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4A Daily News – Friday, June 24, 2011 Opinion Las Sergas de Esplandián D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Perhaps the indiscretions of our former governor and sitting lieutenant governor are under- standable. After all, our state is named for a romance novel. While I would like to claim Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. Letter policy The Daily News welcomes let- ters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All let- ters must be signed and pro- vide the writer’s home street address and home phone num- ber. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submit- ted will be considered for publi- cation. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong com- munity newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehi- cles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its com- munities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the resi- dents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 a vast vocabulary, giving me the ability to pluck obscure words from memory for the popular, alliterate headlines for Annie’s Mailbox, it’s not always so. As my brother would suggest, it’s half vast. Many days I resort to the thesaurus – in print or online – for just the right word begin- ning with the right letter. Wednesday was just such a day and I stumbled across an entry on dictionary.com. If you word junkies ever find yourselves with a few hours to kill, click on "The Hot Word" tab and you’ll be enthralled. Back to our philandering functionaries. In a 1510 — or 1496, depending on whom you ask — romantic novel by Garci Rodríguez de Montalvo, " Las Sergas de Esplandián" or "The Adventures of Esplandián," an island is named California. Perhaps Montalvo’s fiction- al account of the island will shed some light on the behav- ior of its lascivious leaders. From " Las Sergas de Esp- landián:" "Know that on the right hand from the Indies exists an island called California very close to a side of the Earthly Paradise; and it was populated by black women, without any man existing there, because they lived in the way of the Amazons. They had beautiful and robust bodies, and were brave and very strong. Their island was the strongest of the World, with its cliffs and rocky shores. Their weapons were golden and so were the har- nesses of the wild beasts that they were accustomed to domesticate and ride, because there was no other metal in the island than gold." Strong, beautiful women in abundance, domesticated beasts and streets swimming with gold. Who can blame a guy for tak- ing notice? But to truly under- stand the origins of our fickle functionar- ies, we need to look at the first book of the series by Montalvo, "Amadis de Gaula." Read by Baroque and Renaissance men, the three-volume tome was originally published as early as the 14th Century and was borrowed — in Newsome-esque fashion — by Montalvo. The final installment, though, was invented by Mon- talvo in an act of verisimili- tude. OK, that’s one I plucked from memory. It means realism in literature. Chip Thompson 545 Diamond Ave. This volume stuck with Spanish explor- ers who discovered Baja California and thought it to be an island. God knows why they assumed it was populated solely by lovely, lavish and lively ladies. It would be a few hundred years before we knew gold infest- ed them thar hills. But this, too, came to pass. Our banner bears a bare bear, but should it depict an island of Amazons longing for a man? Seems our romeo representatives would have it so. Chip Thompson can be reached at 527-2151, Ext. 112 or by e-mail at editor@redbluffdailynews.com. Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Jim Nielsen (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 6031 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 319-2002; Fax (916) 319-2102 STATE SENATOR — Doug LaMalfa (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 3070 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 651-4004; Fax (916) 445-7750 GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 558-3160; E-mail: gover- nor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Wally Herger (R), 2635 Forest Ave. Ste. 100, Chico, CA 95928; 893-8363. U.S.SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 393-0710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (415) 403-0100. Fax (202) 224- 0454. Floyd’s Fountain revisited Commentary In Wednesday’s Passing Parade, we wrote of Floyd’s Fountain back in the 1940s and mentioned the large, well-stacked news- stand in their front window. As a sidebar to the story, as I was walking by one day, I spotted a fellow in a loose fitting Hawaiian shirt perusing a magazine. I recognized him from the pages of Strength and Health mag- azine as George Eiferman, Mr. America 1948 and Mr. Universe 1949. Wow, I thought. Wait until I tell the guys in our makeshift gym in the garage behind the Winters’ home on Washington. Emboldened, I went inside and intro- duced myself as a neophyte weightlifter. I