Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JUNE 22-28, 2016 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Wow Or Never There are two women who arouse mega-chemistry in me when we hug, talk, etc. Unfortunately, neither is available. Though I'm basically attracted to the woman I'm dating (meaning she's the right height, weight, hair color, etc.), I don't feel those highs with her. So, my question is, can I make a go of this relationship even though I lack the tingly zest I have with the taken ladies? — Missing The Whole Enchilada Can you "make a go" of this relationship? Of course you can! Before you know it, you'll be booking one of those romantic weekend getaway packages to try to rekindle that magical indifference you felt at the start. Unfortunately, you can't work up to lusting after a woman, like by making your libido do pushups over her picture. We seem to have evolved to be subconsciously drawn to the smell of certain people — those who have immune system genes different from ours, with whom we'd make a baby with a broader set of defenses against icky parasites and disease. Men, in particular, evolved to be hot for features that reflect high fertility, like a small waist, big eyes, and big pillowy lips. The right smell and physical features flick the "on" switch in what affective neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp calls your "seeking system," sending you signals (in the form of "tingly zest") — much like a sign spinner holding up a big arrow, "Your penis here!" No, obviously, you can't have it all, but you have to have enough of it all — enough of the hots for a woman, along with the hots for who she is as a human being. This isn't to say there won't be issues in bed, but you're more likely to solve them if the licensed professional best suited to help you is not the corner taxidermist. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Life is good now for British men who "identify" as dogs and puppies, as evidenced by a BBC documentary Secret Life of the Human Pups showing men in body outfits (one a Lycra-suited Dalmatian, "Spot"), exhibiting "sexual" expressions (stomach-rubbing, ear- tickling and nuzzling their "handlers"), eating out of bowls, gnawing on chew toys, wearing collars (so as not to be a "stray"), and jumping in the air for "treats." (However, decency demands that a Pup must only feign urinating against a lamppost.) Said Spot (aka Tom), "It's about being given license to behave in a way that feels natural, even primal." Added "Bootbrush," "(We) are trying to grasp the positive elements of the archetype of the dog." [The Guardian, 5-25-2016] New World Order As an alternative to the more costly in vitro fertilization, researchers at a Dresden, Germany, institute announced (in the recent Nano Letters journal) that they had developed a motorized device tiny enough to fit around a sperm's tail and which could be commanded to propel it to "swim" faster toward the target egg, increasing the chances of fertilization. A prototype is still in the works. [rt.com (Moscow), 1-15-2016] The Internet pornography behemoth PornHub recently added to the glut of physical fitness "apps" with one designed to help users tone up sexual muscles. The BangFit's routines include the "squat and thrust," the "missionary press," and other ways to practice what the company describes as the "one activity people are always motivated to do and (for) which they are never too busy." (Imagine, for example, wrote Mashable. com, "quantify(ing) your dry humps.") [Mashable.com, 5-19-2016] The Continuing Crisis As Libya's central bank struggles to stabilize a halting economy, it could surely use the estimated $184 million in gold and silver coins that Moammar Gadhafi minted but left buried in an underground vault in the coastal city of Beyda, but the treasure is inaccessible because central bank officials don't know the lock's combination (as The Wall Street Journal reported in May). The latest plan is to have a locksmith squeeze through a 16-by-16-inch hole in the outer vault's concrete wall and once inside to try his hand. If unsuccessful, the government's bureaucrats likely cannot get paid, but even if successful, various anti- government factions may go to extremes to snatch the coins. [Wall Street Journal, 5-13-2016] COPY R IGHT CHUCK SHEPPA R D ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, it may not be possible to get away for an extended vacation just now, but perhaps a few days away will offer the brief respite you need to get energized. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, professional issues may be stressful, but try to maintain a positive attitude and the issues will soon be resolved. Rely on a trusted colleague to help. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Face tough issues head on, Gemini. No matter the obstacle, you are fully capable of overcoming it. If necessary, ask for some clarification so you can better focus on the tasks at hand. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, take some time out of your schedule for a fun day trip or another spontaneous activity that enables you to escape the daily grind and unwind for a little while. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 You may need to lend some special skills to a situation this week, Leo. When someone calls on you for help, accept the challenge with dignity and pride. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, make delegation a priority over the next several days. Spread the workload around to lessen some of your burden and to encourage others to contribute. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, your mind is set on a new opportunity, but you do not yet have the finances to make it happen. See if you can find an investor or another way to fund the project. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, sometimes you have to take a challenging route even though you desire the easier path. The hard work will be worth it in the end, as you will see shortly. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Helping others is a big part of who you are, Sagittarius. Every effort you put forth will come back to you in time. Enjoy all the moments you have with others. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 It's difficult to fully explain just how busy you are, Capricorn. Start trimming your to-do list so you can maintain your energy and actively involve those around you. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 It's time to try a few new things, Aquarius. Try a hobby or activity that is out of your comfort zone. You may be surprised at how much this new hobby interests you. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 There's only so long you can put off financial concerns before they become a big problem, Pisces. Start addressing things today. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard WEEKLY HOROSCOPES WEEKLY HOROSCOPE