Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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26 UCW NOVEMBER 18-24, 2015 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS The Gospel of Luke Warm I've been in a long-distance relationship with my dream man. When we aren't together, I feel super-disconnected and needy. I've never been that sort of person, but he is a master of compartmentalization and just calls or texts back when I contact him and is happy to see me when he sees me. This just isn't working for me. I need a guy who's excited enough about me day to day that he takes a little initiative to talk to me. I've asked him repeatedly to even just text me first from time to time so I can feel like I matter to him. However, nothing changes. I now think I should end it. I do love him, though, and my friends are telling me that I've already invested nine months of my life in this relationship and I might as well see it through now. There is the possibility he'd move to my city, but that wouldn't be for at least eight months, and it is only a possibility. — Across The Country You've told this guy what you need — just a textiepoo at some point or maybe a call as he's on his way someplace. He pretty much responded, "I hear ya, baby — and can't wait to keep doing the exact same thing!" This led you to the obvious (and healthy) conclusion: Time to jump off the lost-cause train. But just then, your friends advised you to put up with the unhappy and see where it goes — because you've already put in so much unhappy. Right. This sort of thinking is called the "sunk cost fallacy." It's a common cognitive bias — an error in reasoning — that leads us to keep investing in something simply because we've already invested so much. Behavioral economist Daniel Kahneman explains that even when we sense that investing further is futile, we're prone to do it because of how powerfully loss affects us. His research finds that we may even feel twice as much pain from a loss as we feel happiness from a gain. So, rather than take the hit to our ego by admitting we've wasted our time, we waste more time doing whatever wasted our time in the first place. The rational (and misery-reducing) approach is recognizing that the time we've already put in is gone and that throwing more time in after it won't change that. What makes sense is deciding what to do based on how likely it is to pay off in the future. In this case, sure, your boyfriend could have a near-death experience, re- evaluate his life, and start texting you heart emojis every 20 minutes -- and Elton John could divorce his husband and start dating women. Of course, if you do ditch this guy, your replacement dream man may not pop up immediately in his wake. But at the very least, you should find that there are many men out there who can fail to meet your needs without your spending thousands of dollars a year on plane tickets. Copyright AMY ALKON WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD A 2015 decision of the Georgia Supreme Court has created a puzzle for drunk driver enforcement. In Georgia (and other states), blood alcohol tests are "voluntary" (to bypass the issue of whether drivers can be forced, or even pressured, to endure a test that ultimately helps to convict them), but the Georgia court has ruled, against custom, that a "consenting" driver might be "too" drunk to appreciate the consent — in which case, the test results would be inadmissible in court. Equally awkwardly, prosecutors would be forced to argue that the drunk driver — too drunk to handle a motor vehicle — was still sober enough to give knowledgeable consent. Atlanta's WSB-TV reported in October that judges statewide are grappling with the issue. [WSB-TV, 10- 29-2015] Recurring Themes Funerals and burials, in the United States and elsewhere, are no longer always so staid. Most famously, one man was, per his instructions, lowered to the ground inside his beloved Cadillac; dressing corpses in fanciful outfits (such as the Green Lantern) is not unheard of. In October, after Mr. Jomar Aguayo Collazo, 23, was killed in a shootout in San Juan, Puerto Rico, the family outfitted his body in his favorite blue tracksuit and propped him up at a table in his mother's tavern ("playing" dominoes and holding a drink and a condom) — as friends and relatives passed by to pay their respects. [Fox News Latino, 10-21-2015] The list of all-time extreme body modifiers would start with the late Dennis "Stalking Cat" Avner (who incrementally cut, chipped, tattooed, pierced and implanted his body to make himself a human feline) and the similarly obsessive Erik "Lizardman" Sprague, who at one time toured with the Jim Rose Circus. Newer to the scene is Britain's Ted Richards, 57, working to become a human parrot. With 110 colorful tattoos, 50 piercings and a split tongue, he currently seeks a surgeon to turn his nose into a beak. Even without the beak, though, Richard says becoming parrotlike "is the best thing that has happened to me." (London's Daily Telegraph, publishing astonishing photos of Richards, asked, rhetorically, whether we've reached "peak plastic surgery.") [Daily Telegraph, 10-16- 2015] In October, a 20-year-old man in Macomb Township, Michigan, became the most recent alleged drunk driver to reveal himself in the most awkward of ways: by accidentally swerving into the midst of a sheriff's deputies' roadside stop — of another alleged drunk driver. (Coincidentally, both arrestees are 20 and registered matching 0.17 blood-alcohol readings.) [ClickonDetroit, 10-14-2015] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you may need to exercise a lot of patience this week. Practice some deep breaths, and find some relaxing music to keep you calm. Your patience will pay off. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, your efforts will be fueled by passion this week. You are likely to put your whole heart behind projects and your relationships. Others will respect you for it. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, in order to make real progress this week, you must evaluate your goals and your priorities. Health should be at the top of this list, so make an effort to be healthier. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, no matter which big decision you need to make this week, run some ideas by trusted friends and family first. They may offer some words of wisdom. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, others are getting the sense that you are restless. When you slow down and think about it, you will probably see they're correct. Find a new, challenging project. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Avoid any deep entanglements for the time being, Virgo. You need to keep things light until you are able to devote more time to your various relationships. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, too many changes happening really fast could make you feel a bit off-kilter. Find something that makes you feel comfortable and embrace that task or place for now. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Intense feelings could bubble to the surface this week, Scorpio. Try to maintain a level head and make the most of this sudden surge of energy. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, a personality clash can be a tricky situation, especially at work. Take the higher ground and you will come through unscathed and better for it. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 This is a super week for new friendships, Capricorn. Join a new group or simply strike up a conversation with a coworker with whom you share an interest. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Take some time now to make home life a priority, Aquarius. You have been going hard at work lately, but now is a great time to make family a bigger priority. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 You must back up an argument with research and proof, Pisces. Get your facts straight before you forge ahead. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard