Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/94986
8A Daily News – Friday, November 23, 2012 FEATURES Grandma, son being kept from son's child Dear Annie: Several months ago, my 17-year- old son's girlfriend had a baby. I was upset at first, but then realized that the couple was young and needed help. My house now looks like a daycare center. For the whole nine months, we were part of the pregnancy. I paid for the mother to have an addition- al ultrasound, purchased a heartbeat bear for her and threw her a wonderful baby shower. Her mother helped a little, but not much. Two days after the baby shower, she told my son he isn't the father. He doesn't believe it and is really hurt. When the baby was born, we were notified via text. My son filed for paternity, and the mother was given 20 days to respond. She did- n't. My son took his DNA test, and his ex-girlfriend hired a lawyer. The mother of my grandson is 20 years old, and I believe she is scared of her mother. That woman kept her own children away from their bio- logical father and controls every- thing about her children. She does- n't allow her daughter to take the baby out of the house without a family member accompanying her. When the baby's mother goes to work, she takes the baby with her. We cannot get any answers from them about why they won't allow us to be part of our new grandchild's life. It's been two months, and we haven't been able to see or hold him yet. What can we do? — Heartbro- ken Mamaw Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Your son has taken a DNA test, and right now, all you can do is wait for the results. If it turns out the baby is not his, please let it go, no mat- ter how difficult that would be for you. However, if the baby is indeed your son's child, he should seek legal counsel, file for joint cus- tody and put a visitation and child support plan into effect as soon as possible. Dear Annie: I am a retired person in my 60s who has been successful as a parent, spouse, environmental activist, employee and now as a community volunteer. I have a simple plea: Please, America, be more tolerant, respect- ful and civil when you express your political and religious beliefs to friends and family. Just because someone does not share your exact interpretation of the Constitution or the Bible does not mean they are any less patriotic, ethical or spiritu- al than you. Remember, tolerance and willingness to compromise are founding principles of our wonder- ful country. — In Favor of Toler- ance and Respect Dear In Favor: Amen to that. Dear Heartbroken: 45-year-old never-married man who can't find the ''right lady'' who car- ries no baggage. and have several others as friends. We are all highly educated engi- neers and, being able to support ourselves, did not have to settle for just any man. However, we were not often asked out, perhaps because our intelligence was intimidating, or because we were perceived as not being sufficiently needy. Men like to feel needed. At age 55, I am one such lady own age group for women to date. Men seem to gravitate toward women at least 10 years their junior, which upsets women of their own age — who would be thrilled to date them. Second, Annie's advice to go where the women are is spot-on. To male-deprived activities such as church and singing groups (which are always desperate for more tenors and basses), I would add group exercise classes such as Zumba and yoga. Men are wel- comed into these classes, which offer great physical benefits regard- less of the dating possibilities. — Schenectady, N.Y. My advice is to look within your We don't know why it has become so difficult for people to express themselves without resorting to dis- dain, anger and even violence, but it's time to stop. The holiday season is a good time to remember the idea of peace and goodwill toward your fellow citizens. Dear Annie: I would like to respond to ''Single Too Long,'' the Museum's upcoming exhi- bition, Issues: Social, Political, Gender, features artworks "that take a stand," according to cura- tor Catherine Sullivan. "The printmakers' response to a variety of issues as shown in this exhibition will include everything from the direct and humorous to the uncomfortable parody. Some of the works will challenge personal moral beliefs of the viewer, or what is proper for artistic subject. Other images will recall previous yet still rel- evant issues under a patina of nostalgia." Issues: Social, Political, Gender runs through Dec. 16. On Dec. 6 there will be a reception at 5:30 p.m. followed by a curator's talk at 6 p.m. Sullivan said The Turner decided to do this exhibition to coincide with Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Turner to present 'Issues' exhibition through Dec. 16 The Janet Turner Print the elections taking place in early November. "With it being a presi- dential election year, national and local issues are much more frequently discussed with the level of rhetorical discourse rang- ing from apathy to vocal protest. Artists are not immune to the society they live in. The artists we are featuring in this exhibition choose to focus their sub- jects on what is most pre- eminent to them regarding laws, morality and societal pressure in the era they represent." For "Issues" The Turner selected a number of works from its 3500-plus collection of prints that may "challenge as well as offend" the viewer, noted Sullivan. "Art and printmaking is not always about beauty. Just as we see the hotly contested political race or passage of a proposition, this exhibition presents