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Friday, March 23, 2012 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Overt obsession opposite Oedipus Dear Annie: I have been best friends with ''Lisa'' for more than 25 years. We are both single mothers. Her 16-year-old son, ''Dean,'' is friends with my 17-year-old son, ''Jon.'' I have begun to notice that Lisa is overly attached to Dean. When we go somewhere after work, she says she can't stay because Dean wants her home. He'll call or text that it's time for her to leave, and she happi- ly complies. She asks Dean for per- mission before going anywhere on weekends. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar terribly unhealthy for the child. And Dean knows he controls the relationship. We know it's not Lisa's intention to stunt Dean's development out of selfishness and pos- sessiveness. It's OK to talk to her about a child's need to become independent and how parents should not deprive the child of this progress toward maturity. But the two of them are rather enmeshed right now, and there's not much you Jon has been accepted to a few out-of-state universities, and I am excited about him living on his own. Lisa, however, says she is going wherever Dean goes, and right now, he wants to join the army. She found a master's program for the military that she can finish by the time he graduates, and she can then live wherever he's stationed — for his entire military career. When I jok- ingly said his future wife would love that, she replied, ''Who says he's getting married?'' I know it's not my business, but I remember when one of Lisa's boyfriends broke up with her. I wit- nessed breakdowns, depression and stalking. I would not like to see her go through that again. Is it my place to say anything? If so, what? — Worried Friend Dear Worried: Lisa is an extreme helicopter parent, and it's can do. We hope Lisa finds the per- spective to realize the emotional damage she could do to their rela- tionship. Dear Annie: I cannot believe the gall of some of the retired people in my area. Some white-haired old guy actually tried to muscle his way in front of me in the grocery checkout line today. My items were already on the belt, and the people in front of me were paying when I looked up and this old white-haired guy behind me says, ''I'm just going to go in front of you'' — not ''May I?'' or ''Would you mind?'' Just because you are retired or old does not give you the right to do whatever you want. I was on my lunch break. My time is just as important as yours, and you proba- bly have more of it than I do. You should be offering to let the work- ing people of the world go in front of you. After all, we support your butt by paying Social Security taxes — something that probably won't exist when I retire. — Hermitage, Penn. Dear Hermitage: Feel better now? Retired people have already worked hard and paid their share of taxes, so let's not get into that argu- ment. And we hear the same com- plaints about stay-at-home moms and people with flexible work schedules, but those folks might also have restrictions on their time. Here's our best suggestion: No one should be rude to others or expect to jump the line. Those who can manage, please try to go at less busy times to banks, post offices and other places that are only open during business hours. The rest of you, please be tolerant. Dear Annie: ''Steve in Ohio'' says his wife wants to name their son after his ''Aunt Jordan.'' I am a 96-year-old male who was saddled with a gender-neutral name. I detest- ed it and found it embarrassing to introduce myself to new people. When I went away to school, I adopted a masculine middle name, and as an adult, I finally made the middle name legal. Please don't give kids screwball names. They are the ones who pay for it in the future. — Empathy for Jordan Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Hidden treasures at University Art Gallery The University Art Gallery presents Unseen: Hidden Trea- sures from the Ira Latour Visual Resources Collection, an exhi- bition of selected photographs and digital images from the Ira Latour Visual Resources Center. The Center houses a collec- tion of books, films, artist's books, prints, photographs, dig- ital images, slides, and periodi- cals guided by the research and course work within the Art & Art History Department. The collection is supported through a generous endowment from Walter Kohn. The exhibition will be on view March 26-30. The gallery is located in Taylor Hall, Cali- fornia State University Chico, at First Street between Salem and Normal streets. Gallery hours for this exhibi- tion are Monday though Friday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. This exhibi- tion is funded by Student Instructionally Related Activi- ties Fees. Upcoming Court Dates -Trials, Prelimi- nary Hearings(PX) & Pre Trial Conferences (PTC) • Theresa Marie Lewis aka: Theresa Marie Garcia Lewis, will appear in court for further proceedings at 8 a.m. on April 3 in Dept. 3. She is facing the charges of attempt: will- ful, deliberate, and pre- meditated murder, two counts; assault with a deadly weapon, two counts; and child abuse, two counts; special alle- gations great bodily injury(Counts 1 & 2), use of deadly weapon (All Counts), great bodi- James W. Tysinger, Jr. M.D. Eye Physician & Surgeon Fellow American Academy of Ophthalmology We accept Medical, Medicare & most Insurances Office Hours: Tues-Wed-Thurs 8am-4:30pm Mon & Fri 1pm-4:30pm For Emergencies, After Hours, Week-ends, Call 530-567-5001 345 Hickory St. Red Bluff Tel: (530) 529-4733 Fax: (530) 529-1114 Reducing stress critical after surgery DEAR DOC- TOR K: I am recovering from breast cancer surgery. Unfortu- nately, my healing process is coincid- ing with several unexpected stress- ful events in my life. Can stress actually slow my healing? Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. DEAR READER: Stress does have far- reaching physical effects. There is plenty of research showing that stress — especially long-term stress, and the feeling that you cannot get control of your life — can harm your body. It all starts with the body's stress response. Our bodies are "wired" to respond to acute stressors. For example, our distant ancestors often had to deal with approaching preda- tors. Their bodies had to be prepared to fight or to flee. Life in the 21st century doesn't expose most of us to the threat of being eaten by lions. But we do have our own version of such threats, like nearly getting run over by a speeding car. What we probably have more of today than our ancestors on the Serengeti had is CHRONIC stress — the drip, drip, drip of one challenge after anoth- er: The traffic jam. The kid who needs to get to a soccer game when you had planned to go shop- ping. The boss who asks for something by tomor- row. And how are you going to find the time for that if you have to get your kid to soccer and also shop? Courtesy photo Eugene Atget Environs of Paris. Gelatin silver print, 1910, printed 1956 by Berenice Abbott. Such chronic stress releases stress hormones that raise your blood pres- sure and add fat to your body. These two effects of chronic stress, and others, increase your risk of heart disease and stroke. Chron- ic stress may also sup- press your immune sys- tem, making you more vulnerable to infections. Since the immune system appears to have a role in fighting cancer, chronic stress could theoretically COURT ROUND-UP ly injury (All Counts) Officers responded to Garcia-Lewis' residence after they received a report that the 13-year- old victim had a cut on his neck. Upon arrival officers began investi- gating the incident and learned Garcia-Lewis had given the victim pills and slit his throat in a failed attempt to kill him. Garcia-Lewis was arrested and taken into custody. • Laura Lynn East will appear in court at 9 a.m. on April 12 in Dept. 2. She is facing the charges of child abuse, driving under the influence of alcohol $ 15 Off regular price With this ad! • Same Day Service • Free E-File • Check Our Price • Over 45 Years Experience P. Ralph Campbell, EA Enrolled Agent Daniele Jackson 530-529-9540 855 Walnut St. #2, Red Bluff and/or drugs, hit-run driving. Based upon an inves- tigation conducted by the California Highway Patrol, East was driving a school bus full of kids when she began driving erratically. It was report- ed East backed the school bus into a sign, nearly drove the bus off the shoulder of the road and continued swerving on the road while stop- ping at the bus stop loca- tions to pick up children. • Victor Hugo Rodriguez will appear in court at 1:15 p.m. on March 26 in Dept. 2 and 9 a.m. on May 9. He is facing the charges of gross vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated, special alle- gation fleeing the scene of the crime, leaving the scene of an accident. Officer responded to the scene of a hit and run. Upon arrival offi- The North State's premier supplier of stoves STOVE JUNCTION The Over 25 years of experience COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2595 + cert. Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. 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During the investigation Van- derveer's computer was seized and investigators located several items of child pornography. make a person more vulnerable to getting cancer. For the same rea- son, it could make it harder for a per- son like you to heal from a cancer she's been fight- ing. A 2005 research study of women undergo- ing breast cancer treat- ment concluded that a high stress level before a cancer diagnosis affected health afterward. High stress resulted in a lower physical and emotional quality of life immediate- ly after treatment. The same was true even a year later. Stress can also have indirect effects on your health. People can respond to stress in unhealthy ways — by overeating, smoking, drinking too much, not exercising enough and engaging in other risky behaviors that can take their toll. Can stress reduction programs help a patient like you who is recovering from cancer? Studies have come down on both sides of that question. In my experience, patients gen- erally feel they are a great benefit. You can find a lot more information on ways to improve your healing process in the new book "You Can Heal Yourself: A Guide to Physical and Emotional Recovery After Injury or Illness" by Har- vard Medical School's Julie Silver, M.D. You can find out more about it at my website. You can also take steps to reduce your stress by regularly practicing relaxation techniques, which halt the harmful physical processes of stress. Mindfulness medi- tation, yoga and deep breathing are good places to start. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com.