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6C Daily News – Tuesday, January 24, 2012 FEATURES Cursed cuckold craves career, companionship Dear Annie: I am a man in my 50s with a lot of problems. First, my wife of nearly 20 years left me for a much younger man. (She now lives in a foreign coun- try.) For three years, I've been raising three kids alone. I'm under-employed and nearly broke. Despite my education and years of experience, I can only find part-time, low-paying work. My kids and I greatly benefit from the love and generosity of my mom, who has allowed us to live with her. Aside from that, my wife refuses to sign divorce papers. I wasn't looking to end my marriage, but I have told her that I don't want to waste my life waiting for her to come back. She gives no indication that she wants to reconcile, but she procrastinates about the papers, and I can't afford a lawyer. My few friends seem to be too busy or uncomfortable visiting me now that my life is mess and I am broke. I have gained too much weight and was drinking too much, although I am trying to control my bad habits. The women I meet seem to want someone thinner, richer and less complicated. To make matters worse, if a woman seems even remotely interested, I become ner- vous and run the other way. I have no health insurance, so I'm getting free psychological counsel- ing at a local clinic, but it's a long process. I feel hopeless and anxious. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I don't know what to do or where to turn. Any sugges- tions? — Life Isn't Easy Dear Life: Counseling is a good first step. You are understandably depressed and likely have been spiral- ing downward for three years, but it sounds as if you are finally ready to dig out of the hole. Contact any local bar association or law school for free or low-cost advice on extricating your- self from your marriage. Refresh your resume, network, check online work postings, and let friends and family know you are looking for a better job. Stop self- medicating with alcohol, which can exacerbate your depression, and start exercising. It not only will help with your weight, but it will lift your spirits by boosting endorphins. A brighter attitude will attract peo- ple. We'll be rooting for you. Dear Annie: We recently returned from a visit to my 66-year- old brother. He was rude, abusive and overbearing, all of which are way out of character. When I got home, I phoned him and suggested he get a checkup. I thought he might have developed a chemical imbalance. His doctor dis- covered that his medications needed to be adjusted. It was such a simple thing, but the effect of the change in meds has been dramatic. Please remind your readers that advancing age is not the only reason for unusu- al or erratic behavior. — Been There in behavior or temperament — at any age — could have a medical basis, and it is always wise to check it out with a doctor. Thanks for say- ing so once again. Dear Annie: You suggested to ''Give Me an Old-Fashioned Christ- mas'' that in lieu of gifts for rela- tives, he could donate to a charity in their honor. I have had this ''gift'' given to me by friends and relatives, and I don't like it. Often, the charity is not one I would choose, nor would I want to be on their list of donors so I can receive solicitations all year. And the donation provides a tax deduction for the givers, which makes it a gift to them, not me. If friends or relatives wish to do this instead of giving me a gift, fine, but please don't say it's ''in my honor.'' They should simply say they are giving their money to char- ity instead of using it on presents. I have no problem with that. — Old Scrooge in Omaha Dear Scrooge: We're sure you aren't the only one who feels this way. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Fish and Game events in February The Department of Fish and Game Calendar for February is as follows: •2 - Flyway Nights Lecture Series, 7 p.m. at the Yolo Bypass Wildlife Area headquarters build- ing near Davis. Refresh- ments will be served. A $5 donation per person or $10 per family is suggest- ed at the door (excluding Yolo Basin Foundation members). For details please see www.yolobasin.org. •4-5 - Weekend Wildlife Walks at Gray Lodge Wildlife Area sanctuary, 3207 Ruther- ford Rd., Gridley (95948), at 10 a.m. Saturday and 1 p.m. Spectacular views of THE Locally owned & operated Keep the 5A>6 air out & the WARM air in with ENERGY EFFICIENT WINDOWS & DOORS Better Built Windows REMEMBER US FOR ALL YOUR DOOR & MOLDING NEEDS. We're not just for contractors 1040 B Monroe St., Red Bluff (530) 527-7962 LIC#659256 Don't get caught frustrated with your new electronics. Let us make your New Year set up hassle free! Vets & Seniors get 10% discount. Call us today...help is on the way. Xtreme PC Solutions www.xtremepcsolutions.com 528-1688 snow geese and other wintering wildlife. A fun way to learn about wet- lands, wildlife and the Gray Lodge Wildlife Area. Cost is included in the entrance fee for wildlife viewers. Pre-paid passes are now available online at www.dfg.ca.gov/licensing or from a DFG license sales office or license agent. Tours are cancelled in heavy rain. Please con- tact the Gray Lodge Wildlife Area Naturalist Office, (530) 846-7505 or see www.dfg.ca.gov/lands/wa /region2/graylodge for more information. • 11 - Public Tour of Yolo Basin Wildlife Area, 9 a.m. to noon with an experienced field trip leader on the second Sat- urday of every month. View 16,000-acres of flooded seasonal and permanent wetlands, native grasslands and young riparian forests. Look for migrating and resident waterfowl, shorebirds, songbirds, raptors and wading birds. Visit www.yolobasin.org for more information. • 25 - California Duck Days at Yolo Bypass Wildlife Area. A wetlands festival in the heart of the Pacific Flyway features a full day of field trips, workshops and other activities at the Yolo Bypass Wildlife Area Headquarters facility in South Davis. Admission prices vary and online registration and ticket purchase is required. Please visit www.yolobasin.org/event s.cfm. • 26 -Tour North Table Mountain Ecological Reserve near Oroville, Saturdays at 10 a.m. and 1 p.m., Feb. 25 through April, when flowers are in bloom. Local field experts will point out and discuss the area's unique geology, vernal pools, waterfalls, wildflowers and wildlife. Each tour is limited to 25 participants. Online regis- tration is required in advance at www.dfg.ca.gov/lands/er/ region2/northtable.html. These two-hour tours were extremely popular in 2011, so early registration is recommended. People can also take self-guided tours of the reserve any day. More outdoors and nature-oriented events that are not sponsored by DFG are on the online calendar at www.dfg.ca.gov/events/. 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That's because advocates promote them as safer and more effective than FDA- approved, conventional hor- mone therapy (HT). Women have good rea- son to be interested in a new treatment option. Conven- tional combined hormone therapy (estrogen and prog- esterone) raises the risk of blood clots and breast can- cer. It can increase the risk of heart disease, stroke and dementia in women older than 60 (or 10 years past menopause). Most doctors now sug- gest HT only for short-term symptom relief. There are two reasons for that. First, in many women, the symp- toms of menopause last only a few years. Second, the risks of HT increase the longer it is taken, and the older the woman taking it. However, in many of my patients the symptoms of menopause last longer than a few years. So those patients would like to con- tinue taking HT. Fortunate- ly, there are other treatments — non-hormone treatments — that treat the symptoms of menopause. Still, some women want to continue using hormones and look to bioidenticals. FDA-approved bioiden- tical hormones do exist. But supporters of bioidentical hormones are usually talk- ing about a particular regi- men called bioidentical hor- mone replacement therapy (BHRT). The process involves identifying "deficiencies" in a woman's hormones. Then a mix of hormones is prescribed to correct the deficiencies. A com- pounding pharmacy fills the prescription using hor- mones from "natural" sources. This usually means they come from The prescription includes estrogen and progesterone. But it may also include other hor- mones. Some pos- sibilities are testos- terone and dehy- droepiandrosterone (DHEA). Adrenal hormones extracted from animal glands may also be included. Proponents of BHRT make many claims for why they believe it's healthier than conventional HT. They say BHRT hormones aren't drugs because they are mol- ecular copies of the hor- mones made by women's bodies. They say the only reason drug companies don't invest in them is because you can't patent natural substances. And they say they are safer than synthetic hormones. None of these claims are true. The FDA requires "black box" safety warnings for all FDA-approved hormone treatments for menopause. Unfortunately, hormones from compounding pharma- cies aren't FDA-approved. So no black box warning is required. This gives the false impression that they are safer than commercially marketed drugs. Research has shown the FDA-approved versions to be free of contamination and effective in relieving menopausal symptoms. Unfortunately, we do not know the answer to the question most of my patients ask: Do bioidentical hormones have the same risks as conventional HT, when taken for many years? If I had to bet, I would bet they do. Until hormones from compounding pharmacies are tested by research, we don't know if they're safe. I suggest you stick with FDA- approved bioidentical hor- mones for now. 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