Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/589377
GregStevens,Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIALBOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@ redbluffdailynews.com Fax: 530-527-9251 Mail to: P.O. Box 220, 545 Diamond Ave., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS This isa verybusyweek in the Cornelius household. The wife and I are working our tails off pre- paring for what has become, over the past 40 years, our fa- vorite day of the year. Okay, that's a lie. It's Billie's favorite day. As for me, I can live without it. What am I talking about? Bunco, of course. About 40 years ago a group of then young, marginally in- telligent, energetic, vivacious, and somewhat attractive wives and mothers started a Bunco club. The club is currently comprised of a dozen aging la- dies, including the wife, my much older sister Judy, Cherry Mealer, Paula Ross, Corky Hendrix, Alice Tatro, Gaylen Norman, Tina McDonald, Bob- bie Epperson, Laurie Nelson and Darla Hufford. Many of these ladies are charter Bunco club members. As far as I can tell, the only way a member can be released from the Bunco sisterhood is to seek asylum in some sort of secret witness program or, sadly, transfer their member- ship to the great Bunco club in the sky. As difficult as it is to get out of the club, it is even more dif- ficult to become a new mem- ber. On the very rare occasion that a person leaves the club, members quickly assemble at the home of a charter member, wine bottles in hand, to begin the arduous task of selecting a replacement member. It is sort of like electing a new Pope. Each member is free to nom- inate any person they choose, with the understanding that any and all gossip concern- ing said candidate is included as part of the nominating pro- cess. Votes are taken, and when a new member is finally elected, a puff of pink smoke is sent up the chimney, signify- ing that my wife will soon be home to make me dinner. I've never played Bunco. I believe it is some sort of dice game where prizes are awarded for having the most Buncos, the most wins, fewest wins, 50/50, and for produc- ing the most photographs of grandchildren that no one re- ally wants to see. Because there are 12 mem- bers in the club, each member is required to host a monthly meeting one time every year. Therein lies the rub. In theory, members are to- tally reimbursed for costs asso- ciated with hosting a meeting, in that every player contributes $10 — $120 total — to cover all expenses. As relating to Bunco, theory has absolutely nothing to do with reality. This year's list of expenses associated with hosting our Bunco meeting includes: win- dow cleaning, $200; front porch light bulb, $2; carpet cleaning, $150; new dessert flatware, $235; paint for the front of the house that can be seen from the road, $2,300; detail job on the wife's '97 Buick, $125; appetizers, candy and nuts, $235; pot- pourri for underwear draw- ers in case of snoopy mem- bers, $12; wine and other foo- foo drinks, $600; cakes, pies and really sour custard cups, $168; individual "thanks for coming" guest gifts, $300; and finally, $120 for actual Bunco prizes that will end up in a closet as soon as you get home. Worse than spending $4,447 to make the house presentable is the meeting it- self. After 40 years I know what to expect next Mon- day evening. At exactly 6:50 p.m. I will be banished to the master bedroom, where I will be forced to watch the baseball playoff game on the small 30-inch flat screen while the 60-inch model sits idle in the living room. At 6:56 p.m. the first Bunco artist will arrive, ring the doorbell, and tell the wife how nice the house looks; af- ter which the wife will ex- plain that she really didn't even have time to tidy up the place—a ritual that will take place as each guest arrives. After settling in, real Bunco stuff begins to occur. For the next two hours I will hardly be able to hear the game over the constant chatter, laughter, hoots, hollers, whoops, and woo-whoos taking place only a few feet away. And suddenly I will hear the best noise of the entire evening as the wife opens the front door, sending each and every one of them back to their own home where they rightfully belong. And then, as we watch the tail lights of the last car to leave fade in the distance, the wife will turn to me and say, "What color do you think we should paint the front of the house that you can see from the road, next year?" •••• Never dreamed I would be claiming the literary rights to the term "pissed off," but R. Minch is correct Les Wolfe. It's mine. •••• My best friend at Bidwell School was Jim Calegari. His father Adolph was the owner of the local garbage company. I spent a great deal of time in the Calegari home, and was close to the entire family. Sadly, Jim passed away a de- cade or so ago, but amazingly, Adolph lived until just last week when he died at the ripe old age of 103. Rest in peace, Adolph, and give my best to Jim. •••• If you are like me, you prob- ably have never heard of Uku- lele Master Jake Shimabukuro. If that's the case, please do as I did. Log on to YouTube and lis- ten to this amazing man play "Over the Rainbow" on the ukulele. Jake is truly a genius. In addition to selling out con- cert halls all over the world, he has played his magical instru- ment for the Queen of Eng- land. If you truly want to see the best of the best at the his- toric State Theatre, attending the Jake Shimabukuro concert on Oct. 28 is a must. You will not be disappointed, I prom- ise. Call 529-2787 for addi- tional information. •••• Last but not least, happy fourth birthday to my favor- ite little redhead in the entire world, Alix Rose Cornelius. Grandma and grandpa love you very much. BillCorneliusisalifelong resident of Red Bluff, a retired Chief Probation Officer, a champion of the State Theatre and an exceptional athlete. He can be reached at bill. cornelius@sbcglobal.net. William Tells A busy week at the Cornelius household Cartoonist's take "The wife keeps shooting down my Halloween costume ideas because she says they are too insensitive." "That's too bad. Pop-culture expert Robert Thompson, the founding director of the Bleier Cen- ter for Television and Popular Cul- ture at Syracuse University, says it is the one day of the year when almost anything goes. A day when adults can 'do something out- rageous they'd never do nor- mally.'" "I couldn't agree more. It's the only day of the year we can freely satirize our culture, but the wife is having none of it." "You weren't thinking of dressing up