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4B – Daily News – Tuesday, January 18, 2011 FEATURES Pop’s patting pesters Dear Annie: My father has a habit of touching me when he talks. He’ll tap my hand or leg, and he often touches my arm when it’s unnecessary. I’ve told him many times that I don’t like it, but he gets quite unhappy if I ask him to stop. He’s done this since I was a kid, and I’m 33 now. Once, when I was 13, he kept tapping his leg against mine under the table at an outdoor restaurant. I couldn’t tol- erate it and moved my leg away. My father flew into a rage, snarling and gritting his teeth and telling me I had a ‘‘dis- gusting habit.’’ YEARBOOK This would probably be it: If Red Bluff had a Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I am going to my parents’ house tomorrow and am not looking forward to it. I have to remember not to sit near Dad and to stand at least two feet away when he speaks to me. The problem is that while he’s talking, he moves closer and then starts tapping me. It infuriates me that he won’t stop no matter how many times I’ve asked him to. Here’s what I suspect: My father considers me his property. He wants to be able to put his hands on me the way one does with a pet. When I ask him to stop, he is insult- ed as if his property is being taken from him. I also suspect he taps me because he thinks I’m not listening and needs to keep my attention. I avoid my parents as much as possible and don’t speak to my father unless it is absolutely necessary. Do other readers have this prob- lem? — Son who is Wondering Dear Son: It is com- mon for parents to touch their children when speaking to them. In most instances, it is a sign of affection. We can understand, however, THE City and County Information Recreation Guide Local places of interest City Map & Street Guide Schools Directory Church Guide Public Services Calendar of Events …and more! Glossy stock Magazine Format 10,000 distribution 7,000 as a special insert to the 3000 print for distribution to visitors, new and prospective residents through Chambers of Commerce, hotels and Information Centers D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY 24/7 presence online version on www.redbluffdailynews.com for a full year, with links provided to Chamber of Commerce, RB City and County websites. Businesses: Make sure YOU are part of it! Advertising Space Reservation Deadline: Friday, February 4 at 5 PM Advertising Representative Today! 527-2151 Call your Daily News www.expresspros.com 530-527-0727 243 So. Main Street Local WINDOW & DOOR SHOP “Let us serve you” ★ Sales ★ Installation ★ Custom Doors ★ Pre-Hanging ★ Matching Molding & Trim Packages ENERGY EFFICIENT WINDOWS 1040 B Monroe St., Red Bluff (530) 527-7962 Respecting People. Impacting Business Call us. And get back to work. Call us any time for: • An extensive network of recruiting sources • Testing and training • Experienced recruiters • Full-time employees • HR expertise and support services • Temporary Workers • Evaluation hire • Carefully screened candidates • Dedicated service Active Senior Citizens A Retirement Community for the LIC#659256 how constant tapping could be annoying, although your reaction seems out of proportion. If Dad is tapping your arm to keep your atten- tion from drifting, you can work on getting him to stop, but it requires that you put a lid on your level of hostility. Try talking to him, saying that you love him but it makes you extremely uncomfortable to be touched constantly. Remind him gently when he starts up. Dear Annie: What are your views on older women dating younger men? I am 56, and he is 36. He first asked me to marry him 10 years ago, but I broke it off, think- ing I was doing him a favor. I then married someone else, hoping he would find someone his age. He did, but that marriage didn’t last. Nei- ther did mine. Am I being selfish? Is there any possibility that we could be happy together? My family has given us their blessing, but his is another story. I love him enough to let him go if you think I should. — Happy but Older Dear Happy: The only question is whether or not he wants biologi- cal children. No mar- riage is a sure thing. Yours doesn’t come with fewer guarantees than any other. Our best wish- es and congratulations. Dear Annie: This is in response to ‘‘Gagging in California,’’ who can’t stand being around peo- ple who smoke. She should be honest and forthright. When our daughter was pregnant with her first child, she and her husband told us we’d be babysitting every other weekend. It never hap- pened. I found out by chance that my son-in- law didn’t want their child around us because we smoke. Our son-in-law avoids our home whenever pos- sible. I love my grand- son, but we are closer to our other grandchild because we get to see him more often. Then my daughter complains that we are showing favoritism. Had they spoken with us about this in the beginning, it still would have hurt, but at least we could have had an honest discussion. My husband and I thought we raised our children to behave like adults. Obviously not. — San Bernardino, Calif. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast. net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Do You Suffer From . . . Constant Low Back Pain; Sciatica (Pain Down Your Leg(s); Numbness and Tingling in Your Legs; Spinal Stenosis; Failed Surgery; Failed Epidurals; Poor Drug Management; Can’t Function on Drugs? 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Main Street • Red Bluff • 527-4588 COME TO US FOR ALL YOUR PET SUPPLIES! FREE SPINAL DECOMPRESSION Daily activity induces hives DEAR DR. GOTT: I am begging for help, please. I am 73 years old and have lost 120 pounds on Weight Watchers. My prob- lem is that when I walk, take a bath, get excited, angry or upset, I break out in hives that look like measles. And they’re so itchy! I have been to a few doctors, and they tell me to take antihistamine tablets, but I cannot tolerate them. I need to walk to keep my weight down and my “new” knees working. This started four years ago after having bilateral knee replacement, but I’m not sure if there is any connec- tion. I walked three miles a day before but cannot do that any longer. I know you are busy but hope you will reply. I am willing to try anything. DEAR READER: Hives are red or white, raised, itchy welts that appear on the skin. They can be either acute or chronic. Acute hives can last from several minutes to up to six weeks. Chronic hives last longer — perhaps for more than six months. As a gener- al rule, hives are harmless and don’t leave any lasting marks, even when left untreated. A condition known as angioedema resembles hives but is more serious. It occurs deeper in the skin and can present with swelling, blis- ters, pain, abdominal cramp- ing, severe swelling of the face, arms, hands, legs, feet and genitalia and, in severe cases, difficulty swallowing and/or breathing. Both conditions are trig- gered when mast cells release histamine and other chemicals into the blood- stream and skin. Causes might include exposure to latex, pollen, animal dander, insect stings, shellfish, nuts, most medications, heat, cold, sunlight, emotional stress, exercise and a host of other possibilities. Hives and angioedema can occur in response to the body’s pro- duction of antibodies because of immune-system disorders such as cancer, Dr. Peter Gott lupus, some thy- roid disorders, hepatitis and other infections, and the common cold. Hereditary angioedema is linked with low levels or the abnormal func- tioning of specif- ic blood proteins that play a rule in regulating how the immune system functions. If symptoms of either condition occur regularly and your physician cannot determine the cause, try a patch test, where an allergen is applied to the patch that is placed on the skin. Latex and medication reactions might be discovered. An intrader- mal test uses purified aller- gen extracts that are injected into the skin of the arm and will likely determine whether a person is allergic to one or more substances, such as penicillin or insect venom. Testing that punc- tures, scratches or pricks the skin should identify food, pollen, animal dander and reactions to other sub- stances. Treatment includes over-the-counter diphenhy- dramine, loratadine, ceti- rizine and chlorpheniramine; the application of cool, wet compresses; bathing with tepid water sprinkled with baking soda and/or uncooked or colloidal oat- meal; and prescription levo- cetirizine, hydroxyzine and desloratadine. Severe cases might require the use of an oral corticosteroid. It appears your hives might be triggered primarily by physi- cal and emotional stress. Consider yoga or tai chi instead of walking. Experi- ment with different water temperatures and soaps when bathing. Try to reduce your exposure to emotional- ly charged situations, and practice relaxation tech- niques such as meditation or deep breathing. When some- thing triggers the hives, make a mental note (or keep a journal) and avoid it in the future. In other words, take whatever steps are necessary to reduce your stress level. EVERYDAY 9:00am to 6:00pm OPEN January 31, 2011 Good through