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FEATURES ''Tyler,'' who had a host of problems as a teenager, became a policeman at age 23. He was a jerk before he joined up, but now he's become a bigger jerk. Tyler is always bragging that he can fix parking tick- ets or give you a ticket just for annoying him. He talks back to people constantly, always trying to have the last word. It's awful, and it makes family gatherings impossible. His mother is a champi- on grudge holder and is still angry with Tyler for things he did as a teen. His father is completely pas- sive. Tyler's wife is OK, although I don't know what she sees in him. His toddler son is very aggressive. I've asked Tyler politely to Dear Annie: My cousin Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar behave more appropriately, but of course, he won't listen. I've walked out of family dinners and made it clear why. I've even spoken to my family about it, but they refuse to avoid occasions just because of Tyler, even though after these gath- erings my mother vents to me in the car. now avoid Tyler at all costs. I'm thinking of videotaping him and showing his superiors. I would not trust this man to carry a gun, serve warrants or make arrests. I'm afraid he's going to do something rash and someone will get hurt, and I'll have to testify against him at his trial. If any police out there are reading this, I can't take this anymore, and I By Jennifer Cooper Social Security district man- ager in Redding If you're in your sixties, you probably know that the age to receive full retire- ment benefits has changed. But it's important to remember that the age to begin receiving Medicare has not — it is still 65. Even if you have decided to wait until after you are age 65 to apply for retirement bene- fits, most people should start getting Medicare cov- erage at age 65. If you would like to begin your Medicare cover- age when you first become eligible, we suggest that you apply within three months of reaching age 65. You can have the same high school experi- ence I did. But for the life of me, the one excuse I can't get my head around is, ''I haven't been a suc- cess.'' Success means so many things and is different for every per- son. It makes me sad to think some- one would stay away because of that. if you dislike your cousin so much that you cannot bear to be in his presence, we agree that you should avoid these family gatherings when- ever possible. Dear Annie: I'm one of several people planning our upcoming high school reunion for the class of 1962. There are a few people who have never attended any of our reunions. I know my classmates didn't I'd like to know what they think. — No State Dear No State: Earning a badge would not change Tyler from a jerk into a responsible adult, but it does increase the fear levels. However, if he is simply bragging to his relatives and not actually doing anything, there's not much recourse for you. Your parents get to handle Tyler however they choose, so please stop trying to dictate their actions. But Reunion Tuesday, November 13, 2012 – Daily News 5A Difficult cousin sworn in as Officer Jerk Help, hope for grief Dear Reunion: You have made a heartfelt plea for people to attend such functions regardless of their personal insecurities. It is not uncommon for attendees to judge themselves against others' accom- plishments, but by the time a 50th reunion rolls around, such fears are meaningless. We know that some people had such a terrible high school experience that they have no desire to relive it in any form, and they shouldn't be pressured. But for the rest of you, please go. Dear Annie: Dan Peek from Grandparents and Others on Watch, Inc. was right on target in advising ''Older Sister'' to contact authori- ties about her brother, the sex offender. We live in a tight community. One woman was having sleepovers at her home while her father, a reg- istered child sex offender, was liv- ing with her. She was unwilling to recognize the risk, so we contacted all the parents of the children. We could not endure knowing that she was supplying him with potential victims. — Serious in the South About Protecting Kids Annie's Mailbox is written by Please tell those who feel they cannot attend reunions because they aren't ''successful'': We miss you and want to see you on this side of heaven. Time is short and very pre- cious, and we want to spend some of it with you. — Sad 50th HS do it online in as little as 10 minutes at www.socialsecu- rity.gov/medicareonly. At the website, you'll Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. The Medicare age is still 65 find more than just the online Medicare applica- tion. You'll also find infor- mation about Medicare, and have the opportunity to watch some short videos about applying for Medicare online. One is a family reunion for the cast of The Patty Duke Show. In another, Patty Duke and George Takei go boldly where you should be going — online. Why go online to apply for Medicare? Because it's fast, easy, and secure. You don't need an appointment and you can avoid waiting in traffic or in line. As long first time last week and had no idea what I was supposed to do. What steps should I take? A: Being involved in a traffic collision Q: I was involved in a collision for the as you have ten minutes to spare, you have time to complete and submit your online Medicare applica- tion. receiving Social Security retirement or disability ben- efits before age 65 do not need to apply; they will be automatically enrolled in Medicare. People who started charge for Medicare hospi- tal insurance (Part A) since you already paid for it by working and paying Medicare tax. However, there is a monthly premium for medical insurance (Part B). If you already have other health insurance when you become eligible for Medicare, you should There is no additional Ask the DMV can be very traumatic, especially your first one, so it is normal to feel overwhelmed. After any type of vehicle collision, no mat- ter how minor, you must stop. Otherwise you may be convicted of "hit and run" and could be severely punished. show the following information to the other driver or persons involved, or to any peace officer: Driver license, registration card, evi- dence of insurance and current address If you