Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/585465
OCTOBER 14-20, 2015 UCW 19
WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM
ADVICE GODDESS
Photo-bomb Scare
I'm a 29-year-old woman, and I've
been dating a guy for two months. I
was scrolling (okay, stalking him) on
Instagram and saw a pic of him with this
pretty girl with her arm draped around
his neck. Does monogamy just happen,
or should I initiate the "commitment
talk"?
— Nervous
Understand why men commit:
because they come to love a particular
woman more than they love their
freedom — not because they've decided
it would be a bore to have sex with
the Pilates-teaching twins. Getting to
"only you" happens after a guy starts to
feel attached to you, which comes out
of a combination of sexual attraction,
emotional compatibility and the sense
that you have a package of qualities that
he's unlikely to get from anyone else.
Feeling this way takes time — time
spent together,
and sometimes,
a little time spent
comparison
shopping. Trying
to rush the process
is like planting a
pea in the morning,
yelling "GROW!
GROW! GROW!" and expecting to be
climbing a beanstalk by noon.
Also, even for a guy who's
starting to care about you, hearing
"We need to have the commitment
talk" can be like hearing the starting
gun at the Olympics. There are
couples who get serious without ever
having this icky conversation. It just
happens organically. But to avoid
misunderstandings, right from the start,
you should be indicating your interest in
getting into a relationship. No, not with
strategically strewn Brides magazines or
messages magic-markered across your
breasts: "MARRY ME!!!" You simply
drop remarks about what you want and
then ask questions to draw out what a
guy's up for. This allows you to get out
fast if your goals aren't a match — as
opposed to getting to the four-month
mark, holding him down and screaming
in his face: "So what's it gonna be,
buddy? You looking to start a family —
or a harem?!"
As for the woman in this photo, she
could be someone to your man — or
someone standing near him when his
friend was taking his picture. (People
shooting photos rarely say, "Okay, you
two, get as far apart as you can.") You
could ask him — and reveal that you've
been going all Secret Squirrel on social
media. But you could also ask yourself,
simply by applying context. Look at the
photo as one piece of information in the
whole of your experiences with him:
Is he increasingly sweet and attentive?
Increasingly eager to see you? Are you
starting to meet his friends? Chances
are, you already have the information
you need to figure out whether your
relationship is going places — without
trying to conduct it at a speed that
suggests your ancestry is part French,
part Italian, and part cheetah.
Copyright AMY ALKON
WEEKLY
HOROSCOPES
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
by CHUCK SHEPPARD
PlayStations and Xboxes, However,
State-of-the-Art: A New York University
Center for Justice study released
in September warned that, unless
major upgrades are made quickly, 43
states will conduct 2016 elections on
electronic voting machines at least 10
years old and woefully suspect. Those
states use machines no longer made
or poorly supported, and those in 14
states are more than 15 years old. There
are apprehensions over antiquated
security (risking miscounts, potential for
hacking), but also fear of election-day
breakdowns causing long lines at the
polls, depressing turnout and dampening
confidence in the overall fairness of the
process. The NYU center estimated the
costs of upgrading at
greater than $1 billion.
[Politico, 9-15-2015]
Wait, What?
In a "manifesto" to
celebrate "personal
choice and
expression" in the
standard of beauty
"in a society that already places too
many harmful standards on women,"
according to a July New York Times
report, some now are dyeing their
armpit hair. At the Free Your Pits website,
and events like "pit-ins" in Seattle and
Pensacola, Florida, envelope-pushing
women offer justifications ranging from
political resistance to, according to one,
"want(ing) to freak out (her) in-laws."
Preferred colors are turquoise, hot pink,
purple and neon yellow. [New York Times,
7-16-2015]
Actress Melissa Gilbert (a star of
TV's "Little House on the Prairie"), 51,
announced in August that she would
run for Congress from Michigan's 8th
Congressional District— even though
she is currently on the hook to the IRS
and California for back taxes totaling
$470,000. Gilbert, a former president of
the Screen Actors Guild and member of
the AFL-CIO Executive Council, promised
that she (and her actor-husband) would
pay off her tax bill — by the year 2024.
[Detroit Free Press, 8-12-2015]
"Odette Delacroix," 25, of North
Hollywood, California, is a petite (86
pounds) model who runs an adult fetish
website in which people (i.e., men) pay
to watch her tumble around, bikini-clad,
with "plus-size" models, up to five at a
time, squashing and nearly suffocating
her in "pigpiles." "Odette" told London's
edition of Cosmopolitan that her
PetiteVsPlump website has so far earned
her about $100,000. [Cosmopolitan UK,
5-27-2015]
COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD
ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20
Aries, delve deeper to get to know a new
acquaintance more closely. There is more
to this person than what you will see on the
surface, so don't hesitate to connect.
TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21
Taurus, expect to be pulled in a million
directions over the next several days. Keep a
cool head and you will handle this situation
with the same flare you always do.
GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21
Take a step back and reassess a particular
situation this week, Gemini. A step back and
a new perspective might be just what you
need to make the most of this situation.
CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22
Cancer, you sometimes have a sixth sense
about you, and it guides you through the
tough decisions that need to be made. Rely
on your intuition for something major this
week.
LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23
Leo, you will be the king (or queen) of your
domain this week. Others will respect your
final decision on many issues, and you will
feel comfortable being the head honcho.
VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22
Virgo, you cannot dictate every situation.
Not only can you get frazzled, but also
others may begrudge your taking over all of
the time. Go with the flow once in a while.
LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23
Libra, if you have any tricks up your sleeve,
now is a good time to pull them all out.
People are expecting serious productivity
and you can deliver.
SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22
Scorpio, this week presents a great
opportunity to allow a colleague to
take over the reins of a big project. This
person is fully capable and ready for the
responsibility.
SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21
Sagittarius, others may turn up at your
door this week seeking assistance. Don't
be surprised by the sudden visitors, and do
your best to send them off with what they
need.
CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20
Capricorn, with so much on your schedule,
you have to give some serious thought to
prioritizing. Otherwise, you may expend
energy that cannot be wasted.
AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18
You have been indecisive of late, Aquarius.
While you may not know which way to go
regarding an important decision, trust your
instincts and you won't be unhappy.
PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20
Treat yourself well this week, Pisces. Dine
out at an upscale restaurant or indulge in
a spa treatment. You deserve something
special.
Amy Alkon
Chuck Sheppard
October 17
th
18
th
in Laurinburg, NC
Storytelling Fes