artists that have taken a stand and the communica- tive deciding 'vote' comes from the viewer's reac- tion." You can quit smoking, many ways to try TOR K: I have tried to quit smok- ing several times but just can't. The patch and Chantix didn't work. Sup- port groups aren't for me. Are there any other approaches that might help? DEAR DOC- ER: Keep trying. It often takes smokers several tries before they are successful. I spoke to my colleague, Dr. Thomas Lee, editor- in-chief of the Harvard Heart Letter, who has heard this question from many of his patients. Here are our thoughts. DEAR READ- Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. printmaker Jenny Schmid, 19th century English print- maker Issac Cruikshank, 19th century American Social Realism artist John Sloan, and Bay Area art activist Art Hazelwood. Print mediums repre- sented include lithographs, historic hand colored etch- ings, relief prints, modern etchings and aquatints. A select number of prints from the Turner Print Museum collection that expand on the "Issues" exhibition will be dis- played in the Ayres Hall first floor cases on the CSU, Chico campus. The Turner Print Muse- um is located in Meriam Library on the CSU, Chico campus, adjacent to the Valene L. Smith Museum of Anthropology. Viewing hours are 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday-Saturday. Parking is available on nearby Chico streets and also at adjacent Chico State park- ing lots. For more information Because nicotine is highly addictive, with- drawal symptoms, espe- cially cigarette cravings, can feel impossible to deny. On my website, AskDoctorK.com, I've put a chart of the most common withdrawal symptoms and sugges- tions for ways to get through them. Smokers today have a number of tools to fight tobacco addiction. These include nicotine replace- ment (nicotine patches, gums, lozenges, inhalers and sprays); non-nicotine medications such as bupropion (Zyban, Well- butrin) and varenicline (Chantix); counseling and behavior-change therapy; and social support. None are miracle workers. You mentioned the nicotine patch. Try it again, this time in combi- nation with a nicotine gum, lozenge or inhaler to help to handle break- through cravings the patch can't counteract. You also said that Chantix didn't help. Chantix helps cut down cravings and withdrawal symptoms and, by partial- ly blocking the effect of nicotine, reduces smok- ing's "reward." Try Zyban, a drug that helps reduce the desire to smoke, which may work better for you. Even if you don't want to join a support group, call the national quit line at 800-QUIT-NOW. You can get free, helpful sup- cancer, and because they haven't known many peo- ple with lung cancer, it can't be that common. In fact, smoking increases the risk for many kinds of cancer, including cancers of the colon, liver, kidney, pancreas, stomach and cervix, as well as a kind of leukemia. Some of my patients have two misconceptions about the risks of smoking that dis- courage them from trying to quit. The first is that smoking leads just to lung port from the comfort of your home. Smoking also greatly increases the risk of heart disease, the No. 1 cause of premature death among men and women; strokes; and other serious lung dis- ease besides lung cancer. Plus, it thins the bones and causes the skin to age pre- maturely. The other misconcep- tion is, "What's the use; the damage is already done." If you've been smoking for decades, you may have some permanent damage in the lung. But two hours after your last cigarette, nicotine starts leaving your body. One month later, much of the lung damage starts to heal. One year later, your risk of a heart attack or stroke is much lower. So is your risk of lung cancer. Work with your doctor or a smoking cessation specialist to figure out a plan tailored for you. I haven't had many patients successfully quit smoking on their first try, but I've seen many people who keep trying succeed. There are more ex-smok- ers in the United States today than there are smok- ers. It won't be easy, but you can do it! Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Artists whose works will be represented include former CSU, Chico stu- dent Meghan Moyse, for- mer artist in residence on the exhibition, call Sul- livan at 898-4476 or visit www.janetturner.org. Groups and classes can go online to make arrange- ments for visits to The Turner, including visits outside the public viewing hours. The website has a section for class applica- tions for docent tours and related activities. This form should be submitted prior to the visit to ensure a productive and educational experience for the class. scheduled for Nov. 30 George Turnbull, award winning Graphic Designer and nationally recognized Fine Art painter, will have 37 of his powerful paintings and beautiful limited edition prints displayed in the gallery. Orland artist's reception day, Nov. 30 at the gallery, 732 Fourth St., down- town. There will be an artist's reception 3-7 p.m. Fri- wood Bar and Grill. Talented young musician Martin Trang will pro- vide Christmas music while visitors enjoy the art- work on the gallery walls. Refreshments will be provided by Orland's Far- FAMILY CAREGIVER CONFERENCE FREE EVENT! Laughter for the Health of It by Roberta Gold, R.T.C. The Incredible Brain! Dodging Diseases by Melissa Jourdain, MS November 28th 9:00 am – 3:00 p.m. (lunch included) Gaia Hotel in Anderson www.CaregiverConference2012.eventbrite.com *Pre-registration required* Mountain Caregiver Resource Center of Passages www.MountainCRC.org ~ 800-995-0878