Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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26 UCW JUNE 15-21, 2016 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Someday, Her Prince Will Run I'm a single woman in my 40s. It's been ages since I've seriously dated anyone. People tell me that I seem "closed off." I don't want to be, but I worry that I'll get into another relationship that ends badly. I don't want to die alone, but I just don't think I can survive another heartbreak. — Terrified My dad loves quoting that FDR line, "The only thing you have to fear is fear itself." Sorry, Pops, but that's ridiculous. There are things to fear in life. A couple of examples that spring to mind: 1. A hug from the lady at work who just got back from vacationing in Ebola territory. 2. Being in immediate need of lifesaving surgery and waking up to your drunken neighbor operating on you with salad utensils and a steak knife. However, it turns out that there's a next part to that "fear itself" line — explaining that the problematic kind of fear is "nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." Perhaps that sounds familiar? And granted, when love packs its bags, leaving you with just a few empty hangers swinging in your closet where your man's shirts used to be, it's normal to come undone for a while — perhaps spending some time lying on the bathroom floor in an evening dress and breakfasting on Froot Loops a la vodka. However, what's also normal is recovering from heartbreak. Grief researcher George Bonanno explains that while therapists and self-help books portray grief after a loss as a paralyzing sadness that people are unable to survive without professional help, this isn't how he finds it affects most of us. In fact, he says we are wired to be resilient — to pull ourselves out of our misery hole and get on with things. What helps in this, Bonanno explains, is "hardiness." Research by clinical psychologist Salvatore Maddi finds that hardiness involves three interrelated attitudes: a desire to engage with people and life (rather than detach and isolate yourself), a belief in taking action to make things better (rather than sinking into "passivity and powerlessness"), and a willingness to face stressful stuff and use it as a learning experience — transforming personal disasters into personal growth. Even if the behaviors that make up hardiness don't come naturally to you, they're there for the taking. So, yes, heartbreak will be painful, but hardiness is a shovel you can use to dig yourself out. What you don't get to do is make the bratty demand, "I want love without hurt or disappointment!" You can fill up your life so it won't be so empty if somebody leaves you and get comfy with the hard truth: Having love is no guarantee that you won't "die alone" — choking on a chicken bone just as your beloved's gone out the door all, "Wow, double coupon day at the Quik Sak! Be right back, loverbunny!" Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD By 2009, when Zimbabwe's cent ral bank gave up on cont rolling inf lat ion, it s largest currenc y was t he 100 t rillion-dollar bill — barely enough for bus fare in Harare and not even wor t h t he paper needed to print it . However, t hat 100 t rillion- dollar note (t hat 's "1" plus 14 zeros) has t urned out to be a great invest ment for several ast ute t raders in London and New Zealand, who bought t housands of t hem at pennies on t he t rillion and now repor t brisk sales to collec tors on eBay at U. S. $30 to $40 a note — a six-year ret urn on invest ment, according to a May repor t in London's The Guardian, of nearly 1,500 percent . [The Guardian, 5-14- 2016] Can't Possibly Be True Long-divorced Henr y Peisch, 56, has seven children, but only one is st ill liv ing w it h his ex-w ife (who had originally been awarded $581 mont hly suppor t for all seven). ( Three children are now independent, and t hree ot hers successf ully pet it ioned cour t s to live w it h Henr y.) The result ant hardship (t he $581 remains in ef fect) caused Henr y to ask t he Bergen Count y, New Jersey, Family Cour t several t imes for a " hardship" hearing , which t he cour t denied (t hus even def y ing t he New Jersey Supreme Cour t). On April 8, Family Cour t judge Gar y Wilcox, not ing Peisch's appearance on a related mat ter, spont aneously "granted" him his "abilit y to pay " hearing (w it h t hus no oppor t unit y for w it nesses or ev idence-gat hering) — and summarily jailed him for missing some $581 pay ment s ( because, t he judge concluded, he did not " believe" Peisch's hardship claims). [Bergen Dispatch, 4-28-2016] Magician and professional gambler Brian Zembic, 55, finally consulted surgeons recently about removing his historic C-cup breast implants, which he bore on a $100,000 bet in 1996 (with a rider of $10,000 annually for retaining them). (He also won a companion game of backgammon to determine who would pay for the original surgery.) He told news sources in May that he had intended to have them removed early on, but that they had "grown on" him and become "a normal part of my life." [Huffington Post, 5-18-2016] COPY R IGHT CHUCK SHEPPA R D ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 You are motivated to explore new relationships this week, Aries. Do so without jeopardizing existing relationships. Speak about your plans with others as you work things through. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, it's best to address an uncomfortable topic or situation directly, even if you would rather sweep it under the rug. Choose your words wisely and you will get by. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 You may be sitting on edge as you try to manage a sticky situation, Gemini, but rest assured that things will work out in your favor. Do not worry about things for too long. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, while you may want to steer clear of large groups this week, in some instances, it just may be unavoidable. Look for friends at large gatherings and enjoy the time together. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, push past your hesitation and try something that scares you. You may be surprised at how much you actually enjoy it when you give new things a chance. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Do not waste too much time over-analyzing your feelings, Virgo. Trust your gut instincts because you are on the right path and you will soon realize it. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, take some time to smell the roses this week. No matter how hectic your schedule, a little time to relax and appreciate the little things is just what the doctor ordered. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, spend some time on your own this week without the noises of the outside world creating any interference. It is good to recharge once in a while and clear your head. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Focus your attention on those actions that will help you be most successful, Sagittarius. This means not getting swept up with trivial things in your path. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, progress is hard to come by lately. Find a system that works for you and you will soon start to gain some momentum. Allow events to unfold at their own pace. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Straightforward actions will help others see your motives more clearly, Aquarius. Make time to share your intentions with friends or coworkers if you desire their support. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, long-term planning becomes a priority in the week ahead. Put future goals that involve finances at the top of your list. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard