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6A Daily News – Friday, March 29, 2013 Opinion Fireworks DAILY NEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMA COUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U NTY S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. South Park Editor: In this past weekends USA Weekend March 22-24 2013 there was an article to enter a July 4th fireworks spectacular for your town. I immediately thought of Red Bluff as we did not have a display last year, much to everyone's disappointment. They are offering two towns a fireworks spectacular and I want Red Bluff to be one of them. To enter: go to DestinationAmerica.com and write in 250 words or less why we deserve to win this contest. I hope we have an overwhelming response so we can win. There is something so magical about fireworks and to see the sky light up. We want people to be able to continue this tradition and put our patriotism on display. Joanne Ehorn, Red Bluff Editor I love South Park. South Park is the only thing on television (after Lexx). South Park is horrible. It's terrible. And it's wonderful. I'm getting a little crazy because I haven't seen it lately. I need South Park to stay sane. Red Bluff is a super place to develop South Park scripts from because it is so hospitable and allows so much more shallow gene pool activity than most other small towns. It tolerates some really, really stupid stuff. Like the Polson ant crawling up the elephant's leg with intellectual rape on its mind. On the one hand you've got, what? That national institution known sagely as A Real Estate Sales School. Consisting of 8 hours. Then the appreciation that a broker keeps all the listings that they have driven their poor agents to spend all their time getting and stay with the broker if and when the agent finally gives it up. Voila. Upper the Tea Party looking at the govmiddle, here I come. And in the other corner. Four ernment debt which is about 1/3 years minimum in the Ahard of the $44 trillion private debt. Obviously, the much smaller part, science. Not the political science blur for the uninterested public debt has many more and unmotivated, or at least, cooties that the debt three times as large and which bureaucratic job seeker. caused the large public And somehow, AmeriYour debt. Very bad cooties. can 8 hours of work is I don't think I want to going to overcome hear the description of American 4 years plus exactly what those of work. This is why I cooties might be like. need South Park. This only makes sense in South Park. They obviously carry weight. South Park is a caricature of the Enough weight to turn matheshallower end of the gene pool. matics on its head. Need to watch South Park It's a caricature of what Red yet? Is this low end of the gene Bluff tolerates. The real world: 238 years after pool thing really Red Bluff hoswe did one of the greatest thefts pitality? Or, as some others might of Tea Party luvin' private prop- surmise, Koch driven wells into a erty of all time, specifically the ATuscan aquifer of inbreeding? Atlantic seaboard from poor How do the slow aquifer tides King George of England, includ- swing in that far underground of ing murdering the people he sent the unconscious? But South Park will do to retrieve his private property; the oligarch owned banks are cooties. And I'm waitin' to see it. Tehama does it better. about $8-12 trillion in the black James Bryant, Red Bluff while everybody else is in private debt red. And the oligarch has got Turn Letter policy The Daily News welcomes letters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submitted will be considered for publication. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong community newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehicles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its communities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the residents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Dan Logue, 1550 Humboldt Road, Ste. 4, Chico, CA 95928, 530-895-4217 STATE SENATOR — Jim Nielsen, 2635 Forest Ave., Ste. 110, Chico, CA 95928, (530) 879-7424, senator.nielsen@senate.ca.gov GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 5583160; E-mail: governor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Doug LaMalfa 506 Cannon House Office Building, Washington, DC 20515, 202-2253076. U.S. SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 3930710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (510) 286-8537. Fax (202) 224-0454. Commentary Sick transit gloria? The cover of the March 11th issue of the New Yorker magazine, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI is depicted at leisure in his retirement. The drawing shows him in a hammock at beachside. He is wearing only his tall mitre and his bathing trunks. He has been reading newspapers with headlines in which words such as "Scandal", "Outrage" "Disgrace" and "Cover Up" appear. The drawing is titled "Sic Transit Gloria Mundi", which translates: "Thus passes the glory of the world" or "Worldly things are fleeting". Question: Can an individual or a national magazine (a) go too far in poking fun at a revered religious figure…or (b) is there nothing sacred in this day and age? The correct answer, for a humorist, is (b). *** I am toting about a 70 year old, well-travelled brief case. This is more of a decision of nostalgia rather than penury. It has embossed on one side, "MINCH'S WHOLESALE MEATS". My father purchased it in the early 1940's after the OPA required him to journey to San Francisco monthly to allow him to continue in business and price his products accordingly. The Office of Price Administration was a very frustrating experience for him in that he was forced to talk to men in suits who had no idea what it took to run a slaughterhouse. However, as much of our processed beef was shipped to training camps, he was usually successful in persuading the suits that his product pricing provided a living wage for his employees. Anyhow, the dilapidated briefcase now holds memories more reliably than documents. A "SanDisk" insert apparently fell from a hole in the case and landed in front of our office at Main and Walnut. Gary Ramsey, of Ramsey Jewelers, retrieved it, determined that it contained computer information regarding our book about the meat business "The Knocking Pen", and returned it forthwith. Because of that incident, I must find a way to continue packing my nostalgic briefcase about without strewing the sidewalks with documents. My next move is to take it to, say, Dave's Boot shop on Antelope, and see if he can repair it. If not, then find a replacement briefcase and ask him to peel off one side of the old one...and stitch it onto the new case. In this manner I shall preserve the name of our long gone enterprise while transporting lesser items of the present. Seems a worthwhile compromise. *** If you find, after reading this column, and that of others in the DN, late at night does not induce sleep, then I suggest you read the article in the New Yorker issue of March 11th by Elizabeth Kolbert titled, "UP ALL NIGHT... the science of sleeplessness". I sent a copy to a fellow in the legal profession who has suffered from sleeplessness a good part of his adult life, but as of now, he has not responded if he found anything of value in the piece. On the other hand, he may be fast asleep at the moment. But, I digress.... Amongst the article's usual suspects of sleeplessness … too much light, too much warmth, eating too much or too late, the author came to one conclusion of which we cannot abide. He writes that tests have shown that a person sleeps better alone! This is heresy to long married couples who, despite the vogue for twin beds as depicted in sophisticated films of the 30's, opted for a double. Thus they were guaranteed cozy sleeping on cold winter nights. The missus and I approach to pet accommodations. Murray Clyde, for example, heartedly endorse a very large indoor this method dog pad on which of bundling to he snoozes after those in the dinner. When it is bed market. bedtime, he goes to This subject his Dogaloo on the reminds us of front porch after a mother's great deal petting favorite home and telling him nite decorating nite Such is the life story. of the pampered Father Robert pet. worked long *** hours at the Last week's quiz meat plant. was not succinct in Knowing this, that many responhe opted for ders such as N. twin beds so Rick, S. Rodriques as not to disturb mother when coming home and others offered names of Draglate at night from work. However, net actors in T.V. as well as radio. he did not reckon on mother's dec- My thought was just for the T.V. orating impulses. She deiced to series which had, as Jack Webb's rearrange the furniture in their bed- sidekicks, Ben Alexander and then room causing the beds to be situat- Harry Morgan. The voice over ed in unfamiliar positions…and was, "This has been a true story. failed to alert father regarding the Only the names have been move. Late that night he entered changed to protect the innocent." This week's quiz: Name the the bedroom in the dark and, dead tired, hurled himself onto his bed only 3 recognized or official sports only to land solidly on the cold invented in the United States...one floor. Taught from an early age not being of particular local interest. *** to blaspheme, he shouted his A man shot a woodpecker one favorite oath, "Good gosh damn!" Mother said later she regretted the day. A friend asked why he'd done moment was not captured on film. such a dastardly deed. The man answered "I got tired of saying *** Speaking of sleep, sources say 'Come in'!" 56% of American dog owners sleep with their pet dog snoozing right next to them in bed! This is Robert Minch is a lifelong not the case with us. Being a big dog owner sets the stage for a no resident of Red Bluff, former pet on the bed policy. They try columnist for the Corning Daily from time to time, but when con- Observer and Meat Industry fronted they de-bed promptly. Of magazine and author of the "The course, if they are afraid of the Knocking Pen." He can be at thunder and lightning on a stormy reached rminchandmurray@hotmail.com. night, then they might be allowed the ascent. We take a half way Minch I Say