asked him what he was doing in Red Bluff. He replied he was on a tour of high schools around the country where he gave talks on how to lead a healthy life. He would also demonstrate his great strength and imposing physique by pressing a hundred-pound bar- bell with one hand while playing the trumpet with the other. He asked if there was a pro- fessional gym in the area, for he was in need of a work out. I said no, but half an hour later he was tossing around heavy weights in our put-together gym. Later, I introduced him to my father, who asked if George could do a strong man act for the Bull Sale Show father was produc- ing. He said yes, but as that year was already booked, nothing ever came of it. When I asked him why he wore the loose fitting shirt, he said that when he wore a T shirt in public, people would stare at his biceps and pecs to the point that he became embar- rassed. The guys in our gym thought they could handle a little embarrassment as a trade off for having such a physique. That was, by the way, before the steroid era made freaks out of body builders. * * * I received a second notice of a “Drive-by Prayer” aimed at our office at Main and Walnut, courtesy of the 150-year-old First Baptist Church. I was going to contact Pas- tor Cloutier and tell him he was, to mix metaphors, barking up the wrong tree. How- ever, I pose the following question to him and eagerly await his response: How is this service accomplished? Does the Pastor per- sonally drive by or is the task delegated to a specialist in this field? Is this a new service for the church, or was it first performed 150 years ago via horse and buggy? If a bystander witnessed this performance, would hand gestures or the sprin- kling of water indicate its completion? I am not vexed...merely curious. * * * If the account of the missing purse, Letters to the Editor, Tuesday’s DN, is at all accurate, our police department is in need of reorganization. Mark Strek, of Portland, Ore. wrote that, in a Red Bluff stop over, his mother’s absentmindedly left her purse on the hood of her car and drove off. It was quickly found and turned in to the Red Bluff Police Department. Mark’s attempt to retrieve it was met with a series of Keystone Cop moves, the result of which his mother apparently has yet to retrieve her purse. The letter, in full, might be found in the DN website. Such bumbling over such a trivial matter. Tsk, tsk, indeed. * * * Heh, heh Department: A 780-year-old relic stolen from a Catholic Church in Long Beach, allegedly belonged to St. Anthony of Padua, the patron saint of...lost objects. I kid you not. * * * We have a local drug problem here in river city, and so a recent commission led by a number of Latin American former presidents is germane to the issue. The report finds that nearly a half century of global policies to combat illegal drugs has backfired, only driving rates of drug use up and creating a black market run by lethal drug cartels. The report suggests rethink- ing of repressive strategies used for decades, and the legalization of cannabis. But somehow, this doesn’t happen. Why is that? Why can’t the cities and counties get their act together and stop prosecuting pur- veyors and users of the stuff? The price would drop dramatically and the violence cease. Supply and demand are such equal- izers. * * * According to a Gallup poll, 92 percent of Americans say they believe in God. This is down from 94 percent when first asked in 1944. Does “Drive by Prayer” con- tribute to this decline? * * * Robert Minch I Say Last week’s quiz was answered promptly and correctly by S. Orner who knew that when the trains met at Promontory Point for the joining of the two railroad networks, Union Pacific’s engine #119 was a coal burner and Central Pacific’s engine was a wood burner. However, the true name of the site is Promontory Summit. This week’s quiz: Com- plete the following saying, “If B.S. were music, Don- ald Trump would be a ____ ____.” Identify Professors Higgins, Marvel and Pierre Aronnax. * * * Rana Foroohar, a contributor to TIME magazine, regarding the economy, says the following statements are myths: 1) This is a temporary blip, and then it’s full steam ahead. 2) We can buy our way out of all of this. 3) The private sector will make it all better. 4) We’ll pack up and move to new jobs. 5) Entrepreneurs are the foundation of the economy. A rather dour outlook, wouldn’t you say? * * * Teenage Caroline stayed out all night and called her mother the next morning. She rat- tled on that she was safe, decided to stay overnight with a girlfriend... and that she didn’t call because it was late, ending with, “Please don’t be mad at me!” The woman on the other end, realizing the caller had the wrong number said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a daughter named Caroline.” “Gee, mom,” said Caroline. “I didn’t think you’d be this mad!” Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff and former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine. He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.