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Since last fall I've been seeing someone who lives in Redding and this has meant making the familiar trek up Interstate 5 and back three or more times each week. Nodoubtmanyofyoumake the round trip each day and have made similar observations about your fellow motorists and their behavior on the road. For those who seldom ply the asphalt between Red Bluff and Redding, or those who make the journey so often they let their minds — and vehicles — wan- der, I thought I'd offer a primer for safe, courteous travel on the interstate. Twolanes Most of the trip between Red Bluff and Redding is made in one of two lanes. Each lane has a specific purpose — they are not there for the sake of variety. The right lane is for driving. The left lane is for passing. If you are not passing, you should be in the right lane. If cars are passing you on the right, you should be in the right lane. If there is a line of cars behind you that you can't see the end of, you should be in the right lane. If somebody ap- proaches rapidly from behind and then has to pass you on the right, don't give that person a dirty look because you should be in the right lane. Merging If you are on the freeway and in the right lane, meaning you are not passing, you are king of the hill. You have the right of way over those entering the freeway. Fortunately, for those merging, there are a number of things they can do to prevent being run over. First, you are entering a free- way meaning before you are on the freeway you should be driv- ing at or very near freeway speed — in this case 70 mph. Merging at 40 mph not only forces everyone else on the road to dodge you, it could result in you being run over. Second, because vehicles al- ready on the freeway have the right of way, this sometimes means you will have to slow down or speed up to not wind up in the same space they oc- cupy. It's your responsibility to do so. Again, don't flash a dirty look or middle digit because you're expected to do your job. Finally, use extra caution around big rigs. I think every- one should have to drive 20 miles on a freeway behind the wheel of an 18-wheeler before being granted a license because too many drivers have no idea that semis don't turn, acceler- ate and, especially, stop like other vehicles. Before you wedge your pop can of a hatchback two feet off the front bumper of a Ken- worth doing 65 mph, just know the person behind the wheel only has so much control over 80,000 pounds of steel and rub- ber. Truckers Just one request — after all, you're professional drivers and don't need me telling you how to do your jobs. When it comes to passing a fellow big rig, don't do it if the pass cannot be com- pleted in fewer than five miles. If it takes you that long to get around the other truck, maybe you'd make about the same time just settling in behind it. Tailgaters None of us likes them — the folks that decide the most effec- tive way to make their point is endangering their own life and the lives of those around them. On the other hand, if you're not passing and not driving in the right lane, you share some of the responsibility. But when it comes to life and death, it really doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong. If you see someone approach- ing rapidly from behind — those mirrors allow you to see behind your vehicle, not just check your hair or make up — chances are that person will tailgate you unless you move over. Be the bigger person and give up the lane. You'll live long and the other guy can take his chances. Wannabe cops A handful of drivers out there have decided it is their duty to enforce traffic rules. They get into the left lane and drive the exact speed limit, adopting the self-righteous at- titude that anyone wanting to pass them would be breaking the law, so they are generously providing a public service. No, they're being jerks. You and I pay good money to hire professional law enforce- ment to, get this, enforce laws. They don't need your help. #drivers<3 If you're drifting into the next lane, speeding up and slowing down erratically and bobbing your head up and down rhythmically, you're ei- ther drunk or texting. Neither is safe. Most of us wouldn't dream of climbing behind the wheel in- toxicated, so why do so many of us think nothing of responding to a text while barreling down the interstate? A good way to prevent re- flexively reading and respond- ing to a text while on the road is to put your phone in your purse or pants pocket where you don't have easy access to it. Then when you hear the bing or bong or chirp or buzz, you can take a second before digging for it to ask yourself, "Is whatever this message says worth dying, or killing, for?" The message will be there when you get to your destina- tion. Not answering it while driving will help ensure the same is true of you. Disclaimer I am not now, nor have I ever been trained in law enforce- ment and have no more than a pedestrian knowledge of the vehicle code. This column was meant to be fun and maybe re- mind motorists that their be- havior affects others sharing the road with them. Be alert, take your time and enjoy the drive. You'll arrive in a better mood and the roads will be safer for all of us. ChipThompsoncanbereachedat 530 527-2151, Ext. 112 or by email at editor@redbluffdailynews.com. ChipThompson Two Lane University Cartoonist's take I say that my text in Wednesday's Pass- ing Parade fell a little short regarding the late George Froome, for his life history would not be complete without men- tioning that he and our group won a prize in the Red Bluff Roundup Kid- dies' Parade circa 1940. The Kiddies' Parade, discontin- ued here about 3 or 4 years ago, was quite popular in our day, and was held the Saturday before the Grand Roundup Parade. Anyhow, our gang decided to enter it…all six of us. The theme we chose was of the lead- ers of the Axis faction of Ger- many, Italy and Japan during the