Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/578278
50 UCW SEPT. 30 - OCT. 6, 2015 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Wed Blanket I'm very attracted to my co-worker — a self-described "happily married man." We are "friends," but he always has a warm hug, an interesting YouTube video, or a poem or short story he's written to share with me. He has taken me to lunch and has done work for me gratis. If I have car trouble, he connects me to a mechanic and sees I get great work for a great price. Twice he's told me, "I love you." The second time, I responded, "I love you, too, and if you weren't married, I'd take you on!" He then responded, "Previous commitment!" I'm confused as to what's going on in his head. There has been no sex, and he hasn't asked for any. — Huh? There seems to be some evolutionary psychology bubbling up here — specifically, a facet of "error management theory." This is the mouthful of a way that researchers Martie Haselton and David Buss explain how, when we might make an error in judgment, we evolved to make the least costly error. And though women engage in flirtationships, men seem to have evolved to err on the side of not missing a possible mating opportunity. Interpersonal communications researcher David Henningsen points out that the essence of flirting is ambiguity, leading the target to "suspect that sexual interest is being expressed" but not allowing them to really be sure. As for a flirt's goal, predictably, for many in Henningsen's and others' research, it's about "getting some." But some flirting, called "instrumental" flirting, is about getting something else — like getting a discount or getting some free help. As for what may be going on here, Henningsen notes that some flirting is just about having fun or is a way for a person to feel good about themselves. ("She's all over me like ants on a croissanwich!") There's also what Henningsen calls the "exploring" motivation: safely testing what a relationship with somebody new might be like (in case the wife runs off with the census taker). Chances are, this guy is into you but is clinging to fidelity like a shipwrecked rat on driftwood. Maybe try to enjoy this for what it is: free lunch, free work, and referrals to the amazing Carlos at Numero Uno Auto. And try to be grateful for all that he shares with you, like the poetry and short stories that his wife probably (wisely) refuses to read. As for a companion to take you to that dark place with satin sheets, you'll have to find somebody unmarried and available. If this guy is looking to make his wife cry, it seems he'll stick to low- grade relationship misdemeanors, like forgetting her birthday or, when they're in bed, calling her by an old girlfriend's name. Or by the dog's. Copyright AMY ALKON WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD In September, Tennessee Attorney General Herbert Slatery concluded that records of an investigation need not be released to the Memphis City Council — because there was no comma. The law requires the records' release "only in compliance with a subpoena or an order of a court." Slatery said if there had been a comma after "subpoena," a council subpoena would get the records, but without the comma, only court subpoenas. And in July, Andrea Cammelleri prevailed on her parking ticket challenge because there was no comma. A West Jefferson, Ohio, ordinance banned parking of any "motor vehicle camper, trailer." A state appeals judge ruled that, with a comma after "vehicle," Cammelleri's truck would have been banned, but without it, only campers and trailers were. [The Tennessean, 9-3- 2015] [WSYX-TV (Columbus), 7-3-2015] Great Moments in Gerrymandering In April, the City Council of Columbia, Missouri, rigged a specially drawn "Community Improvement District" to pass a sales tax increase. Under the law, if the District had no "residents" to vote, the "election" would be decided by the tax-friendly business owners. However, the Council somehow missed that college student Jen Henderson, 23, actually lived there and had registered to vote, meaning the business owners could not vote and that the tax increase would be decided by ... Henderson. (In late August, the Council "postponed" the election and at press time were in a quandary, as Henderson said she's against higher taxes.) [Columbia Tribune, 8-25-2015, 8-31-2015] The Entrepreneurial Spirit Spike's Tactical of Apopka, Florida, introduced its version of the AR-15 assault rifle this summer "designed to never be used by Muslim terrorists." Laser-etched on one side is a symbol of the Christian Crusades and on the other, language from Psalm 144. Spike's Tactical CEO Angela Register predicted brisk sales: "Men like to accessorize their guns more than women like to accessorize their outfits." [Orlando Sentinel, 9-2-2015] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 You are extra motivated to explore new opportunities this week, Aries. Bring along a trusted advisor who can steer you in the right direction if you have questions. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 It is very important to find balance, Taurus. Many activities are coming up, and you have to figure out a way to juggle them all. This will take some creativity. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, avoid overindulging this week. Even though it may seem like you can never get enough, over time something special may lose its spark. Practice moderation, instead. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, everything will work out the way it should if you keep a smile on your face this week and continue with the status quo. Soon you can shake things up. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you may be compelled to get more involved in your community or a volunteer project this week. A desire to give something back propels your actions. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 You have a soft spot for underdogs this week, Virgo. Anyone who seems to be struggling will have your attention, and you will offer to lend a hand. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, this week presents opportunities to help people or even animals in need. If ever there was a time to take up a cause, now is it. You have plenty of extra time to lend a hand. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, you may find yourself waking up extra early just to accomplish everything you need to get done. Try not to burn the candle at both ends for too long. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, you will enjoy downtime much more after you complete an important task and feel a sense of accomplishment. Rest may still be a few days away, so be patient. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, things may be a little confusing of late, but you will find a clear path to get things done. Ask a friend or colleague to lend a helping hand if things get too hectic. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Relationships are very important this week, Aquarius. Nurture both the personal and professional relationships that you want to grow, and you will be happy you did. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, the earlier half of the week may be hectic, but things will return to an even keel as the days press on. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard Hours: 9am-6pm Mon-Fri 3006 Bragg Blvd. 910.323.1791 CONGRATS to the 2015 Best of Fay Winners! It is our pleasure to imprint and provide your plaques.