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10A Daily News – Saturday, May 26, 2012 Glory Days & maturity (MCT) — The ladies are everywhere at the Atria Woodbridge senior living community in Irvine: It is the ladies who fill the din- ing hall, the ladies who while away the afternoon chatting and doing cross- word puzzles in the sitting room, and the ladies whose photos are on dis- play next to the needle- point and paintings in the resident art gallery. Such is life in a place lifestyles Man Cave, a return to the hobbies of youth LOS ANGELES you find that your garage has been spray-painted by a van- dal. Finding peace in Jerkville CHICAGO (MCT) — You walk out of the house, and You see a guy toss a bag of trash out his car window. Your lawn is a minefield because somebody walks their dog there and doesn't clean up. where women outnumber men at least three to one. But in a room on the second floor — where model airplanes dangle from the ceiling, work tables line the walls and a sign reading "Boys Will Be Boys" hangs outside the door — Al Ladine has created one spot where the guys run the show. Welcome to the Man Cave. know, people who don't know you — make us angry. It's now our burden to make things right, to clean up after the inconsiderate slob, maybe even spend time and/or money that will probably just make us angrier. But what is the alternative? How do we put away the anger and learn to just shake off such actions? The reason we get upset, says James Gross, is because that paint-spraying, trash-tossing, poop-leaving twit has dis- rupted the order of our life. We have a goal — we're headed to the office, let's say, and the driver ahead of us is moping along, weaving from lane to lane — and we are prevented from achieving it. These random acts of jerkiness — by people you don't and an expert in emotion regulation, says that, typically, the jerk isn't trying to mess with your mind. "Maybe they're distracted, they have too much to do, they made a mistake," Gross says. "The reason we get angry is we imagine they're trying to interfere with our goal." He suggests recognizing our anger, then taking the high Gross, a professor of psychology at Stanford University MCT photo Bob Boddy, left, and Al Ladine tinker on projects at Atria Woodbridge, an assisted-living facility in Irvine. The senior facility has carved out a room for residents to tinker with inventions which some call the Man Cave. "There are too many people sitting around and doing nothing," Ladine said. "We're trying to get them a little more active, give them a little bit to look forward to each day." The 83-year-old engi- neering physicist, who once designed missile defense systems, fills his days with something much simpler, but just as fulfilling. With the help of the community's staff, he has built a laboratory for senior citizens to put their minds and hands to work. It's a crew that has its fair share of limitations: Some are hard of hearing, or lack the dexterity for precision work. Ladine, who has macular degener- ation, is among those whose eyesight has faded. But in the Man Cave, there are no deadlines and every project is a team effort. The ladies are wel- comed into the Man Cave, of course, but it is much more a gathering place for the men. Jessica Houck, and busy, they forget about their problems, and I think that's healthy," Ladine said. "We take one step forward and three steps back, but we still keep moving forward." ___ "When they're working an activities director at Atria, said that because the men are so greatly outnumbered, they have a harder time making friends and keeping up a social life, The facility has 124 residents, who range in age from 64 to 105, though the average age is about 83. Most are wid- owed. "It's hard to meet the ladies," said 92-year-old Robert Boddy, a cave reg- ular who retired from owning a wholesale nurs- ery four months ago. "They have a world of their own." Cave regulars have under- taken is an intricate model railroad based on 1870s Virginia City, an idea Boddy got from "Rough- ing It" by Mark Twain. Bernard Kaplowitz, a retired dentist, is making a model dental office for the town. Ruth Suttner, one of the ladies who help the men paint their pro- jects, just finished the detail work on a bridge. "Ruth is the No. 1 artist assigned on the project," Boddy said. Suttner, 92, laughed One project the Man Some days, she's the only woman among a half-dozen men. "The women feel, I think, that this is the Man Cave, so there's no place for them," she said. "We do have skills we can bring to this, and Al's smart enough to realize this." (Indeed, Ladine said there are a few more jobs coming up that could use a lady's touch.) Yet Suttner realizes the cave means much more to the men. "It fills a need, it really does," she said. "It's stimulating. For some, it satisfies a need to still be useful." coyly. "Well, I enjoy doing it," she said. built 12 years ago, sits at the end of a quiet cul-de- sac. The two-story struc- ture looks like an over- grown suburban home _ the lawn is dotted with trees, the flower beds are manicured and there are tables and umbrellas in a tidy outdoor patio. Inside, it's full of plush chairs and earth tones and, now, plenty of creations from the Man Cave. They have mounted clocks they built in the main entrance and in the dining hall (they went through something of a clock phase), and a horse- racing game devised by Ladine is in the sitting Atria Woodbridge, room. ("The ladies bet a quarter, and the winner comes away with a dol- lar," he said. "They like that.") The crew in the cave returned to hobbies they haven't indulged since childhood: besides the model airplanes, boats and trains are among the favorites. The men are also handy at fixing glass- es and electric wheel- chairs. road. "When we're angry we lash out, we say things we should- n't," he says. "It's important to pay attention to your respons- es, and suddenly you're less likely to be a jerk yourself." That idea is echoed by Jim Fannin, a mental performance coach who has worked with professional athletes and busi- ness and civic leaders over his 