early years of WWII. Eddy Er- win sported a little mustache as Hitler and walked ahead of the group playing with a large ball with a photo of the earth on it and shouting "It's mine! All mine!" Eddy was often a little off- the- wall anyway. I was Hirohito dressed up in a kimono. Dave Sale was a guard with a toy gun and George portrayed Mussolini. For maximum effect, he was na- ked except for his underpants, and wore only a barrel with sus- penders. One other student car- ried a sign which read "Bringing Home the Bacon….former pigs!" I can still see George in that get up after all those years. Much later, as a teacher, George's stu- dents would probably never guess he would resort to such tom foolery…but he did. ••• Regarding the 90 years ago item last week, one of the newly appointed traffic officers for Te- hama County was Minor Carter of Los Molinos. The article did not indicate that he was a Cal- ifornia Highway Patrolman. Maybe that came later, but I don't recall how he came by the name "Minor." Anyway, in my day, he was noted as a no non- sense officer and one not to be bribed or trifled with if he was handing you a traffic ticket. I think Officer Carter was the guy who nailed me in a Jag- uar convertible coming down the long grade into Red Bluff on old highway 99. This was way before the I-5 freeway. I had borrowed my sister's boyfriend's green Jag, and wanted to see how fast the sucker would go. I "pegged" the speedome- ter at 120 miles per hour. This was foolish, of course, but especially in a convert- ible with no roll bar. Any- how, as I was slowing down coming down north Main, I saw a red light in my rear view mirror. I pulled over and parked. Minor Carter saun- tered over to the Jag, pushed his cap back, leaned over and said, "Jezzus! How in the hell fast were you going? I've been try- ing to catch up with you since 9 mile hill." I explained that I was just tak- ing a test run and I would never try a stunt like that again. He grimaced and said, "For your sake, I hope not"…and wrote me up for going 80. A dumb stunt. Kids, don't try this. Period. ••• A sharp eyed reader of an ar- ticle in the DN, noted School Su- perintendent candidate C. Allen responding to his little resume padding. Charles ended his de- fense by saying, "I'm trying to be honest." The reader responded, "Well, hell, I'm trying to be rich." ••• Something else I didn't know department: The Supreme Court will soon wrestle with discrimination by companies who refuse to do busi- ness with gay and lesbians based on the owner's religious be- liefs. In The New Yorker maga- zine recently, the letters "LGBT" were used without translation as though readers knew their meaning. I guess I am not as hip as I thought. The letters stand for a "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender," a Human Rights organization. Perhaps one of our local columnists knows of them… but would be an unlikely sup- porter of same. ••• Did you know that the last un- fortunate attempt to divide this state was 73 years ago sponsored by Senator Randolph Collier and Judge John L. Childs? Their ef- fort ended with the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941. ••• More by Mark Twain: "It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three un- speakably precious things: free- dom of speech, freedom of con- science, and the prudence never to practice either of them." ••• "It's time to let teenagers drink again. The age-21 rule pushes kids toward pills and other antisocial behaviors." Ca- mille Paglia. Nope, don't think so, Camille. Best lead the un-enhanced life, kid …and get your highs from laughter and contact with those role models who eschew ciga- rettes, drink and injections. Life is short enough without ply- ing oneself with temporary and harmful fixes. Does that sound sanctimo- nious? Yep, but a longer life is the best arbiter of the wisdom of moderation in all things. ••• Last week's quiz was an- swered first by N. Rick who re- ported that authors and creators of famous sleuths were, Simon Templar by Leslie Charteris, Travis McGee by John D. Mac- donald, Sam Spade by Dashiell Hammett, Philo Vance by S.S. Van Dine aka William Hunting- ton Wright and Nick Charles by Dashiell Hammett. This week's quiz: What was Doc Holliday's full name, Dr. Frankenstein's first name and give the first names the three baseball DiMaggio brothers. ••• Ah, the passion for golfing. A man walked into a dentist office and said, "I'm in a terri- ble hurry. I have two buddies sit- ting out in the car waiting to play golf. I want you to pull a tooth. I don't have time for an anesthetic and don't have time for the gums to get numb. Just pull it and be done with it. We have a 10 a.m. tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already." The dentist thought this was a very brave man asking to have a tooth pulled without anything to kill the pain, so he asked, "What tooth is it, sir?" The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, honey, and show him…" Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com. Robert Minch Gone but not forgotten, George Froome memories live on Most of us wouldn't dream of climbing behind the wheel intoxicated, so why do so many of us think nothing of responding to a text while barreling down the interstate? Sounding off Alookatwhatreadersaresayingincommentsonourwebsiteandonsocialmedia. Ummm.Thisfirefighterisnotwearingany PPE (Personal protection equipment). He's probably gonna take some heat for this. Arden Parker: Comment on photo that ran with the story about downed power lines We were stuck on freeway, backed up to 9 mile hill. We took Hwy. 36to Baker Road to get home. Edie Steward: Story about downed power lines that closed I-5Wednesday a ernoon Greg Stevens, Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIAL BOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@red bluffdailynews.com Phone: 530-527- 2151ext. 112 Mail to: P.O. 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