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4B Daily News – Saturday, August 4, 2012 FEATURES 'Deprived' women should look in the mirror Dear Annie: I have had all I can take from your female readers who complain about the lack of intimacy from their husbands. You tell them to have their husband's testosterone checked and seek counseling. Allow me to give you a better answer. It's true that men, as they get older and live with their partners for years, might not be as excited about intimacy as in their younger days. That does not mean they are not interested in intimacy. It means they are not interested in their partner. Here are my questions for those female readers: How big is your rear end? Do you have numerous health issues that make your partner think he is living in a nursing home? Are you out of shape and overweight because you sit, eat and watch TV all day? Do you snore, keeping your partner up most of the night? I could go on, but I think you get the point. In my opinion, 80 percent of females over the age of 30 are over- weight, and a good percentage are obese. Let's face it. They are not sexy. So, after 30-plus years of marriage, you look at your spouse, and what else can I say? I know men have issues, too, but we don't all need to have our testosterone checked if we are not inti- mately excited by our mate. This does not mean we don't still love them. — Bob (Loca- tion Secret for Obvious Rea- sons) Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar family. We are not perfect, but we try to be there for one another when it counts. My in-laws are a different story. They are very self-absorbed. In my family, when someone is seriously ill or hurt, we call and visit and try to help. But when I had surgery, and again when my husband was sick, my in-laws didn't even phone. In the 20 years that I have known them, they have never done anything remotely thoughtful for us. When we first married, I tried to be tain you will have provoked our read- ers, who will be eager to set you straight, so ... let the games begin. Dear Annie: I have a very close positive by saying they are simply dif- ferent. I told myself that I owe them my respect because they are my hus- band's family. I never complained Dear Bob: Well, you are certainly frank. But the major- ity of our sex-deprived male readers have let us know that they would rather be intimate with their 50-plus wives than with anyone else. They want the affection that intimacy pro- vides, regardless of body shape or age. But we are cer- about them. However, as the years passed, it's become harder to tolerate their behavior, and I can no longer hold in my feelings. My husband still thinks we should have his parents over for dinner and holidays, but it's hard to be around them for an hour, much less an entire evening. Am I being unfair to my husband? I'm trying to follow your advice and find something to like about my in- laws, and I simply cannot. Could you help me handle it better? — N.Y. Wife Dear Wife: The only thing you need to like about your in-laws is that they raised your husband, whom you love. And it's possible that their lack of consideration is less about not caring and more about not knowing how to behave appropriately. Please continue to invite them for holidays and an occasional dinner out of respect for your husband, and work on finding a calm place in your head. who asked whether she had to tip the grocery store clerk for help while shopping with her two small children. Our daughter solved this problem by parking next to the cart return. When she comes out of the store, she can put the kids into the car and return her cart without worry. — Grandma in Illinois Oak tree loses 50-foot branch Special to the DN It was a hot and dry July day when students of the Sacramento River Discov- ery Center Summer Camps program came outside to play under the old oak tree in the Discovery garden and discovered a new piece of playground equipment. Unfortunately is was not a safe piece of equip- ment. It was a large, 40- to 50- foot-long western main branch of the tree that had fallen during the night. It was a lesson for those who have older valley oaks to have them checked for weak and rotten limbs peri- odically. Dear Annie: Here's a tip for ''J,'' Moles should be closely monitored TOR K: I have many moles, some flat, some raised. Should I be wor- ried about them? DEAR READ- DEAR DOC- ER: Yes, you should. I worry about mine. Everyone has moles. They usu- ally appear during childhood or adolescence. Most moles never become a problem, but sometimes they can become cancer- ous, causing a potentially deadly skin cancer called malignant melanoma. Moles are small, pig- mented spots on the skin. They can be flesh-colored, yellow-brown or dark brown. They can be flat or raised. They are usually no more than 1 to 10 mil- limeters (less than half an inch) in diameter. Over the years, you may devel- op more of them. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Still, some moles do turn cancerous, so you should keep an eye on them. A relative of mine died of malignant melanoma, and I've kept a close eye on my own moles. Courtesy photo have any idea why the limb decided to fall that particu- lar evening. It missed a picnic table by an inch and fell when no one was around to be injured. The center was lucky that it fell when the US Forest Service's Cold Spring fire crew was avail- able to come up and remove the many pounds of wood as well as branch- Camp organizers do not A 50-foot limb crashed to earth, leaving the western side of an old oak tree in Discovery garden a little empty. es, limbs and leaves, so the next morning the campers were back under the tree ready for more learning games. This event caused the the center to take a new look at the garden and determine what other trees, bushes and plants were in need of some pruning. Volunteers are being sought to continue the Dis- covery Garden cleanup and revitalization project. The project will accept volunteers 8 a.m. to noon Mondays through Fridays begining Aug. 20. Tools and gloves are available, but volunteers may bring their own. Cold water will be pro- vided to keep volunteers hydrated. For more information, call the center at 527-1196 or send an email to bhughe1@tehamaed.org. The center is at 1000 Sale Lane, within the Men- docino National Forest's Red Bluff Recreation Area. If patients are at risk for melanoma — because someone in their family has it, or because they have had atypical moles or melanoma in the past, or because they got a lot of sun exposure, I rec- ommend that they regu- larly inspect their skin. Use a mirror for hard-to- see areas, or have a fam- ily member regularly inspect the skin on your back and the backs of your arms and legs, the areas that you cannot see very well. Not every brownish, pigmented thing on your skin is a mole. For exam- ple, many people have lit- tle brownish bumps on their skin called seborrhe- ic keratoses. They aren't moles and don't turn into melanoma. The things to look for when you are examining a mole are basically the size, the color and the bor- der — and any changes in size, color or border. A common or typical mole Atypical moles are usually larger in diame- ter (5 to 12 millimeters). They may have a mixture of colors, including tan, dark brown and some- times pink or black. The border is often irregular and indistinct and fades into the surrounding skin. Atypical moles usually appear on sun- exposed skin. But they can occur elsewhere, and they continue to develop after age 35. I ask my patients to bring any such moles to my atten- tion. You should inspect all of your moles, especially atypical moles, regularly for any abnormal changes. See a dermatologist if they: Some moles, called atypical moles, have dif- ferent physical characteristics than common moles — and they are more likely to turn into cancer. has an even color throughout and a distinct, regular border. border; — Get larger suddenly; — Develop an irregular — Become darker or inflamed; — Show spotty color changes; — Begin to bleed, crack or itch; — Become painful. If the appearance of your moles suggests they may be cancerous, they should be removed and examined under a micro- scope. If they are found to be cancerous, additional skin in the surrounding area also must be removed. Do not ignore warning signs. Melanoma is the deadliest form of skin cancer, but early diagnosis could save your life. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. $99 Blinds Need Blinds? C A L L P A U L Blinds & Draperies www.nsbd.biz Lic.#906022 527-0842 North State Paul Stubbs Flooring Commercial ~ Residential Tim Mowris Floors • Install and/of Repair Carpet • Vinyl • Tile •Subfloor Licensed and Insured 33 years experience (530) 200-2371 Cont. Lic#515214 Print Runs Every Tuesday - Thursday- Saturday On-Line runs 7 days a week, On-Line Print and No early cancellation, non-refundable Clock Repair Contractor When you want it done right ... HIRE A LICENSED CONTRACTOR! 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