Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/40457
8A Daily News – Saturday, August 27, 2011 FEATURES Messy mother musters much misfortune Dear Annie: My mom has become a handful, and I don't know what to do about her. I am a grown woman, and I feel like I'm raising a teenager. Mom had some financial problems and came to live with me 18 months ago. She helps with some bills when she can, but mostly, I am supporting her. I am very organized, and she is a slob. She misplaces things all the time and claims someone else ''must have put it there.'' I cannot get her to pick up after herself, and if I ask, she gets defensive and it escalates into a fight. My house is crowded with her junk, and she won't part with any of it. Every time we argue, she threat- ens to leave and tells everyone, including her parents, that I am a horrible daughter. Then my grand- parents call and chew me out. I can't go anywhere without her tagging along, including out with friends. My friends are very under- standing, and I try to tolerate her childish behavior, but lately it has taken its toll. Talking to her hasn't helped. I love my mom and don't want to kick her out onto the streets, but she is impossible to live with and unwilling to compromise. Any advice? — Arizona Dear Arizona: Your mother seems to have some mental health issues and possibly a hoarding problem. We think she could bene- fit from therapy. Please make an Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar appointment for her to see her doctor for a complete physical, and go with her. Then ask the doctor for a referral to a therapist. Tell Mom that getting help is a requirement if she wishes to remain in your home. You sound like a loving daughter. The next time your grand- parents chew you out, tell them they are more than welcome to take Mom in and care for her if they don't like the job you are doing. Dear Annie: I'm a 65-year-old single woman, retired on a comfort- able income. I have everything one could want except for friends and a social life. I have taken courses, done volun- teer work and joined groups that interest me in an effort to meet peo- ple, but no relationship progresses beyond the acquaintance stage. Peo- ple never take the next step and invite me over or include me in their activities. I have taken the initiative on many occasions, but it's seldom reciprocated. I don't think it's me. I have one friend who lives near- by, but I have to make all the effort to get together. Senior groups are 10 years too old for me. All I ask is to have someone with whom to enjoy a dinner, go shopping or take a trip. I understand that people are busy, but I do so wish to be included sometimes. Any suggestions? — Lonesome Dear Lonesome: You may be one of those people who needs to make the greater effort in order to have the social life you want. It helps to make yourself an interest- ing companion that people want to be around. Consider traveling to foreign countries with various groups, including the Peace Corps, which has a senior division, or Elderhostel. Closer to home, we recommend the Red Hat Society (redhatsociety.com) at 1-866-386- 2850. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ''Modest in Iowa,'' who does- n't want a male nurse touching her. While I can understand her reac- tion, here's my story. Five years ago, at age 55, I was hospitalized and completely help- less. A male nurse showed up to help me take a shower. I was so upset by my hospitalization that I couldn't even argue with him. And as time went on, I realized that he was a nurse like every other, male or female, and totally professional. I wonder if her boyfriend would refuse the care of a female nurse if he ever found himself in the hospi- tal. — Senior Woman from Penn- sylvania Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Residents restore complex reputation By TOMAS LOARCA Special to the DN For the first half of 2011, Tehama County Building Community Partnerships (BCP) began working with the Brick- yard Creek Apartments in Red Bluff, chosen due to past high risk of Child Protective Services involvement. Manager Kristina James possessed an enthusiasm that infects the community positively. James already had a Sun- day community church meeting and karate class- es and was eager to grow ideas. BCP began by being invited to Brickyard's Christmas Dinner. BCP introduced the program and conducted needs assessment meetings. Tenants wanted to devel- op an art class, dance class, coupon class, lunch program, community gar- den and soccer program. BCP invited communi- ty organizations such as PAL, Young Marines and Drug and Alcohol to help implement the targeted programs. With the help of Keith Burnett, Drug and Alco- hol, a Nurturing Parenting class was created at the apartments. Members of the complex and the com- munity utilized the work- shop. Brickyard planned and developed a community garden. James sought out donations of seeds and gardening tools from the community. Residents held a work party and cre- ated a prolific community garden in the back of the complex. Safety was a big con- cern. Residents formed a neighborhood watch com- mittee and set up resident patrols at the times about which residences were most concerned. CHIP installed security cameras; this increased the sense of a united community look- ing out for each other. A gentleman who had just moved to the area approached BCP and asked for any volunteer opportunities involving cooking. BCP gave his number to Brickyard and together they developed a weekly senior lunch pro- gram. Residents cook and serve the meals to all Brickyard Creek resi- dents, seniors and chil- dren. The lunch program provides drop off service to residents who are homebound due to health issues. This is Brickyard's strongest program to date. This volunteer provid- ed rides for seniors to appointments and a small community pantry was designed for less fortunate residents to gather some simple groceries to help out during tough times. A soccer class was cre- ated across the street at the neighborhood school; it was in existence for seven weeks, the first few weeks were well attended, however due to declining attendance and other commitments this activity was put on hold. To help rally additional resident involvement BCP went to more than 100 apartments and invited or left an invite with each household to attend a BCP sponsored barbecue. A raffle was held with a grand prize of a donated Anti-Hero Skateboard, valued at a $150. About 25 people attended. BCP was able to meet more individuals and spread the word about community driven programs. Resi- dents networked and gave ideas to help the complex. One suggestion was for Brickyard to get a basket- ball hoop so they youth could have something to do. From this, BCP worked with the commu- nity to get a movable bas- ketball hoop. Strong