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Tuesday, January 31, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Picture present peeves pop Dear Ready: We were sympa- thetic until you said that ''knowing she is still living is a burden.'' We realize she is difficult, but Mary also sounds mentally ill. Healthy, well-adjusted people do not behave like this. Please contact the Nation- al Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) at 1-800-950-NAMI (1- 800-950-6264) and ask for help. Dear Annie: I was divorced 18 years ago. I do not have a good relationship with my ex-wife, who left me for another man. Over the years, she has encouraged our chil- dren to dislike my current wife, to whom I have been married for 17 years and who helped raise my kids. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Dear Insulted: This was insensitive of your son, Here's the problem. For Christmas, my son gave us an album with photos of our new grandson. The album also contains many pictures of my ex-wife, but only one of my wife and me, and it's the size of a postage stamp. Could they not have created an album without all the photos of their mother? (I think it's even possible that my ex-wife put the album together.) Should I ignore this? Should I ask that they con- sider our feelings in the future? We don't want to display an album with pictures of my ex. — Insult- ed Parents but probably not ill intended, so try to forgive him. You can choose whether or not to display any gift, but please don't complain about it. If there is a way to remove the photos of your ex-wife or to have the pictures re-set to exclude her, do so. Then ask your son for a picture of his family so you can display it in a prominent place in your home. If he mentions that you already have one in the album, you can tell him why you would prefer another. Dear Annie: My mother-in-law, ''Mary,'' is a demanding, conceited, freeloading, depressed 60- year-old witch. She has made our lives miserable for the five years I've been married. Mary used to work as a nurse, owned her own home and paid her own bills. Shortly after we mar- ried, she quit her job, saying she was too depressed, and let her house go. She became an appendage to our sofa for two years. It affected our marriage so much that my husband finally asked her to leave. Not only did she call me every name in the book, but she proceeded to post fliers around town calling me a family wrecker. She then moved in with my parents for another two years. She still tells everyone that we threw her to the wolves and left her for dead. This woman is convinced that her depression started the year my husband was born. Her parents were extremely wealthy, and even though she left home at age 16, she still thinks the red carpet should be rolled out every time she shows up. She makes plans with friends and expects to borrow our car and our cash. Mom has doctors and therapists provided to her by the state, but she is getting worse and refuses to apply for disability. Now she is staying at our local rescue mission so she won't ''burden anyone,'' but as awful as it sounds, knowing that she is still liv- ing is a burden. We want to start our own family, but the stress is overwhelming. How do we deal with her? — Ready To Throw in the Towel Dear Annie: My sons (now well into middle age) would never commit any of the cooking sins ''California'' describes, because I taught them bet- ter. They were using a microwave oven correctly by the time they were 10 years old, and a conven- tional oven and cooktop as soon as they were tall enough to safely reach the back burner. If ''California'' has children, I hope she is teaching them proper kitchen procedures while they still live with her. And she should insist that her husband sit in on the lessons. — St. Maarten Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. Lasik surgery improves vision for almost everyone DEAR DOCTOR K: focus. I've worn glasses and contact lenses for years. I just scheduled LASIK surgery. What will happen during this procedure? DEAR READ- ER: LASIK is a type of eye surgery for peo- ple, like you, who want to avoid wearing glasses or contact lenses. How does it work? To answer that, let's talk about how you see. You see things because the light from those things travels into your eye. First, it travels through the outermost, clear round layer of your eye, the cornea. The cornea bends light a little. Then light hits the lens inside your eye, where it gets bent some more. Finally, the light lands on the retina, in the back of your eye. That's the part of the eye that first "sees" something. If light gets bent properly by the cornea and lens, the retina sees things in Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. The problem, of course, is that many people develop prob- lems focusing properly. I think that eye- glasses were one of the most important inventions in human history: Imagine the problems we would have if huge numbers of us couldn't see clearly. Glasses and contact lenses bend light so that it focuses on your reti- na. LASIK does the same thing, by reshap- ing your cornea. LASIK begins with an important pre- surgery eye evaluation. At this appointment, your eye doctor will thoroughly examine your eyes. He will take precise measurements of your eyes, including measurements of the shape and thickness of your cornea. On the day of the procedure, your doctor may give you a mild sedative to help you relax. Numbing eye drops are placed in your eye so that you won't feel pain or discomfort. An instrument is insert- ed into your eye to keep your eyelids open. Next, a ringlike suc- tion device is placed on the front of your eyes to hold your cornea in place. You'll feel a sen- sation of pressure, but no pain. As the procedure begins, the eye surgeon uses a delicate cutting instrument to slice a small, hinged flap of tissue from the front of your cornea. You will not see or feel this. The surgeon then folds back the hinged flap of cornea. Next, the laser is moved into position, and you will be asked to stare at a light. Staring fixes your gaze and keeps your eye from moving. The doctor then uses the laser to reshape your cornea. The reshaping is guided by a computer. It is based on the precise eye measurements taken during your pre-surgery exam. Finally, the doctor repositions the hinged flap of cornea. No stitches are necessary. LASIK generally takes 10 to 15 minutes for each eye. You may feel slight discomfort or a burning sensation for a few hours afterward. Many people who have LASIK surgery notice dramatic improvements in vision almost immediately. In others, improvement occurs gradually over three to six months. There's also a small chance you'll need to return for a second pro- cedure to fine-tune your vision. LASIK is not always perfect. It can cause side effects such as dry eyes and glare during night driving. But for almost everyone, it improves vision. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. 3B