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Saturday, August 25, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Family lives in fear of toxic woman Dear Annie: My toxic mother has put a strain on my family. Two years ago, she got into a fight with my husband, and I sided with him. Life has been a living hell ever since. She con- stantly calls and leaves hor- rible messages on our voice- mail. She has turned family and friends against us. Our kids are scared to death of her, but she has told everyone that I turned the children against her for no reason. Of course, she would never admit doing anything wrong. She's been like this since I can remember. She tormented me dur- ing my childhood. My psychiatrist says she has mental health issues, and our lawyer says she probably won't follow a restraining order. My husband says to ignore her, but that's impossible. My children and I want to move. I have panic attacks every time I see her phone number show up on our Caller ID. When she doesn't call, I'm on pins and needles waiting for the inevitable. I dread leaving the house, because I worry about run- ning into her somewhere. How do I convince my husband that it's in our best interests to move? If he won't, how do I get my mother to leave us alone? — On the Edge Dear Edge: You cannot change your mentally ill mother's behavior unless she is cooperative. And ask- ing your husband to move is a big step, especially if it means leaving Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar and a home in a new location rather than letting Mom chase you out of town. We also suggest you discuss this with your therapist and work on ways to feel safe. Dear Annie: In our small social group, the wives insist on attending a local event in which the husbands have zero interest. When I have sug- gested politely that the wives go without us, they become irritated and veto this plan. I know a husband who drags his wife to sporting events where she puts in earplugs and reads a novel. Why do people insist that their spouses attend events whether they want to or not? Is it power and con- trol? A test of one's loyalty? Please urge your readers to attend these things with those who enjoy them and allow the rest of us to bow out. — Going but Resenting It his job. While running away might be helpful in the short term, unless you plan to go into the witness protection program, Mom eventually will find you. Instead, take control of your life. Issue that restrain- ing order, and if Mom vio- lates it, call the police. Get an unlisted phone number. Refuse to let her bully you. Then, if you still wish to move, you and your husband will have time to find jobs Dear Going: There are myriad reasons people do this, although some simply want their spouses to enjoy what they do and keep them company. And there are instances where going to something that doesn't interest you can lead to actual enjoyment and expand your social repertoire. But we agree that if it's the same event repeatedly, you shouldn't have to keep going — provided your spouse has someone else with whom to attend. Dear Annie: Please tell ''Dis- traught Wife'' and any other person struggling with opioid addiction to talk to a doctor and ask about Sub- oxone. This is a drug for addicts that will help them get off the stronger, addictive drugs in a matter of days. It does involve a couple of days of discomfort, but after that, the desire is gone. — Anonymous Dear Anonymous: Suboxone is a medication approved for the treat- ment of opiate dependence, and it has a lower potential for abuse than methadone. Common side effects include flu-like symptoms, headaches, sweating, nausea, sleep- ing difficulties and mood swings, and Suboxone has been associated with difficulty breathing, especially when combined with other depres- sants. But under a doctor's supervi- sion, it can help an addict get sober. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. wood Community Library has ended the summer vaca- tion with a very successful Summer Storytime pro- gram. This year's theme – "What Will I Be When I Grow Up", launched many successful topics to discuss and act out. Throughout the summer, stories were read and visitors were welcomed who introduced the children to a wide variety of profes- sions and livelihoods. feel like we accomplished our goal of being able to expose our youngsters to things they may not neces- sarily see in their day to day lives", commented Gayle Harrington, Director of Library Services. "Each of our guests was able to explain to the children what their job entailed and what they may do on a regular working day", she explained. Details like the specialized type of clothing "I Courtesy photo Natan Espino, 7, of Red Bluff, learns what it feels like to be a real firefighter from Fireman Rod of the Cottonwood Fire Department. worn, the tools used, and the rewards and satisfaction of the job were discussed. As in the past, an end of the season party was held on the back lawn of the library. were played and popsicles Outdoor games were enjoyed. A visit from Fireman Rod of the Cotton- wood Fire Department arriving in the red rescue truck was an added surprise and topper for the day. The children were given a brief lesson on safety and rescue Kids learn about firefighting at library Once again, the Cotton- TOR K: A friend recently told me about a condition called metabolic syndrome. What is it? And what can I do if I have it? DEAR DOC- 5B Metabolic syndrome affects millions bolic syndrome: — Maintain a healthy body weight. DEAR READ- ER: Metabolic syndrome may be the most com- mon condition you've never heard of. Many of my patients have Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. nearly 50 million Amer- icans have it — and many of them don't know it. it; Metabolic syndrome is dangerous. If you have it, you have a much higher risk of stroke or a heart attack, and of developing diabetes, kidney and liver disease. There's also evidence that older adults with metabolic syndrome are more likely to have memory problems. Most important, you can cure it with changes in your lifestyle before you develop health prob- lems. bolic syndrome if you have three or more of the following: You have meta- procedures, and then it was time to bring out the water hose. Those in attendance got to operate the nozzle and spray the fire hose just like a real firefighter. "I would like to thank all — High blood pres- sure (hypertension). — Excess belly fat. This is measured as a waist size of 40 inches or more for men or 35 inches or more for women. the families who were here week after week and who supported and enjoyed our program", cited Harrington. "We realize that many of our families have choices to make on how to spend their time, and we are grateful that they chose to spend some of that time with us." The Storytime program is currently on hiatus until Wed. Sept. 5 at 11:30, when the new Fall schedule begins. themes and topics will lead up to the Christmas Holiday season. For more informa- tion on Storytimes, or how your family or business can help sponsor the program, contact Harrington at the library at 347-4818. Lots of great — High triglycerides. This blood fat is often checked when you have a blood test for choles- terol. — Choose a healthy diet. It should be low in salt, in saturated and trans fats, and in highly processed foods such as white bread and sugary sodas. It should be high in omega-3 fats (as found in salmon and tuna, for example), in whole grains and fiber, and in vegetables and fruit. exercise. — Drink only moder- ate amounts of alcohol (one drink per day for women, one to two for men). — Get regular — Don't smoke. Talk to your doctor about whether you need medicines to lower blood pressure or triglycerides if they are high, and to raise HDL if it is low and is not raised just by exercising. Also talk to your doc- tor about whether you need medicines to lower blood sugar if you have diabetes or "pre-dia- betes." People with this condition have blood sugar that is above nor- mal but not at diabetic levels. — Low levels of high-density lipoprotein (HDL). This is often called "good choles- terol." sugar. — High fasting blood By the way, if you just determined that you have only one or two, but not three, of these factors, don't feel entirely relieved. You're still at higher risk of heart attack and stroke than people without any of these risk factors. Fortunately, you can take many steps to pre- vent or avoid the meta- Metabolic syndrome is a condition that does- n't always cause symp- toms but does put your health at risk. This is especially true if you have other risk factors for heart disease, such as smoking or having other close relatives with heart disease. If you have metabolic syndrome, you may be able to eliminate it com- pletely without medi- cines — just with changes in diet and exer- cise. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. $109 Per Month No early cancellation, non-refundable Blinds Need Blinds? 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