Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JULY 6-12, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Fasten Your Deceit Belt I'm a 44-year-old woman who's been dating a successful actor for a year. When we met, he told me he was 35. Well, in picking up a prescription for him, I discovered he's actually 42! I'm relieved — but miffed that he lied. I've felt uneasy about being so much older (especially because his previous girlfriend was 24). He said he'd been meaning to say something and he was glad I found out. He explained that as an actor, it's important to be viewed as young. (His agent doesn't even know his real age.) He seems to be a good person, but I'm wondering what else he's lied about. I don't lie, and I don't want to be with someone who is a liar. — Worried The truth is, we all lie — yes, all of us — which is why social psychologist Bella DePaulo explains in her research on lying that people can't be tossed into "one of two moral bins, one for people who are honest and the other for the liars." DePaulo explains that you are lying whenever "you intentionally try to mislead someone." However, there are different kinds of lies, and the kind your boyfriend told is an "instrumental lie" — a strategic lie people use to take a shortcut to something they want. This kind of lie is common to Machiavellian personalities — schemers who manipulate other people to get their way. It's also linked to having crappy relationships, since you can't very well be close to somebody who's frequently pretending to be somebody else. Ruh-roh, huh? Maybe not. Context matters — including why he lied, why he didn't tell you and whether his lie has lots of brothers and sisters to keep it company. If he doesn't seem to be a big truth shaver, consider that this age fibbie may be a necessary evil — a "cost of doing business" lie. Why didn't he tell you? Maybe because he didn't tell you, and then he still hadn't told you, and then it seemed he was way late in telling you. If you don't see a pattern of lying, maybe this is a sign, not that he's a terrible person but that he dreaded disappointing you. You and he could even turn this incident into a positive thing — an opportunity to come up with a policy for honesty in your relationship. What's especially important is making it a safe place for telling the truth — pledging to sit down and talk stuff out instead of going all explodypants over it. This includes shocking Hollywood revelations like his current one, which — frankly — is too ho- hum to even make the wastebasket at TMZ. You've merely discovered that the guy's another age, not that there's another woman — the one he's always dreamed of being. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The Bunyadi opened in London in June for a three-month run as the world's newest nude-dining experience, and now has a reservation waiting list of 40,000 (since it only seats 42). Besides the nakedness, the Bunyadi creates "true liberation" (said its founder) by serving only food "from nature," cooked over fire (no electricity). Waiters are nude, as well, except for minimal concessions to seated diners addressing standing servers. Tokyo's Amrita nude eatery, opening in July, is a bit more playful, with best-body male waiters and an optional floor show — and no "overweight" patrons allowed. Both restaurants provide some sort of derriere-cover for sitting, and require diners to check their cellphones at the door. [The Guardian (London), 6-7-2016] [Mashable.com, 6-10-2016] Cultural Diversity Milwaukee's WITI-TV, in an on-the-scene report from Loretta, Wisconsin, (in the state's northwest backwoods), in May, described the town's baffling fascination with "Wood Tick Racing," held annually, provided someone finds enough wood ticks to place in a circle so that townspeople can wager on which one hops out first. The "races" began 37 years ago, and this year "Howard" was declared the winner. (According to the organizers, at the end of the day, all contestants, except Howard, were to be smashed with a mallet.) [WITI-TV, 5-30-2016] Government in Action The Department of Veterans Affairs revealed in May that, between 2007 and last year, nearly 25,000 vets examined for traumatic brain injury at 40 VA facilities were not seen by medical personnel qualified to render the diagnosis — which may account for the result that, according to veterans' activists, very few of them were ever referred for treatment. (TBI, of course, is the "signature wound" of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.) [WVEC- TV (Norfolk), 5-26-2016] An ordinary green tree frog recently injured in a "lawn-mowing accident" in Australia's Outback was flown about 600 miles from Mount Isa to the Cairns Frog Hospital. CFH president Deborah Pergolotti spoke despairingly to Australian Broadcasting Corp. News in June about how society underregards the poor frogs when it comes to rescue and rehab — suggesting that "there's almost a glass ceiling" between them and the cuter animals. [Australian Broadcasting Corp. News, 6-6-2016] COPY R IGHT CHUCK SHEPPA R D ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, take a more serious approach if you want others to give your ideas more thoughtful consideration. Devote more time and attention to work and other necessities. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, put your thoughts on paper so you can work out all of your ideas. You have some great ideas, and writing them down can help you articulate them more effectively. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, someone gives you a gift that you really appreciate, and you want to respond in kind. Think about the recipient' s hobbies before making a final decision. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, things have been going quite well for you lately, as it seems like you have gotten into a groove. Take the smooth goings in stride and offer to help others when possible. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, if stress starts to get to you this week, take a step back and reevaluate your priorities. It may be time to make a few changes and reduce your workload. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, you like to be around people and enjoy holding your own in conversation. But this week you may need a little respite from the crowd. Enjoy the alone time. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, offer to help a loved one even if you suspect they may not be receptive to your assistance. Exhibit some patience and perseverance, and you will help make a positive difference. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, your courage to stand by your decisions draws positive attention this week. Let it be known that you appreciate others noticing your conviction. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, ask a good friend for a their perspective on a problem that has been puzzling you. Another' s insight might be just the thing you need to make the right decision. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, work through all angles before making a final decision. It may take a few trial runs, but eventually you will come to the right conclusion. Get a second opinion if you need it. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 There' s much you can learn about managing money and investing in your future, Aquarius. You have some great ideas; they just need some fine-tuning. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, great friends are something to cherish, and this week is a great time to let your closest friends know how much you appreciate them. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard Your Local Arts & Culture Connection Keep your finger on the pulse of the local art scene with our weekly event listings, artist profiles, gallery openings and more. www.upandcomingweekly.com UP & COMING WEEKLY In Print & Online