hit a parked vehicle or other prop- At the scene of a crash, it is important to need to re-register my vehicle. Should I notify California DMV that my car will no longer be in the state? A: As with any time you move, you should report this change of address to the DMV using a Change of Address form. Save time by going online! This can be accomplished at http://www.DMV.ca.gov/online/coa/wel- come.htm! consider whether you want to apply for the medical insurance. To learn more about Medicare and some options for choosing cover- age, read the online publi- cation, Medicare, at www.socialsecurity.gov/pu bs/10043.html or visit www.Medicare.gov. To learn more about applying for Medicare Only using the online application, please visit www.socialse- curity.gov/medicareonly. TOR K: A close friend suddenly and unexpectedly lost her spouse. How can I help her through her grief? DEAR READ- DEAR DOC- ER: It's not easy to console a grieving friend; you can't fix the situation. Instead, just be present and offer hope toward the future. Accept that your friend's grieving is a natural process that will gradually ebb. Here are a few specific, practical pieces of advice: — Name names. Don't be afraid to mention the deceased. — Offer hope. People Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. asked for your advice, don't be quick to offer it. — Avoid judgments. — Listen well instead of advis- ing. People often work through grief and trauma by telling their story over and over. Unless you are ally if your friend rebuffs offers or doesn't return every phone call. Keep trying. who have grieved often remember that the person who reassured them that things would get better was the one who helped them transition from pain to a renewed sense of life. — Make phone calls. Your friend's life and emo- tional landscape have changed enormously, pos- sibly forever. You may wish he or she would move on, but you can't speed the process or even ensure that it happens. Let your friend heal at the pace that feels right. Call to express your sym- pathy. Steer clear of such phrases as "It's God's will" or "It's for the best." — Write a note. If you had a relationship with the deceased, try to include a warm, caring or funny anecdote. — Keep in touch. Your friend may need you more after the first few weeks, when other people may stop calling. when offering help. Volun- teer to shop or do laundry, bring dinner or pass on information about funeral arrangements. Sometimes your help is most valuable later. For example, offer to help go through papers or belongings whenever your friend is ready to do so. — Make a date. Ask your friend to join you for a walk or meal once a week. Don't take it person- — Help out. Be specific A patient of mine lost her husband when they both were in their early 50s. She had been a stay-at- home mom with several hobbies but no profession. Their kids were in college and unlikely to need much more financial help. (This was decades ago, when college tuition fees were more manageable.) Friends and family asked her if there was something they could do to help, but she couldn't think of anything. So they had nothing to do. One friend, though, did- n't ask, "Is there some- thing I can do?" Instead, she thought about the woman's hobbies. The woman loved looking at homes for sale, even though she had no interest in buying. The friend said: "You ought to become a real estate agent, and I've done some homework. This is the training and cre- dentials you'll need." It worked. The woman spent the next 20 years as one of the most successful agents in her community. erty, try to find the owner. If you can't find the owner, leave a note with your name and address and the name and address of the owner of the vehicle you are driving, if dif- ferent and securely attach it to the vehicle. Report the collision without delay to the city police or, in unincorporated areas, to the Highway Patrol. Following a crash, you or your insurance agent, broker, or legal representative must do the following: • Move your vehicle off the street or highway. If you do not move your vehicle or have it removed from the street or highway, any peace officer or authorized personnel may have your vehicle removed and impounded • If someone is killed or injured, report the collision to the police or Highway Patrol within 24 hours • If there was more than $750 in damage to the property of any person, or anyone was injured or killed, report the collision to the DMV within 10 days The DMV has a brochure on what to do in the case of a collision. You can find it online at www.DMV.ca.gov. Q: I am moving out of state. I know I Please also notify DMV, in writing, to report that the vehicle was removed from California and will be registered in another state or country. Your letter must include the following information: California License plate number, and/or, Vehicle identification number, and date vehicle left California (MM/DD/CCYY), and mail to: DMV, PO Box 942869, MS C271, Sacramento, CA94269-0001 A status will be added to the vehicle record to prevent billing notices from being mailed. Q: Is it possible to "remove" points from your driving record? A: Points are not something you want on your driving record, and they can be assigned as a result of collisions or traffic tickets. Generally, collisions where you are at fault are one point and tickets are between one and two points. The only way to remove points from a the traffic laws and avoid reckless behavior. Be certain that you are driving defensively and never distracted while on the road. Keep this advice in mind, and you will be able to keep points off of your driving record! For more information, visit http://www.DMV.ca.gov/pubs/hdbk/actions _aps_court.htm. driving record is to wait. Most points stay on your record for three years. Depending on severity, points may stay on your record for up to 10 years. To avoid accruing points, always follow Red Bluff Outdoor Power 527-5741 490 Antelope Blvd., Red Bluff COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES All makes and models. We perform dealer Smog Check starting at$ (MOST CARS & PICK-UPS) 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. +$ 825 certificate 2595 Tony & Carmen Kelley 22679 Moran Road Corning, Ca 96021 530-824-2195 Fax: 530-824-0748