30-year career. "I think you need to go to a higher ground, a higher view- point of the world and life," he says. "If you can walk around with that — you're not being above everybody else, it's not that — but understand there are so many people today who have serious issues, and you real- ly don't know what's going on in someone's mind.," Fannin adds. "It's their problem and you can't take it on as your bur- den. "(If you do) you've lost control. When you let another person increase your blood pressure, basically you're giving them permission to bother you." That may be easier said than done. Gross says that when people have been victimized, they The first iteration of the Man Cave was a dark- er, more cramped space than the current one. Dri- ven by a need to tinker, Ladine turned his closet into a miniature work- shop, a conversion that was discovered when he asked if there were any extra cupboards to store his belongings. Staffers found him a smaller room, but the quarters turned out to be too tight due to the fumes from so much glue. ("All the smells, the ladies did- n't care for," Ladine said.) Finally, they pulled the pool table and leather sofas from a rarely used billiard room with good lighting and plenty of space. Now, even this lat- est Man Cave — the size of a den in a big house — is cramped. take it as a direct slap, and anger is automatic. But by con- trolling that emotion, a person can steer the situation in another direction. Fannin (jimfannin.com) has his clients employ what he calls the 90-second rule: After being the victim of a jerk, he suggests, roll your eyes, exhale, maybe judge that person a little. But then, do nothing. Be silent, control your breathing to six to eight breaths a minute, and let it go. "You can't dwell on it," he says. "When you replay the past more than twice you are in a negative situation. Learn from the past, bury it in the backyard, and don't dig it up." Confronting the guilty party has benefits if done proper- ly. Do it wrong and things could get ugly. Fannin says that challenging a stranger carries too many dangers. "It's not worth it," he says. "The champion moves on. He doesn't let people take him to their level." But Gross believes we shouldn't always silence our anger. Expressing it verbally, not physically, can be helpful. You are taking an emotion and using it to change a situation. But be careful. "What we're trying to avoid is two things," he explains. "First, getting angry at the wrong people: the mom with three screaming kids in the car who is weaving from lane to lane. That makes you angry and no one benefits. "The other thing is when people get angry and stay angry. They not only blame somebody, they can't let it go. They ruminate. That's a way for anger not to be expressed in a healthy way." Cut travel costs with free gas courtesy of certain hotels By Kelli B. Grant MarketWatch (MCT) Travelers may find it eas- ier to budget for summer road trips this year: Not only are gas prices falling, but many hotels are offering to fill up the tank. Hotels often offer free gas cards with a few nights' stay when gas prices are on the rise. Many properties put their latest deals in place this spring when the nation- al average for a gallon of regular unleaded was hover- ing close to $4 and more drivers were pledging to stay home. For example, Riviera Palm Springs Resort & Spa in Palm Springs, offers a $50 gas card at check in through May 31, while the Greater Fort Lauderdale Convention and Visitors Bureau awards a $25 card with a two-night stay at select properties any time before September 30. But over the past month alone, gas prices have dropped 18 cents, to an average $3.73, according to AAA. "The deal will go even further now," says Gregg Laskoski, senior petroleum analyst for Gas- Buddy.com. "That card is going to give drivers more value in the tank." These offers could be worth a look if you're among the nearly 31 million Americans AAA says plan to hit the road over Memor- ial Day weekend this year. The number of people expecting to drive is up 1.2 percent, and represents 88 percent of all holiday-week- end travelers. Most are plan- ning to stay close to home, however AAA reports the average trip will be 642 miles, 150 fewer than last year. Laskoski says that's likely because some areas are still seeing elevated gas prices. "There's a tremen- dous opportunity for desti- nations to capture the local drive market by offering gas cards," he says. Travelers should still compare rates and offers before booking. Many of the deals require a set num- ber of nights, and some specify that only certain nights of the week are eligi- ble. Dutchies View B&B in Woolwine, Va., promises a $25 gas card for a three-day stay or a $50 one for four nights. "A seven-day stay fills your entire tank," says innkeeper Patrick Powells. Most require travelers to pay the full-room rate, which may make other sales or packages a better deal. A special coupon or code may also be needed to claim the offer before check-in. For example, at participating Marriott resorts in Canada, booking with code TRS means "your car will stay and eat free" each weekend night stay gets free on-site parking and a $25 gas card. Experts say that even though prices are expected to keep dropping over the next few weeks, consumers may continue to see new free-gas deals pop up throughout the summer travel season. "We're anticipating more offers," says Rich Rodriguez, a spokesman for BNBFinder.com. "Gas prices have come down, but they're still high." Already, he says, innkeepers on the site have posted roughly twice as many offers as this time last year. Some of the hotel deals currently in play also have lengthy expiration dates. The Wyndham Tampa Westshore's offer of a $50 gas card with a two- night stay goes through Dec. 31. James W. Tysinger, Jr. M.D. Eye Physician & Surgeon Fellow American Academy of Ophthalmology We accept Medical, Medicare & most Insurances Office Hours: Tues-Wed-Thurs 8am-4:30pm Mon & Fri 1pm-4:30pm For Emergencies, After Hours, Week-ends, Call 530-567-5001 345 Hickory St. Red Bluff Tel: (530) 529-4733 Fax: (530) 529-1114