Up & Coming Weekly

April 08, 2014

Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.

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APRIL 9-15, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Abstain Removal For my New Year's resolution, I committed to not having sex for the first six months of the year and then another six months from whenever I start dating someone. I've never been good at waiting. In fact, the longest I have ever waited is a month and the shortest (and perhaps more typically) is a few hours. In early January, I met a guy, and I've been seeing him weekly, though I think I'm being friend- zoned. He is attracted to my polar opposite (short blondes) and has shown no sexual interest in me. Yet, we continue meeting up, and he even buys me dinner and drinks from time to time. Am I wasting my time, or is this how long-lasting, meaningful relationships start — as friends first? — Reformed But Confused Chances are, this guy is just running low on the type he is into — short blondes — and realized he could treat you to meals or go alone and spend the evening making witty remarks to his dinner roll. There actually are good reasons not to have sex right away, even for those of us who don't come from a culture where virgins get traded for a bolt of cloth and herd of goats. Research by anthropologist John Marshall Townsend suggests that even women with no interest in a relationship that lasts beyond sunup are often surprised to wake up finding themselves pining for more. This is possibly due to the effect of oxytocin, a hormone associated with emotional bonding that's released in men and women through hugs, cuddling, kissing and especially orgasm. In males, however, sexual activity boosts testosterone, which plays the part of riot cop, refusing to let oxytocin up to its receptor. There's a dearth of studies on these hormones' effect on post-sex bonding, but experience should tell you that men who have sex before they have any emotional attachment tend to make like the Roadrunner shortly afterward. Try prioritizing long-term goals over short-term romps and assessing whether a man is right for you with the organ equipped with brain cells. You need to come up with standards for what you want in a partner and take time getting to know a man so you can see whether he meets the essential ones. You should also inventory all of his less-than-ideal qualities and see whether you can live with them. Do your homework figuring out who a man is and you'll find that you just know when it's the right time to have sex with him — even without anybody holding Senate hearings on whether to restore visitor access to your vagina. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES by HOliday ARIES (March 21-April 19). You're engaged in solving a real problem, and you're not doing it for your health. There's something you want, so ask for it. Be forthright. Be the one to set the next appointment or ask for a commitment. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You'll produce something interesting. While this definitely has merit, you'll have to take it one step further if you want to get somewhere with this. Answer the hard question: "Why should anyone care?" GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Your instincts will give you an edge in all of your dealings, even the extremely logical ones. You see past how much things cost and effectively factor the intangibles into an assessment of true value. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Not everyone is as happy and well adjusted as you. People will adopt a more serious tone than you think they need. Your response is what will escalate or deflate the intensity. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Work that was going fine yesterday suddenly hits a wonky patch. Start with you, not the problem you are having. How are you being affected? Chances are the dynamic is messing with your perceived status or role. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Unless you write down what you do today, you're likely to lose track of it, and that would be a shame. The long list of (seemingly easy or at least easy for you) tasks you burn through is a testament to a life you can be proud of. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You're not out to do anything groundbreaking, but you do feel a strong sense of responsibility and a driving desire to do your very best. By following those two imperatives, you could accidentally break ground despite your intentions. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). If you get the feeling that someone is running a script on you, you immediately are turned off. You're an individual who deserves, gives and receives custom-catered treatment. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). The middle section of a long-term project is somewhat frustrating. Even though you've done quite a bit of work, gained a great deal of skill and shown impressive fortitude, there is still a long road ahead. Take heart! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). What is routine for you will be brand-new to the other person. Empathize and go slowly enough through each step that the other person can keep up. Check in often to make sure you're both on the same page. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). When you hear the word "no," be bold enough to ask whether you made a mistake of some kind. If you really want to hear the answer, you'll learn something that will lead to the "yes" you seek. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Before you discount the complainers in your midst, consider that these types actually may be making a gesture of good faith. Inside that (rather annoying) concern will be some valuable information. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Kevin Walters, 21, staged an emotional, though unsuccessful, one- man, chained-to-the-door protest in March to prevent the closing of a commercial rest stop along the Jane Addams Memorial Tollway near Des Plaines, Ill. Ultimately, the Des Plaines Oasis, housing shops and fast- food restaurants, will be demolished as part of a highway-widening project. Walters told WBBM Radio that his poignant attachment to the oasis was because his parents had told him it was where he was conceived as they returned home from a 1992 Phil Collins concert. [WBBM, 3-14-2014] Cultural Diversity In tribe- controlled areas of India, children who disrespect their families by marrying outside their castes are still, occasionally, put to death despite strong national laws. However, enlightenment is advancing, and Mr. Sidhnath Sharma recently filed a lawsuit instead against his caste- straying son for "destroying the family tradition" and "lowering his father's prestige." Sharma, a lawyer in Patna, India, is demanding that the son pay a monthly royalty of the equivalent of $163 for the son's now-unauthorized use of the father's name. [The Hindu, 1-25-2014] Fighter jets from France were forced in February to accompany the hijacked Ethiopian Airlines plane commandeered by the co-pilot, who had diverted the plane to Geneva in order to apply for asylum. The Swiss air force would normally have taken over the mission in its own air space, but the incident occurred at 4:30 a.m., and Swiss air force pilots were likely still asleep, as they work only "regular office hours," beginning at 8 a.m. (French military officials said they are accustomed to covering for Switzerland.) [The Local (Paris), 2-18-2014] Sweden's foul-smelling canned herring (surstromming) inexplicably raises passions among some traditionalists -- which is why it was big news in February when a man found a bulging tin whose contents had been fermenting for about 25 years and reckoned he needed help to "disarm" it, lest it "explode" and damage his cabin. Ruben Madsen of Sweden's Surstromming Academy agreed to attend the can-opening and assured the man that spewing, not explosion, was the likely outcome. [The Local (Oslo), 2-10-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard By Holiday Mathis

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