Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/250522
Wednesday, January 29, 2014 – Daily News Boyfriend fibs details of road trip with female co-worker DEAR CAROLYN » The other day, I discovered my boyfriend had lied to me about riding with a girl co-worker to a college football game in another state (he claims they only drove together, and didn't see each other at any other point during the weekend). He has apologized profusely and said he never told me because he didn't Carolyn want me Hax to think Ask Carolyn anything was going on between them when it wasn't. Would this be considered a white lie? Or just a flat-out lie? And when is it considered OK to lie in order to protect someone's feelings? I have a feeling he should have told me the truth in this situation. — Wary Girlfriend DEAR WARY GIRLFRIEND » Of course he should have. Boyfriend of how long? DEAR CAROLYN » We have been "talking" for more than a year now, but he was hesitant to start a new relationship because his old one of three years didn't end so well. But we have been officially dating only five months. — Wary Girlfriend again DEAR WARY GIRLFRIEND » That helps. The short answer is, flat-out lie. The long answer starts here: You're new to each other, he's been burned before, and the details of your story (hitching rides, "girl co-worker") point to a high probability of youth. There are few circumstances where flat-out lies aren't a serious problem, but being young and insecure in a new relationship can be one of them. Some people hit adulthood ready to tell the whole truth about themselves without fear of rejection or other repercussions, but in my experience they're the exception. For many young people (and some old ones), fear of consequences is powerful motivation to spin. Of course, spinning backfires: If seeing the real versions of each other would break you up, then you don't belong together in the first place. So. If your boyfriend in fact didn't stray but genu- inely feared your reaction, and if experience taught him to associate truthtelling with punishment, then that would mitigate his lie. Once. If he's telling the truth now, he can be forgiven, once, for misjudging you as someone who preferred a sanitized version of events. Once, because now you establish who you are. You apparently want complete honesty, so say that: No matter how bad the truth, it beats a lie. Live it, too — both by being truthful yourself and by receiving hard truths gracefully. A lot of people demand honesty but then greet it with rage or silent treatments or a thousand verbal paper cuts whenever the subject comes up. Don't be that girlfriend. (Or the self-consciously "cool one"; that's another column.) Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. 5C BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman Brian Crane PICKLES Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol WEDNESDAY, JAN. 29 Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Avoid having secret affairs or getting sucked in to dealing with other people's problems. You should work quietly tucked away somewhere — preferably in the privacy of your home. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Co-workers may be unusually challenging to deal with today. Someone you'd never suspect may be after your job or just trying to get you out of the way. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Travel or educational pursuits will foster romantic opportunities. You will be in the mood to get out and socialize with friends. Mental stimulation will be important to you at this time. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Minor health problems will arise if you haven't taken the Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER necessary precautions. Do not get involved in joint financial endeavors. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Travel and romance will go together perfectly. You will enjoy unfamiliar destinations that will further amplify the sentimental mood that is overtaking you. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Take full advantage of any business opportunities that are available to you. You can make professional changes now if you so desire. Your winning attitude will vastly improve your chances for advancement. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Romantic opportunities will develop if you attend a social event. You stand to gain financially by participating in a group venture. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — New love connections will develop through friends or relatives. Completing a home decorating project that you've Scott Hilburn been dreaming about will yield wonderful results. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Special relationships will evolve through pleasure trips or participating in sports activities. You will feel passionate and be quite capable of using your charm to get whatever you may want. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Your moneymaking ideas may well pay off. You will approach your pursuits with creativity. Refrain from going overboard spending on your lover. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You may be confounded by the state of your finances all of a sudden. Avoid spending money on any unnecessary items. Unanticipated bills may crop up and surprise you. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Self-deception may cause problems for you. Reflect carefully on a situation that you may be misjudging. One-sided romantic infatuations are evident. NEA Crossword