Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/713340
AUGUST 10-16, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Look On The Always Right Side I'm a Harvard- educated man in my late 30s. I've had many ugly arguments with girlfriends, probably because I am highly opinionated and won't give in when I'm right. I've always dated smart, professional women around my age, but I'm now dating a 21-year-old girl, and I'm thinking this could be it. She doesn't complain, bug me or question/ challenge me. It strikes me that having a partner who challenges you is overrated. Could this be a lifelong relationship? Can't I just pursue intellectual discussions elsewhere? — Peaceful This actually might make some sense. After all, conflict is bad, right? Well, not exactly. It turns out that there's good conflict and there's bad conflict. Bad conflict involves the stuff of "ugly arguments" — sneering, mocking and getting up on moral high ground. Good conflict, on the other hand, involves getting (and giving) healthy pushback — which means being what Nassim Taleb calls "antifragile." In Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder, risk researcher Taleb, a former derivatives trader, explains that antifragile is "the exact opposite of fragile" — but it goes beyond "resilience or robustness." Antifragile describes the way living things are improved by stressors — becoming better, stronger and more able to cope with difficult, unpredictable stuff that comes their way. Beyond how being challenged improves you as a person, marriage researcher John Gottman finds that the happiest, most stable relationships are those in which husbands accept "influence" from wives, making wives "far less likely" to go ugly in disagreements. This starts with what Gottman calls deep friendship — love between two equals with mutual respect. Your welcoming opinions and influence from a partner — this woman or a more challenging (but still loving and good-natured) woman — starts with having humility, which those frail of ego tend to see as a sign of weakness. The truth is, it takes a strong person to admit that he may be wrong and maybe doesn't know everything in the known universe (and any yet-to-be- discovered galaxies). Should this come to describe you, you might start to see the appeal of a woman with more to say than those "three little words" — "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh." Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD A conser vat ion biolog ist at Aust ra lia's Universit y of New Sout h Wa les said in July t hat his team was headed to Bot swana to paint eyeba lls on cows' rear ends. It 's a solut ion to t he problem of far mers who are now forced to k ill endangered lions to keep t hem away f rom t heir cows. However, t he researchers hy pot hesize, since lions hunt by stea lt h and tend to pass up k ills if t he prey spot s t hem, paint ing on eyeba lls might t r ick t he lions to choose ot her prey. ( For t he same reason, woodc ut ters in India wear mask s painted w it h faces — back ward — for protec t ion against t igers.) [Sydney Morning Herald, 7-6 -2016] Can't Possibly Be Tr ue A Gover nment Prog ram T hat Ac t ua lly Work s: A motor ist in Reg ina, Sask atchewan, was issued a $175 t raf f ic t icket on June 8 af ter he pulled over to ask if he could assist a homeless beg gar on t he sidewa lk . According to t he police repor t cited by CT V News, t he " beg gar " was ac t ua lly a cop on st a keout look ing for dr ivers not wear ing seat belt s (who would t hus pay t he cit y $175). Dr iver Dane Rusk said he had unbuck led his belt to lean over in t he seat to g ive t he " beg gar " $3 — and moment s later, t he cop's par t ner stopped Rusk (t hus ear ning Reg ina a tot a l of $178!). [CT V News, 6 -10-2016] One of A mer ic a's major concer ns, according to a U. S . cong ressman, should be t he r isk t hat if an apoc a ly pt ic event occ urs and we are forced to abandon Ear t h w it h only a few species to prov ide for humanit y 's sur v iva l, NA SA might unw isely populate t he space "ark " w it h same-sex couples instead of procreat ive ma le-fema le pairs. T his war ning was conveyed dur ing t he U. S . House session on May 26 by Tex as Cong ressman Louie Gohmer t (who seemed not to be aware t hat gay ma les might cont r ibute sper m to lesbians for species-cont inuat ion). [New York Daily News, 5-27-2016] COPY R IGHT CHUCK SHEPPA R D ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 You're very good at marching to the beat of a different drummer, Aries. But keep in mind that sometimes it's advantageous to follow along with what others are doing. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you hope that others appreciate what you are doing for them this week. You may not get a verbal thank-you, but expect some to show their appreciation in other ways. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, many people are willing to lend you a helping hand when you need one. Make the most of their generosity, and then give back whenever possible. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, enjoy the fruits of your labor this week. You worked hard, and now is a great time for you to rest, relax and catch up with some old friends. Good times are ahead. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, leave room for others to share their opinions after expressing your own. It never hurts to see another's point of view, and a loved one's opinion may prove enlightening. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, a heavy workload may force you to regroup and start over next week when you have more energy and inspiration. This is just a temporary setback. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, now is the time for a change, however big or small that change ultimately may be. You may benefit from adoptiong a new hobby or changing careers. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Your life can't always be a bundle of excitement, Scorpio. Sometimes you have to sit back and enjoy those periods that are not so on-the-go. Relish in the slower pace. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, others are looking to you for advice this week. Give any inquiry the thoughtful consideration it deserves, doing your best to take others' concerns to heart. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, even if you have a million ideas running through your head, push them aside in favor of some much-needed rest. You need to take some time for yourself. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, embrace the coming days as a chance to distinguish yourself at work. Extra work presents an opportunity to put your value to the company on display. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Romance is in the air, Pisces. Enjoy this exciting time and take things slowly at first. Enjoy the slow pace and get to know your new love interest. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard Join Us Every TUESDAY Morning 8:30am - 10:00am A Women's Business Networking Group Between Us Girls Meeting to be held at Let Me Cater to You 445 Westwood Shopping Center For More Information Contact Keri Dickson 910.584.4121 Keri@UpAndComingWeekly.com