like Caitlyn Jen- ner, I hope?" "No, but I was thinking of satirizing our lousy economy by dressing up as a hobo. I was going to wear old, torn clothes, but the wife put a stop to it." "Because it would be rude to make fun of people who live on the streets?" "No, because I was going to wear my regular clothes. I haven't been able to buy new pants since the economy tanked in 2008." "Surely you have other satiri- cal ideas to choose from." "I was going to dress up like the clock kid, who brought an allegedly homemade clock to school in a briefcase, but the wife said no way." "Because she thinks such a costume might offend some people?" "No, because she doesn't want me to disassemble our bedroom clock. Then I had the idea to mock the story about the dentist who shot Cecil the lion. I was going to dress up like a dentist with a bow and arrow and carry a pro-Planned Parenthood sign." "I don't get it." "How can people can get so universally outraged by the tro- phy killing of a lion without everyone getting universally outraged by some disturb- ing videos of Planned Parent- hood activities? Then I had an idea to dress up like a ma- chete-wielding ISIS member, but the wife really disliked that idea." "ISIS is beheading Chris- tians who won't convert to their faith. A costume that calls attention to their hor- rific bloodshed would cer- tainly be provocative." "Well, the wife said such a costume would make people angry at me, not the blood- shed ISIS is causing. Many people can't bring themselves to digest the real evil ISIS is carrying out on innocent peo- ple, but it would be easy for them to find fault with me." "The pope recently con- cluded a fascinating visit to our country. I imagine some people will come up with cos- tumes based on his visit." "The wife says no way am I permitted to do anything that involves religion, as there are so many people who might find that offensive." "Well, your wife seems to re- flect the hypersensitive na- ture of people these days. Then again, it would be inconsider- ate to dress, say, as an illegal alien or Klansman. Still, for the most part, Halloween is possi- bly the last bastion of freedom in America — the only day of the year people can do some- thing that is not entirely appro- priate." "Well, the wife isn't going to let me do something inappro- priate." "How about having some fun with a political figure now that the presidential campaign is heating up? Surely that is still OK?" "I was going to dress up in a blond wig and a pantsuit, but the wife said that would be in- sensitive to middle-aged women like Hillary." "How about dressing up in a frumpy blond toupee and a suit to have some fun with Donald Trump?" "Great suggestion. The wife says the only thing Americans can still make fun of is a rich, white Republican man." Tom Purcell, author of "Misadventures of a 1970s Childhood" and "Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!" is a Pittsburgh Tribune-Review humor columnist. Send comments to Tom at Tom@ TomPurcell.com. Tom Purcell Politically correct Halloween costumes I've never played Bunco. I believe it is some sort of dice game where prizes are awarded for having the most Buncos, the most wins, fewest wins, 50/50, and for producing the most photographs of grandchildren that no one really wants to see. Tom Purcell The U.S. Treasury's recent announcement that the govern- ment will reach the debt ceiling on November 3 means Congress will soon be debating rais- ing the government's borrow- ing limit again. Any delay in, or opposition to, raising the debt ceiling will inevitably be met with hand-wringing over Con- gress' alleged irresponsibility. But the real irresponsible act would be for Congress to raise the debt ceiling. Cutting up its credit card is the only way to make Congress reduce spending. Anyone who doubts this should listen to the bipartisan whining over how sequestration has so drastically reduced spending that there is literally nothing left to cut. But, according to the Heritage Foun- dation, sequestration has only reduced spending from $3.6 trillion to $3.5 trillion. Only in D.C. would a less than one per- cent spending reduction be con- sidered a draconian cut. Defense hawks have found a way around sequestration by shoving billions of dollars into the Overseas Contingency Op- erations (OCO) account. OCO spending is classified as "emer- gency" spending so it does not count against the spending lim- its, even when OCO is used for items that do not fit any reason- able definition of emergency. Yet, even using OCO to boost military spending by as much as $80 billion does not satisfy the military-industrial com- plex's ravenous appetite for tax- payer dollars. During the majority of my time in Congress, debt ceiling increases were routinely ap- proved. In fact, congressional rules once allowed the House of Representatives to increase the debt ceiling without a vote or even a debate! Congress' need to appear to respond to growing concerns over federal spending has forced it to end the practice of rubber-stamping debt ceiling increases. Continuously increasing spending will lead to rising in- flation as the Federal Reserve tries to monetize the ever-in- creasing debt. This will eventu- ally lead to a serious economic crisis. When the crisis occurs, Congress will have no choice but to cut spending. The ques- tion is not if, but when and un- der what circumstances, spend- ing will be cut. The only alternative for cut- ting spending in response to economic crisis involves Con- gress gradually unwinding the welfare state in a manner that does not harm those dependent on federal programs. Congress will not even consider doing this until enough people have embraced the ideas of liberty to force the politicians to recon- sider the proper role of govern- ment. Those who accept the prem- ises of the welfare statists are incapable of making principled arguments against welfare and entitlement programs. Thus, they can only quibble over spending levels or how to more efficiently manage the federal bureaucracy. While fiscal con- servatives may gain some minor victories with this approach, their failure to challenge the welfare state's morality or ef- fectiveness dooms any effort to seriously curtail welfare state spending. Ron Paul is a former Congressman and Presidential candidate. He can be reached at VoicesofLiberty.com. Ron Paul Debt Ceiling debate ignores warfare-welfare state Bill Cornelius OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Wednesday, October 21, 2015 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A6