relationships were fostered within the complex. BCP was able to locate backpacks and new school supplies for chil- dren who were in need of the educational supplies. The area has been cleaned up a lot. The manager continues to implement programs on her own accord, which include extreme coupon- ing and a new karate class. When the manager hits challenges she con- tacts BCP for guidance. Brickyard has developed tools so it can continue to function with their estab- lished network and rely upon residents to support each other. BCP has contacted the Red Bluff police to see whether calls and inci- dents to the apartments have changed, but had not yet received this data. BCP is now exploring ways to bring contacts and information to Ran- cho Tehama as several interested residents have been located. For more information, call 528-4038 or 824- 7680. Tomas Loarca is a Child Protective Services Social Worker for the Tehama County Department of Social Services. Free foreclosure workshop offered Legal Services of Northern California is sponsoring a free foreclosure workshop at 10 a.m. on Friday, Sept. 9, at its office, 541 Normal Ave. in Chico. A workshop for credit card debt will be held at 10 a.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 7, at 541 Normal Ave. in Chico. Changing of the Seasons Saturday, August 27th @ 10am What to plant in the coming season Fall Sale Shopping 101 Saturday, September 3rd @ 10am What you need to know before you come shopping our Fall Sale ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fall Sale starts Friday, September 9th thru Sunday, September 18th Red Bluff Garden Center 527-0886 766 Antelope Blvd. (Next to the Fairground) Pre-registration is required for both workshops. Information call 345-9491. Low energy is not linked to blood donation DEAR DR. GOTT: My mother is 82. When she was 80, she gave blood and immediately afterward felt weak and dizzy, even though she had reg- ularly given blood. She now feels this is the cause of her lack of energy. She is concerned that too much blood was taken, and the experience has drained her of energy. She asked me to post this question to you because she knows I'm not a doctor, and she hasn't gotten any useful advice as to how to increase her level of ener- gy from her regular doctor. She likes to work in her yard but tires easily. (Much more so than before the above episode.) What can she do to increase her energy level? DEAR READER: Your mother's lack of energy is not directly related to her giving blood two years ago. Her initial symptoms of weakness and dizziness can occur following donation as the body adjusts to the decreased volume of blood, but those should abate with- in a few hours. An adult body normally contains around 10 pints of blood. During donation, approximately one pint is taken. According to the American Red Cross, this is enough to save three lives (when broken down into its components). Whole blood can be donated every 56 days (eight weeks) because it takes approximately 24 to 48 hours for the body to replace the lost plasma (the fluid the red and white blood cells "float" in) and up to six weeks for the red blood cells to return to a normal level. To combat the lowering of red blood cells after dona- tion, a healthful diet that includes foods high in iron and plenty of fluids should be consumed. (Individuals who would like to learn more can visit the American Red Cross at www.red- cross.org.) Your mother may simply be feeling the effects of aging; however, to be sure that she doesn't have ane- mia, a vitamin deficiency or other underlying cause for her decreased energy level, she should undergo a com- plete physical examination, including blood work if she hasn't already done so. If she has, what were the results? Perhaps this matter should be reviewed with her primary care physician to see if there is any basis for her current problem. She may also benefit from diet modification. You should ensure she is eating at least three balanced meals a day, including fruits, veg- etables, whole grains and lean protein. Protein can be obtained from meats, legumes, peanut butter and tofu. If she finds she has trouble consuming the rec- ommended intakes, try adding a meal supplement such as Boost or Ensure, as well as a good-quality mul- tivitamin to her daily regi- men. DEAR DR. GOTT: I Dr. Peter Gott read your column about debilitating headaches in my local paper. I have had headaches for about 35 years and have found a way to stop them before they start. I take one BC aspirin powder every morning within an hour of waking up, and it lasts all day. I never have any problems with headaches anymore. I've found that it's important to take it within the first hour of waking up; otherwise, you might still get a headache. I have been taking BC powders for 35 years and feel healthy and strong. I hope you will pass this along to others who have headaches of any kind. DEAR READER: BC powder aspirin is simply aspirin and caffeine in a powdered form rather than a tablet. I assume this allows it to work faster, as it takes less time for the stomach to break down the tablet. Be aware that BC powder aspirin has a significant amount of aspirin. It con- tains 845 mg of aspirin vs. a regular aspirin that contains 325 mg or a low dose that contains only 81 mg. According to BC, www.BCPowder.com, the product is primarily avail- able in the southeast United States, but it can be pur- chased online through sev- eral well-known retailers. Anyone interested in try- ing this remedy should know that aspirin does have a mild anticoagulant capa- bility and can cause abnor- mal bruising and easy bleed- ing in some. The risk increases as the dosage increases. It can also cause stomach upset and ulcers, especially when used in conjunction with other non- steroid anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), either pre- scription or over-the- counter. Be sure to speak with your physician before starting it, especially if you are taking other medica- tions, supplements or herbal therapies. Because you have had such positive results over a prolonged period of time, I'm passing on your advice. If readers cannot find the product, I recommend they speak with their pharmacist. He or she may be able to point interested readers toward a comparable brand or be able to order it. Per- haps simply crushing an aspirin/caffeine tablet will provide similar results, but make sure to ask the phar- macist beforehand to ensure that this is OK to do. Readers who are interest- ed in learning more can order my Health Report "Headaches" by sending a self-addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 U.S. check or money order to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039. Be sure to mention the title), or print an order form from my website's direct link: www.AskDrGottMD.com/o rder_form.pdf.