possible and enjoy the fruits of your labors. CANCER- Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, some good news is just over the horizon. Resist the temptation to celebrate prematurely, but don't be surprised when Lady Luck breaks your way. LEO- Jul 23/Aug 23 A number of opportunities are coming your way in the near future, Leo. Just get ready to take advantage of these chances when opportunity knocks. It rarely knocks twice. VIRGO- Aug 24/Sept 22 Relationships are on your mind, Virgo. You are anxious to show loved ones how much you care for them, and they will respond in kind. LIBRA- Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, you have plenty on your plate lately, but you also have to find a way to fit in some time for rest. Running at a frantic pace is a recipe for burn-out. SCORPIO- Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, let go of some of the responsibilities you have recently taken on. Trust that others around you can handle these tasks just as capably. Enjoy the extra free time. You earned it. SAGITTARIUS- Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, even though the world has lately presented plenty of twists and turns, you can still enjoy the ride. Keep an open mind to all new opportunities. CAPRICORN- Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, a big project is yours to make work. This is a big responsibility, but you are up to the task. Keep forging ahead and you will be pleased with the results. AQUARIUS- Jan 21/Feb 18 Focusing on one thing is a tricky proposition this week, Aquarius. You have a lot of things on your mind, but do your best to maintain focus. Take breaks, if necessary. PISCES- Feb 19/Mar 20 Someone's criticism may shock you, Pisces, but that could be for the best. It may just ground you and bring you back to reality. Amy Alkon