Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/810069
APRIL 12-18, 2017 UCW 31 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Greed Between The Lines I love my boyfriend; however, I feel bad that he never buys me presents. He did when we were dating, and he buys himself extravagant stuff. But he got me nothing for my birthday and only some trinkets for Christmas because I made a stink. When I've brought up the gifts issue, he's implied that I'm materialistic. However, what matters to me is not the cost but that he's thinking of me. Is my desire for gifts somehow shallow? — Coal Digger Many men sneer at the importance their ladies place on getting gifts from them, deeming it a sign of female emotional frailty. What these men aren't taking into account is that the differences that evolved in male and female psychology correspond to differences in male and female physiology. Because, for a woman, sex can lead to pregnancy (and a hungry kid to drag around), female emotions evolved to act as a sort of alarm system, making a woman feel crappy when there are signs a man's commitment may be waning. (Wanting to feel better makes her take corrective action — pressing him to put up or get out.) However, a man's being willing to give gifts suggests a willingness to "invest." Accordingly, evolutionary behavioral scientist Gad Saad believes that gift- giving evolved as a "distinctly male courtship strategy." Though women do give gifts to romantic partners, they tend to wait till they're in a relationship and then do it to "celebrate" being together. Saad's research finds that men, on the other hand, "are much more likely to be tactical in their reasons for offering a gift to a romantic partner" — like, in the courtship phase, to get a woman into bed. (Of course, if a woman wants to get a man into bed, she doesn't need to give him a present to unwrap; she just starts unbuttoning her top.) Explain the science to your boyfriend. You don't have a character deficiency; you just want him to show his love in the way that works for you. That's what people who love each other do — even if they, say, believe the gift of their side salad at dinner should be gift enough. Besides, you aren't demanding, "'Tiara of the Week!' or I'm gone!" You'd just like occasional little "thinking of you" prezzies and somewhat bigger ones on Official Girlfriend Holidays (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.). Ultimately, these are not just gifts but messages that making you happy is worth an investment of money and effort — beyond what he's been putting in to run out and get his wallet wired shut just in time for your birthday. Copyright 2017 Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD China's public- park restrooms have for years suffered toilet- paper theft by local residents who raid dispensers for their own homes (a cultural habit, wrote Hong Kong's South China Morning Post, expressing taxpayer feelings of "owning" public facilities), but the government recently fought back with technology. At Beijing's popular Temple of Heaven park, dispensers now have facial-recognition scanners beside the six toilets, with pre-cut paper (about 24 inches long) issued only to users who pose for a picture. (Just one slug of paper can be dispensed to the same face in a 9-minute period, catastrophic for the diarrhea-stricken and requiring calling an attendant to override the machine.) [South China Morning Post, 3-2-2017; BBC News, 3-20-2017] Latest Religious Messages The church-state "wall" leaks badly in Spindale, North Carolina, according to former members of the Word of Faith Fellowship (reported in February by the Associated Press). Two state prosecutors (one a relative of the church's founder), in nearby Burke and Rutherford counties, allegedly coached Fellowship members and leaders how to neutralize government investigations into church "abuse" — coaching that would violate state law and attorney ethical standards. Fellowship officials have been accused of beating "misbehaving" congregants, including children, in order to repel their demons. (Among the Fellowship's edicts revealed in the AP report: All dating, marriages and procreation subject to approval; no wedding-night intimacy beyond a "godly" cheek kiss; subsequent marital sex limited to 30 minutes, no foreplay, lights off, missionary position.) [Associated Press via Winston-Salem Journal, 3-6-2017] Babies born on the Indonesian island of Bali are still today treated regally under an obscure Hindu tradition, according to a February New York Times report, and must not be allowed to touch the earth for 105 days (in some areas, 210). (Carrying the infant in a bucket and setting that on the ground is apparently acceptable.) Each birth is actually a re- birth, they say, with ancestors returning as their own descendants. (Accidentally touching the ground does not condemn the baby, but may leave questions about negative influences.) [New York Times, 2-19-2017] Copyright 2017 Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, take your time on a particular project that requires more than just a cursory glance. Enlist the help of a partner or coworker if you need assistance. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, if your patience is in short supply, hunker down and try to ride out the week. You can make it through if you keep your eyes on the prize. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, romantic gestures may need to be put on hold until you can devote enough time to treating that special someone in the right fashion. This will give you more time for planning. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, pretty soon your schedule could be upended and you will have to find new coping mechanisms. It might be a struggle in the beginning, but soon you will bounce back. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Take a few moments to unwind when you can, Leo. It has been a busy time for you and you need to seek respite whenever you can -- even if it's only for a few minutes. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Think ahead to later in the week, Virgo. Do you have important plans? Try not to burn the candle at both ends now so you can have more energy down the road. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, you may be called upon to take a leadership role or start making more of the tough decisions in a relationship. You have to contribute as much as possible. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, even if you cannot see the finish line just yet, realize it is just over the horizon. Your hard work will be well worth the effort. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, when someone calls upon you for assistance, jump as quickly as you can. Others know they can count on you to be supportive and quick to support. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 A situation at home that has been on your mind finally resolves itself, Capricorn. You can breathe a little easier knowing there is one less challenge you have to face. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, with others continually counting on you for answers, you may be hesitant to ask some questions of your own. But speak up, especially if you feel overwhelmed in any way. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Creativity takes center stage for you this week, Pisces. You may put a clever spin on decorating or finally dabble in a new hobby. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard