Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/47051
Tuesday, November 8, 2011 – Daily News FEATURES Working worries Dear Annie: I am a retired 70-year-old single senior and live on a fixed income. I try to be self- sufficient so I won't have to depend on my children for anything. They have their own financial issues. Two years ago, my daughter, ''Alice,'' asked if I would like to earn some extra money by helping at her workplace in the summers. I agreed, as it is a job I once did many years ago. I only work 10 to 12 days. It's an hour away from my home, so when I'm working, I stay with Alice and her fami- ly. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I have some major expenses coming up and asked the boss for more hours. My request was granted. I also told the boss I do not want to infringe on my daughter's hours and was reassured I would not. However, when I discussed this with Alice, she told me she doesn't like working with me. She feels she always has to look out for me and also has to watch what she says. She added that my staying with her puts a strain on her fam- ily. Annie, I am healthy and can work circles around most of the crew. I understand that Alice has to watch her conversations when I'm there, but I think she could deal with that for those few days a year. I drive separately to work and take lunch alone to give her space. I told Alice she should be happy that I am able to pay my own bills. Otherwise, I'd have to come to her for occasional financial assis- tance. Both options would put stress on our relationship. Is my daughter being selfish, or am I? Is there a compromise? — Confused Senior Dear Confused: Alice did a nice thing, only to discover that the result is harder to deal with than she anticipated. Could you arrange your workdays so they don't coin- cide with your daughter's? Could you drive the hour commute some of the time so you aren't staying with her for two weeks every summer? Is it possible to find another part- time or temp job that will earn you the same amount of money? Talk to Alice, and see whether the two of you can come up with a way to make this work. This job isn't worth alienating your child. Dear Annie: My husband was given up for adoption 61 years ago. Recently, a change in adoption laws permitted him to obtain a copy of his original birth certificate. Through the Internet, I learned that his birth parents married and had four other children. His birth mother is deceased, but his birth father lives nearby, as do three of the siblings. Two months ago, through an attorney, we contacted the father and asked for a medical history. We also said that my husband would be willing to see him. There has been no response. The father is 87, so there's not a lot of time to lose. My husband feels rejected and says to let it go. But he's waited such a long time that I think he should try again, perhaps via the sib- lings. What do you say? — Still Waiting Dear Waiting: It's possible the father is ill or otherwise incapable of responding. Having a relationship is beside the point. A medical history is a reasonable request and is important to have. If you can contact the sib- lings, we think you should do so. Good luck. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ''Tom,'' who is upset because his girlfriend still lists herself as ''single'' on Facebook. An engagement ring on the left hand third finger would probably compel her to change her status. Until then, she is, in fact, single. — Propose Already Dear Propose: Yes, of course, but there is a variety of ways to list your status on Facebook, including ''in a relationship.'' If a girlfriend of eight months insists on being ''single,'' they don't have a promising future. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Thinning skin can cause under-eye puffiness DEAR DOCTOR K: As I get older, I'm noticing unwelcome changes to my appear- ance. Lately the prob- lem that's bothering me most is bags and puffi- ness around my eyes. What's causing this, and what can I do about it? DEAR READER: It's said that old age isn't for sissies, and it's true: Of the many age- related changes we go through, changes to the face can be the hardest to accept. I know, because like you, I also look in the mirror every morning. As we get older, some of the fat under our skin disappears. That may seem surprising, since we fight body fat in other places. With aging, the elastic tis- sue in our skin weakens and the skin gets thinner. With less fat under the skin beneath our eyes, and with thinner and less elastic skin, gravity tugs the skin beneath the lower lids downward. When this skin droops, it causes bags. Thinner and looser skin also allows fluid to collect, causing a puffy appear- ance. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Chances are you've noticed this puffiness is worse when you first get up in the morning. If so, you're witnessing the result of how we sleep. Sleeping in a horizontal position allows fluids to collect around the eyes. Veins under the eyes also expand to hold more blood, which can cause dark under-eye circles. If you were my patient, the red-flag question I would ask you is whether this puffiness goes away as the day wears on. The puffy eyes we get from sleeping poorly, for exam- ple, typically get better during the day. If your puffy eyes don't go away, you should see your doctor. Here's why: Puffy eyes that don't get less puffy as the day goes on can be a sign that you're retaining fluid, which can be a symptom of serious kidney, heart or liver dis- ease. A bad reaction to a new medication can also cause puffy eyes. According to folk wis- dom, placing wet, cool tea bags or cucumber slices on the skin under your eyes will reduce bags, puffiness and dark circles. There's no harm in trying this, but it doesn't work for every- body. The same goes for under-eye creams and oint- ments. But they are worth a try. There are many more treatments to make the skin of our faces younger than there were 25 years ago. Of course, you can take these too far (which celebrity comes to your mind?). My advice is to try the advice above. If you are otherwise healthy, count your blessings whether the treatments work for you or not. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Spokesman says Bieber will take paternity test ATLANTA (AP) — Justin Bieber will take a paternity test and then he plans to sue the woman who has filed a paternity suit against him, a repre- sentative for the teen pop star said Monday. Matthew Hiltzik said the 17-year-old singer will take a paternity test when he returns to the U.S. within the next two weeks. He also said Bieber's team plans to ''vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to protect Justin.'' The paternity suit was filed last week in San Diego Superior Court by Mariah Yeater. She said she had just turned 19 when she and Bieber, then 16, had a brief sexu- al encounter after one of the singer's concerts last fall in a backstage bath- room at Los Angeles' Staples Center. Bieber has said he's never met Yeater and has denied allegations that he fathered Yeater's 3- month-old child. The singer was in London Monday where Bieber fever raged from the west end to the east Monday, as the pop star switched on the Christ- mas lights at the city's two biggest shopping malls. Thousands of young and mostly female fans waited hours for Bieber to appear, first at the Westfield shopping cen- ter in west London, then hours later at the new Westfield Stratford City mall near the 2012 Olympic Park in the east. Bieber traveled the 12 miles between the malls by helicopter. The star, who won two prizes at Sunday's MTV Europe Music Awards in Belfast, told fans that his favorite thing about Lon- don was ''all the girls.'' Bieber, dressed in a gray woolen hat and black leather jacket, said backstage Monday that despite the ups and downs, he was grateful for his fans. ''I take it with a grain of salt. It's been incredi- ble, my fans are amazing and I wouldn't have it any other way,'' he said. 3B